Mich’s temper was notorious throughout the Library, and usually when she yelled Nev—and anyone else in the general vicinity—ran for cover.
This time would prove to be an exception.
Nameh watched in abject astonishment as Nev stuck his thumbs in in his ears and waggled his fingers, saying ‘nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah!’ before blowing a horribly big raspberry at Mich, who by then had turned six shades of purple.
“You two are in for sixteen flavors of holy old hell when I catch you!” she roared.
“Yeah, but you know what? You gotta catch us first!” With a giant whoop Nev leaped through the hole in the wall and took off across the lawn, Nameh following close behind.
“Nev! Are you nuts?!” Nameh shouted.
“Yes! I’m nuts! When that pop machine blew up it’s like everything became clear!” Nev laughed crazily as they ducked into the stables.
“What now?” Nameh asked.
Nev went over to his horse’s stall and yanked open the door. His mount—an enormously tall horse by the name of Macguyver—stood placidly within, saddled and bridled.
“Wow,” Nameh commented as he open his horse’s stall, finding his appaloosa to be tacked also. “It’s like they knew we were coming.”
“No, I knew you were coming,” a voice said. The two turned to see Captain Dolen, Deidre’s Micky Dolenz cavalry officer.
“See, Nam,” Nev said, heaving himself up into the saddle, “after you woke me up I sent GC down here to tell him to have our horses ready. Thanks, Dodo old boy.”
“You’re welcome,” Dolen said amiably. “Next time, though, don’t call me Dodo.”
Nev was about to say “Okay, Dodo,” when he saw Mich launching herself through the doors.
“Nameh! Come on!” Nameh struggled onto his horse’s back and they raced out through the barn’s back door.
Nev and Nameh did not spend as much time riding as Mich did, but they were proficient enough to thunder across the back pasture. Nev, who suddenly seemed to have gained the confidence that only Mich possessed, jumped over the back fence—which stood a mere three inches shorter than the average Davy clone. Nameh took what Mich called ‘the coward’s way out,’ as he kicked open the gate and rode through it. He hazarded a backwards glance and paled; Mich was roaring towards them on her own horse, a small yet swift chestnut mare named Mandy.
They escaped into the tangled trails that criss-crossed the heavy woods. Over two hundred yards distant, the Library was visible for a few moments before the dense branches obscured it.
This is nuts, Nameh thought. We can’t outrun Mich forever—sooner or later we’ll have to go home. She will notice if we’re never seen again. Nameh was a firm believer in the power of forgiveness; after all, Mich had forgiven her ‘twins’ many times over for their mischief.
So with the Peter Tork naivete that had remained undiluted through the massive clone order that had produced him, he reined his horse to a halt and turned, waiting docilely for Mich.
Nev was further down the path when he heard Nameh’s high-pitched scream; Macguyver’s hind hooves dug deeply into the soft ground as Nev drew back the reins. He whipped around in time to see Mich take a flying leap off her horse and tackle Nameh, sending both of them crashing into the dirt.
“Down, pItaq,” a deep voice commanded. Nev did not have to turn around to know that the voice belonged to Kreytok—Mich’s intimidating hybrid Klingon clone.
“You gotta catch me, Ha’DIBah,” he sneered, digging his heels once more into his horse’s sides. He got perhaps four or five strides away when something snaked around his waist and yanked him from Macguyver’s back; he crashed heavily to the ground and lay there, gasping for breath with a pair of lungs that refused to work.
“I have caught you, and now you are down,” Kreytok murmured without even a hint of amusement. He yanked the long bolo-like whip free from Nev’s waist and tucked it back into his long robe. He reached down and seized Nev by the scruff of the neck, hauling the skinny clone upright.
“When did you get back, anyway? I thought you were gone until tonight.”
Kreytok grunted. “I came back early,” was all he would say.
Nev allowed Kreytok to propel him down the path to where Mich stood guard over a cowering, dirt-covered Nameh. If it had been Mich pushing and prodding him instead of the glowering Klingon, Nev might have been inclined to make a break for it; however, in many ways Kreytok intimidated him even more than Mich, so the thought did not even occur to him.
