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Don't Ask Me To Explain
Tuesday, 13 September 2005
It's hardly easy
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Jason Mraz (shut your mouth, he's a talented musician!)

I'm pretty stressed out. I started my second job at the animal shelter. Its not as glamorous as I had hoped. Its hard and dirty work with shitty pay, but time goes fast. And the people are nice and actually listen to decent music while they work! But the whole scheduling between the CAHS and Michaels is really fucked up, and I don't know how to take care of it. I'm confused and it feels like for the first time ever, there is a chance that things can't work out in my favor. Damn, that smarts.... I might have to quit the CAHS already.


My legs are in some serious pain since fencing practice last night. I could barely move this morning, and it hasn't gotten much better throughout the day. Bending down is the worse, I keep nearly colapsing. I'm not complaining though! Fencing was the most fun I've had doing a real workout. I was sweating and everything! And I keep thinking of how toned my legs are going to become. Fantastic!


I am so infatuated with a boy that I've only had like four real conversations with, the most recent being a couple months ago. I gave up on him back then because he had a girlfriend. Does he still? I don't know, and I wouldn't care, if it weren't for the fact that I've randomly begun having dreams about him at night. They've rekindled my interest. I wish I could see him, but I don't think we're at school at the same time (yes, we go to school together). I was even going to post a picture of him here, but decided against it for obvious reasons.


He's not the only one I'm interested in right now, but there is one that I wish would lose his interest in me. Thats harsh, and not all the way true, but.... Tomas has been calling/emailing and stuff, which is nice because I like him and "treasure our relationship" or whatever, but it seems that the more we talk, the less we have in common. There were simpler times when it was just, "You like cats too?! Lets go make out!" Now, he likes to reveal his recent... exploits to me, and wants me to do the same. But I have no similar stories to tell him (nor does any person I know or associate myself with). And its just... gah.. I'm losing interest, I suppose. I didn't reply to his last email, but he kept writing to me. I don't want to lose his friendship, I just want to cool it down. Ya know? The way normal foreign pen pals write to each other.


I've got one for you: I've locked myself out of the apartment three times in the past two days. Is that funny, or pathetic/sad/incredibly fucking frustrating? Its terribly inconvenient. I always look for three things before I leave: my phone, my wallet and my keys. Always. And yet I keep misplacing my keys. How? I don't get it, I always make such a good point about grabbing them. Today I couldn't find them until a few minutes ago when I spotted them lying in the cat's bed. How did this happen? Am I losing my mind?


I'm a little disappointed about missing Sufjan last night. But I am completely sad and bitter about not being able to go to the Bloc Party show tomorrow. :( Sad Weezie, Weezie's sad...


Posted by mi3/elyse at 10:40 PM EDT
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