Adventures with Mikey
Episode 2: Worship Me Like An Idol
"Dammit, we're out of milk!," Brian shouted. He was already having a bad morning. The water in the shower was cold, his favorite shirt needed to be washed and pressed, and now there was no milk for his cornflakes.
"Oh yeah," Mikey said, "I used it up last night when I made my giant bowl of chocolate pudding."
"WHAT??," Brian said, "You used up all the milk on PUDDING??? I just bought milk the other day!"
"Sorry," Mikey replied, paying more attention to his video game than Brian.
"You didn't even write it down on the grocery list!," Brian yelled.
"So...?," Mikey replied.
"Well, you're going to have to go out and buy some more milk," Brian said like a parent to a misbehaving child.
"Right now?," Mikey whined, "I'm on the verge of beating this game."
"Well that's why they made the save function," Brian said as Mikey mocked him while he wasn't looking.
Rivers walked in the room as the conversation unfolded. "Hey Mikey, since you're going out, could you pick up some things for me, too?," he asked.
"Yeah, whatever," Mikey said getting up and heading out the door.
As Mikey headed down the street, he noticed this really hot girl standing in this really long line. He decided to go up and talk to her.
"Hey, babe, what's going on here?," he asked her.
"Oh, like, I'm just, like, auditioning for, like, this show. It's, like, called American Idol. I, like, can't believe you, like, never heard of it," she said.
"Oh yeah, I've heard of it... yeah...," Mikey said, trying to think of what show she was talking about.
"I'm, like, going to be on, like, TV. Like, ohmigod, I am, like, going to be famous," the girl continued.
The girl seemed quite dense, but Mikey didn't care. SHE WAS HOT!!! "Maybe I can bang her after her audition," he thought. He continued listening to her useless chatter in hopes that he could at least get a telephone number out of her.
A long amount of time had passed. Mikey had almost fallen asleep listening to the girl go on and on. Eventually, they had reached the front of the line and some guy was yelling at him.
"HEY YOU!," the man said loudly, "GET YOUR ASS IN HERE IF YOU WANT TO AUDITION!!!"
Before Mikey could respond, the people behind him shoved him into the building. He unwillingly filled out all kinds of forms and lied about his age, saying he was 25. After doing so, he looked around for the girl he was talking to, but she was nowhere to be found.
Mikey was escorted into a room. "What will you be performing?," a young woman asked him.
"Ummm..." Mikey was put on the spot. He had no clue what to do. "I will be performing 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' by Cyndi Lauper." The girl gave Mikey a funny look and escorted him into another room and sarcastically wished him luck.
Mikey walked into the room. "OH MY GOD! It's Paula Abdul!," Mikey shouted.
"Thank you, sweetie, but would you sing for us?," Paula asked Mikey.
"Anything for you, Paula," Mikey said. He broke out into his rendition of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" as he started dancing around the room with sexual motions. He gave Paula a sexy stare as he completed his routine.
"Yo! Yo Dawg! That was interesting... Dawg, maybe you should consider changing your repetoire 'cuz you're a Dawg, not a girl," said Randy.
"You're really cute," Paula said, "but I think you need to get a new song and practice a little bit more. You have great potential, you took some risks, and you have this provocative streak that I like. Come back next time with a little bit more practice and a song that better fits you and your personality."
"I love you Paula," Mikey said.
"I know," Paula replied.
"Well I know I never want to see you here ever again," Simon interrupted, "That was dreadful. You are not fit to be an idol. I've never seen anything more horrid in my life."
Mikey, with his feelings hurt, hung his head as he walked out the door. Before he left, however, he had to say one more thing. "Paula, can I have your number?," he asked.
"I don't think so," she said, as security men finally drug Mikey out of the building.
"Dammit," Mikey said as he walked down the street to the store, "I lost out against two babes today."
A couple months later...
"Yo, Yo Dawg!," Pat yelled as he ran into the house, jumped on the couch and turned on the TV. "It's time for a new season of American Idol."
"Since when have you been interested in reality-based, talent show programming?," Brian asked.
"Since whenever," he replied. "Besides, Randy cracks me up with all his 'dawg' speak. I wonder what he sounds like when he's ordering a hot dog... Yo dawg! Give me a hot dog, dawg!"
Brian rolled his eyes but then reluctantly looked at the screen. "Who is that?," Brian asked.
"Dude, that's Paula Abdul. Remember her? You know, 'Coldhearted Snake.' Hot isn't she?," Scott said, entering the room and looking at the television.
"No," Brian said, "I'm talking about the contestant. He looks an awful lot like --"
"-- Hey guys, what's up?," Mikey interrupted as he strolled in the room.
Brian did a double take, as did Pat and Scott. "Mikey, is that you?," Brian asked.
Mikey looked at the television. "Well, what do you know? It is me. I didn't think they put the bad ones on TV...," he said.
"You met Paula Abdul," Scott said, "and you didn't tell me?"
"Dude, you're on TV!," Pat added, "Normally it's me that's always on TV. Finally, I think the curse has been broken."
"We should be taping this," Scott said.
"Shhhhh...," Brian said, "I want to hear."
They all intently watched Mikey make a fool out of himself on national television.
"You picked 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'? You're such an idiot! Surely, you could have picked something better to sing," Brian said.
"Man, you've got to be proud of yourself. You invaded our television space. Way to go!," Pat said.
"I can't believe it... You met Paula Abdul...," Scott said.
"I can't believe they didn't find you out," Brian said, "You're obviously overage for this escapade. Not to mention, you were our bassist. You'd think somebody would have recognized you..."
Mikey just shrugged. "Hey stuff like that happens, I guess..."
"YOU met PAULA ABDUL," Scott said.
"Yes, Scott, I did. She was fine, man," Mikey said.
"I've had enough of this," Brian said, "I'm going to my room."
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Mikey added. "Can I join you?," he asked winking at Brian.
"Ummm... okay..., but I'm just going to watch a DVD or something. I suppose you can join me," Brian said hesitantly.
"Yay!," Mikey said, giving Brian a hug.
"You really can get off me," Brian said, dragging Mikey to his room.
"Wait!," Scott quickly turned around and yelled, "Mikey! Did you get Paula's number?"
