By John Shepard taken from pagansunite

Materials required: On the altar there are brown
candles, a Tootsie
Roll (The really big one, used as an athame) a large
glass with milk in
it, (the chalice), a small dish of Nestle's Quik and a
spoon, a small
disk of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes and
some Yoo-Hoo along
with a goblet.

Cleanse the Sacred Space:

(Take small bowl of chocolate sprinkles)

Chocolate sprinkles where thou art cast
No calories in thy presence last.
Let no fat adhere to me,
And as I will So Mote It BE!

Nestle's Quik where thou are cast
Turn this milk to chocolate, fast.
Let all good things come to me,
And make my milk all chocolately!

CAST THE CIRCLE (using a tootsie roll):

CALL THE QUARTERS:

Mousse of the East, Fluffy one!
Great prince of the palace of dessert.
Be present, we pray thee,
And guard this circle from all moochers
Approaching from the East.

Fondue of the South, Molten One!
Great prince of the palace of decadence.
Be present we pray thee,
And guard this circle from all diets
Approaching from the south.

Cocoa of the west, Satisfying One!
Great prince of the palace of thirst.
Be present we pray thee,
And quard this circle from all carob
Approaching from the West.

Rocky Road of the North, Cold one!
Great Prince of the palace of crunchy.
Be present we pray thee,
And guard this circle from all cheap imitations
Approaching from the North.

MAIN RITUAL:

HANDMAIDEN (henceforth known as the Swiss Miss):

Listen to the words of the Mother of Chocolate; who
was of old called;
Godiva, Ethel M, Sara Lee, Nestle, Mrs. SEe, and by
many other names:

HPS: Whenever you have on of those cravings, once in a
while and better
it be when your checkbook is full, then shall you
assemble in a great
public place and bring offerings of money to the
spirit of Me, who is
Queen of all Goodies.

In the Mall shall you assemble, you who have eaten all
your chocolate
and are hungry for more. To you I shall bring Good
Things for your
tongue.

And you shall be free from depression, and as a sign
that you are truly
free, you shall have chocolate smears on your cheeks,
and you shall
munch, nosh, snack, feast, and make yummy noises, all
in my presence. For
mine is the ecstasy of phenylalanine, and mine also is
Joy on Earth,
yea, even into High Orbit, for my law is "Melts in
your mouth, not in
your hand."

Keep clean your fingers, carry Wet Ones always, let
none stop you or
turn you aside. For mine is the secret that opens your
mouth, and mine is
the taste that puts a smile on your lips and comfy,
padding pounds on
your hips.

I am the Gracious Goddess who gives the gift of joy
unto the tummies of
men and women. Upon the earth, I give knowledge of all
things
delicious, and beyond death.......well, I can't do
much there. Sorry about that.

I demand only your money in sacrifice, for behold,
chocolate is a
business, and you have to pay for those truffles
before you eat them.

SWISS MISS: Hear now the words of the Goodie Goddess,
she in the dust
of whose feet are the cheap imitations, whose body
graces candy racks
and finer stores everywhere:

I, who am the beauty of chocolate chips, and the
satisfying softness of
big bars, the mystery of how they get the filling
inside of truffles,
and fill the hearts of all but Philistines with
desire, call unto thy
soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the sould of
candy; from me do
all confections spring, and unto me all of you shall
return,
again.......and again......and again.........and
again.

Before my smeared face, beloved of Women and Men,
thine innermost
divine self shall be enfolded in the rapture of
overdose.

Let my taste be within thy mouth that rejoices. For
behold, all acts of
yummies and pleasure are my rituals. Therefore let
there be gooeyness
and mess, crispness and crackling, big slabs and bite
size pieces,
peanut butter and chocolate covered cherries all
within you.

And you who think to seek me, know that your seeking
and yearning shall
avail you not unless you know the Mystery; "We will
sell no chocolate
until you pay for it."

For behold; I have been with you since you were just a
baby, and I am
that which is attained at nearly any shop in the land.

Messed Be.

Swiss Miss: Hear now the words of the Chocolate God,
who was of old
called Ghirardelli, Milton, Snavely Hershey, Bosco,
Fudgesicle, and by
many other names.

HP: I am the strength of the candy rack, and the piece
that fell on the
floor, but looks like it might not have gotten too
dirty, and the
deepest bitterness of the dark chocolate. No matter
how you try to resist
the call of chocolate, I will hunt you out and I will
become your sacred
prey. I am the warmth of hot cocoa in the dead of
wither, and the Call
of the road that leads you to that really expensive
Godiva store
downtown.

I give you, my creatures, the fire of love of
chocolate, the power of
jaw strength to bite off a piece of that frozen Milky
Way bar, and the
shelter of Haagen Dax when that big date didn't work
out. You are dear
to me, and I instill in you my power; the power of a
piece of chocolate
that you had forgotten you had hidden, and the power
of vision and
magickal sight with which you can spot a candy counter
a mile away.

By the powers of the half melted bar in the glorious
sun, I charge you;
by the darkest depths of the bottom of the cocoa pot
and the lingering
smell of bittersweet chocolate, I charge you; and by
the the beauty of
a perfectly swirled vanilla butter cream, I charge
you.

Follow your heart and your instinct, wherever they
lead you. The wealth
in your pocket can buy you treats that a Mayan king
would envy. Take
joy in that first bite of lecithin emulsified cocoa,
and in the last
satisfying slurp of Yoo-Hoo. Yet you must be wary of
deceit. Eat not of
that which is called "Baking Chocolate" for it is vile
and bitter.

Lastly, always remember to leave some chocolate behind
you. Be not
greedy, but let yourself be known as a connoisseur.
Leave a little for
someone else.

I am with you always, just over your shoulder, or
around the next
corner. I am the Lord of Chocolate, and when you have
reached the end of
your hoard, I will never be farther away from you than
that 7-11 on the
corner. I am the spirit of the Wild Child; the Inner
Child who can never
get quite enough. If you are a true chocolate lover,
then your soul and
mine are intertwined.

CUPCAKES & YOO-HOO

(The blessing of the Yoo-Hoo)

HP: Be it known that milk chocolate is not better than
dark chocolate.

HPS: Nor is dark chocolate better than milk chocolate.

HP: For both are better than the falsely named "White
Chocolate"

HPS: And neither one is carob.

HP: As the frosting is to the cupcake,

HPS: So the creamy nougat is to the Milky Way Bar.

BOTH: And when they are eaten, they are yummy in
truth, for there is no
greater snack in all the world than one made of
chocolate.

(The blessing of the cupcakes)

HP:Frosting is keen,

HPS: And the filling is neat.

BOTH: Great Goddess! Let's eat!

Feasting and drinking (chocolate liquor, if possible)
music and dance.

Dismiss Quarters

HPS: Oh ye mighty goodies of the ________,
We thank you for attending our rites and guarding our
circle
And ere you depart for you sweet and sticky realms,
We say unto you, "N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestles makes the
very best."

ALL: "Chooooocooolate"

(After all guarters have been dismissed, give a final,
satisfying belch
to the East)

Close circle

copyright August 1992, John L Shepard. Permission is
given to post
anywhere as long as the content is not altered and
this notice is attached.