“What the hell did you two think you were doin’?” Mich demanded as soon as Nev was close enough to see the whites of her furious green eyes.
Nev and Nameh shared a brief, perplexed look. “What do you mean?” Nameh asked timidly. “You saw the Pepsi machine—well, what’s left of it, anyway.”
“Do you two even have enough brains between you to realize what you’ve done?”
Nev raised an eyebrow. “We blew up a Pepsi machine, Mich. What’s the big deal?”
Mich rounded on him, reaching out as if to strangle him, then seemed to think better of it. As troublesome as he might be, Nev had still been Mich’s first clone, and—though wild horses would not have been able to drag the admission from her—her favorite clone.
“That Pepsi machine was the only place in the whole dang Library where I could get my Dr. Pepper. Do you have any idea what it’s like to try and write without it?”
Nev cocked his head in confusion. Mich made it sound like a drug fix or something.
“No, of course not! You guys have your own bachelor pad and you come and go as you please! I’m the one who’s going to have to deal with Maddy when she sees the damage! You blew a hole in the wall big enough to drive the Monkeemobile through!”
Nev shrugged. “Yeah. It was great, though.”
“Oh, for cryin’—” Mich began, resisting the urge to tear her hair out.
“You cannot reason with him,” Kreytok said sternly.
“I guess not,” Mich muttered. “But you guys are gonna have to answer to Madame.” She grinned with an evil sort of satisfaction at the panic that sprang to the twins’ faces. No one who witnessed Madame’s temper ever wanted to be on the receiving end of it.
With the heavy weight of doom forcing their shoulders into a defeated slump, Nev and Nameh, whose brief triumph was now almost forgotten, allowed Mich and Kreytok to push them down the trail back to the Library, their horses trailing behind.
Cin was standing at the Library’s front door, waiting for them. “You guys are in deep shit, you know,” she said, smiling grimly. “Maddy almost had a heart attack when she saw that hole.”
Nev paled. He had always liked Madame; her status as a Nezhead meant that she was nice to most of the Nez clones—which included Nev. “Really? Is she okay?”
Mich closed her eyes briefly. “It’s a figure of speech, Nev.”
“Yeah,” Cin said. “You’re lucky that she’s agreed to let you back in; next time you pull a stunt like this you’ll find yourselves sleeping in an alley in Trotondown.”
Nameh fought tears. “We’re sorry, guys. We didn’t mean any harm.”
Somehow Mich could not bring herself to yell at him. “You never mean any harm, Nameh, yet you two still manage to wreak havoc everywhere you go. I’m not gonna lecture or scream at the two of you—it doesn’t do any good, anyway. What you are going to do is repair that hole you made, and you’re going to install another of those machines so that I can get my Dr. Pepper in time for my next writing jag.”
“Another machine?” Nev wailed. “Those things must weigh three hundred pounds!”
“Four hundred,” Kreytok rumbled. “You can consider yourselves lucky that I’m not doling out punishment.”
“This isn’t about punishment, Kreytok,” Mich said. “It’s about taking responsibility. If you guys want to go blowing things up you have to learn to take accountability for any damage you do.”
Nev’s eyes brightened. “You mean we still get to blow things up?”
“Here’s the deal—you want to blow something up, you have to go outside the Library. No more explosions within, got it? Now get in there and get spackling.”
“Yuck! Nameh, would you be more careful, man? That’s the third time!” Nev wiped a large globule of white paint from his forehead and continued varnishing the side panel of the new bookshelf. Nameh was on a ladder, slathering white paint over the brand new plaster. No one who looked at the wall would be able to tell that there had once been an enormous hole there; nevertheless, Nameh knew, and that was enough for him.
“Hey, Nev!” he said brightly. “How about this for our next project? Spam!”
Nev sighed—Nameh was having another ‘slow’ spot. “Nah . . . it’s been done.”
THE END
Back to Clonefic Main Page
Back to Mich's Universe
