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ON
CAT-PROOFING
Like
God keeps His eye upon
the sparrow,
I
keep my eye upon the
cat,
For
unlike the little
sparrow,
I'm
not sure just where
she's at.
She
knows the couch is out
of bounds,
Yet
invariably she goes
there,
She
ignores the yellow
warning tape,
I've
wound around it, in
despair.
I
know she likes electric
cords,
She
pulls them from the
wall,
I've
told her fifty million
times,
THAT'S
NOT ALLOWED AT ALL!
The
wires are rewired now,
To
shriek like fire sirens,
If
she so much as puts a
paw
Anywhere
near their environs.
She
treats the kitchen
counter,
As
a fun place on which to
glide,
Though
it's purposely
lubricated
To
make her slip and slide.
When
I booby-trapped the
cupboards,
I
thought, "A-ha!
I've stopped her
now!"
But
fearlessly she enters,
And
does not blow up,
somehow.
Some
cat owners keep baskets
Of
balls of yarn upon the
floor,
My
basket's filled with
hand grenades,
Which
she bats around 'til she
gets bored.
Alternate
pencils on my desktop,
On
impact will explode,
She
always kicks the safe
ones off,
How
ever does she know?
When
I open up the door a
crack,
She
manages to flee,
It
does no good to shut her
in,
I
may as well give her the
key.
There's
nothing wrong with cat
food,
It's
made special, just for
cats,
But
she wants steak and
baked potato,
GET
DOWN! GET OFF MY
TABLEMAT!
Just
once I'd like to wear a
dress,
Not
accessorized with cat
hair,
But
plastic bags do not
protect,
How
does she get inside
there?
I
firmly speak; my voice
is loud,
Sometimes
I fairly SHOUT!
But,
somehow her cat meows,
Are
loud enough to drown me
out.
I
tell her time and time
again,
CUT
OUT THAT LOOKING CUTE!
It
would help so much when
I yell at her,
If
she looked more like a
brute.
Her
attention span is not
too long,
Just
long enough to drive me
wild,
I'm
convinced she had some
lessons,
From
a clever, spoiled child.
I
have a knife. I
have a gun,
I
can even wear disguise,
But
I am disarmed by her
feline charm,
When
I meet her big cat eyes.
I
doubt God's little
sparrows,
Give
Him trouble quite like
mine,
But
He can't hold them in
His lap,
Or
hug them any time.
Oh,
I suppose it is a
tradeoff,
And
I do get some relief,
Like
when she's curled up on
the couch
Behind
the yellow tape, asleep.
I
think to master cat
control,
Is
a fine, accomplished
art,
I've
learned I can cat-proof
my house,
But
I can't cat-proof my
heart.
Virginia
(Ginny) Ellis
(©2000,
used with permission)
Ginny's
Place
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