Some People Are So Quotable
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Compiled by Karen Marie Pelto
[new 12/15/99]
"I don't need alcohol to be dumb."
Suzie Armstrong
"Every song has people who don't know it."
Karen Pelto
"Not everything has a name. Some things lead us into a realm beyond words."
Alexander Solzhenitsyn
"If God really has a master plan for the world, I hope I'm not in charge of towels."
Nick DeCamp (more here)
"There are two types of people in the world, and I'm one of them."
Dave Barry
"It is neither safe nor honest to go against one's conscience.
Here I stand, I cannot do otherwise."
Martin Luther
"Who exactly are these people who drink 8 glasses of water per day
and are the health/skin benefits really worth all the extra peeing?"
Amy Krouse Rosenthal (more here)
"We get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds."
Robin Williams as [?] in "Good Will Hunting"
"I didn't realize he was mooshy."
Don Pelto
"Live people tend to ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am
strange and unusual."
Winona Ryder as Lydia in "Beetlejuice"
"These are not my pants."
(song lyric) (that's most of the song) Five Iron Frenzy
"I'll hit you in the head so hard it'll make fish swim up your underwear."
Don Pelto
"When I'm drunk, I start quoting Shakespeare."
Don Pelto
"I'm trying to find a word for what you did to that apple."
Some guy
"Well if he's so smart, how come he ate all that fertilizer?"
movie quote (What movie is this from? Does anyone know?)
"I only do table dances for tips."
Brenda Jean Carlson
"We have a metal detector, so anything on your body can and will
be used against you in a court of law."
Jeremy Piven as [?] in "Just Write"
"Since [Bethel College] got the gate, we are so totally much better."
Mee Thao
"As soon as you pucker up your lips, you're just not lookin' manly anymore."
Mike Wielinski
"Opera should never be done in English. Because opera is dumb."
Some lady
"I can multiply, but I can't abstract!"
Zippy the Pinhead
"Can I slap you?" Karen Pelto
"Not anymore." Don Pelto
"I am one of the biggest advocates you'll find for the sedimentary lifestyle."
Mee Thao
"Do you wanna see my bear?"
Andy Bethke
FROM THE QUOTE BOARD
--------------------
I think I'm going through menopause. [male]
It was the toothpaste's fault!
I like Skinner better than [Krycek and Mulder]. [male]
Let's taunt God!
It's the cactus God-head.
Where the hell are the freaking Puritans?
Kick her all you want; she's dead!
History is a strange set of accidents.
If you have to pee, ask Suzie.
I'm turning into a girl. I'm getting all weepy
I could just hit you and we could call it a high five.
What am I touching?
I've never been excited enough to take off my shirt.
They must think I'm nocturnal.
She's gonna lick me!
It's crappy, but it sings.
There are eggs in my purse.
Hear, O Lizard...
I have a bag of small gerbils in my truck.
Suzie, you left teeth marks.
I'm not a mammal!
That's not old; that's just rounding up.
Wine should not have a head.
Hey! Let go of my face!
I smell like a walking crayon factory.
Like, hysterosalpingooopherectomy is one of my favorite words.
It's okay. I have monks.
--------------------
[old]
[but still fun]
"Actually, I just like to SAY 'smock.'"
Hobbes, Calvin and Hobbes
"I got underwear older than you."
Jim Allen
"O, how full of briars is this working-day world!"
Rosalind in "As You Like It"
"I'm not going to use my fingers to eat soup."
Kira Sutherland
"If you're trying to start a weird face contest, you won a long time ago."
Karen Pelto
"I let my mind wander and it didn't come back."
Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
"I floss once in awhile for fun."
Don Pelto
"You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty!"
Ariel, The Little Mermaid
"I didn't recognize him without his hair."
Mrs. Margerie Weisman
"I know that's really immature but....... so?"
Don Pelto
"Amoebas are very small."
Song lyric, The Incredible String Band
"I will not buy this month's selection; it is scratched."
Don Pelto
"I make a good cop, but I make an even better sandwich."
Some TV guy
"When they're all done, they push the houses back together."
Don Pelto
"When I said 'wineglass,' I meant 'duck.'"
Karen Pelto
"I hope it doesn't burst into flames."
Carol Pelto
"The poodles of the Serengeti!"
Matt Fischer
"Never underestimate your earrings."
Anna Ferguson
"I have some very interesting colored phlegm."
Matt Fischer
"God bless you and everything and da-DA."
Nate Schultz
"There's my shoe!"
Julia Howard
"Don't question October. She's fickle."
Karen Pelto
"You're not old enough to know what true love is. You know how I know?
Because I'm not old enough to know what true love is."
Alicia Juarez
"Drama is life with the dull bits left out."
Alfred Hitchcock
"Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot."
Dave Barry
"Those guys aren't for knowing, they're just for looking at."
Carmen Graumann
"Sit in goose poop; bond with nature."
Katie Miller
"I love deodorant."
Andrea Maynard
"It's not really acting unless you turn purple."
Mike Lawyer
"Oh good! The curtains are on fire!"
Marge Simpson, the Simpsons
"I'm the weirdest guy on campus."
Matt Sauer
"Alcohol opens the mind."
Blaine Soderholm
"I've had three people lick my eyeball."
Shawna Olson
"I'm so stuck up."
Meredith McKewn
"Twinkies aren't fruit!" Karen Pelto
"Well, not FRESH fruit." Carol Pelto
"Have you ever tried to unlock something with a Post-It® Note?"
Nelly Nehring
"What kind of rocks interest you, Sarah?"
Dr. Debra Reece
"Wedgie wedgie wedgie wedgie wedgie wedgie."
Steve Johanson
"I forgot my thumb."
Mee Thao
"I'm so glad I have clothes on."
Carol Pelto
"Hate a play for the right reasons."
Dr. Thomas Olson
"I believe the Holy Spirit is as real as my Physics exam tomorrow."
Muaj Lo
"Phlegm is the body's natural defense against squirrels."
Don Pelto
"Vanilla Ice is my grandfather."
Wendy Weisman
"There's a lake here. You gotta expect some water in the air."
Don Pelto
"Target and Wal-Mart are pretty much the same, except there is no difference."
Don Pelto
"This desk set wants to fly."
from "Dead Poets Society"
"Never play hide-and-seek with a bug."
Don Pelto
"It doesn't matter where your medicine falls;
as long as it doesn't fall down your bra strap, you're okay."
Cindy-Marianne Francois
"It happens to the best of us."
Mee Thao (referring to farting)
"I found my tumor."
Carmen Graumann
"PUT ME DOWN!! I'M THE R.A.!"
Isaac Terwiliger
"I always grow on buses."
Alisa Zubert
"Richard Lewis isn't as bad as that guy
that dresses all in black and does neurotic comedy."
Don Pelto
"Nothing is stranger than a Christian."
Dr. Randy Nelson
"What are you looking at me through?" Karen Pelto
"A bucket?" Stephanie Lambrides
"As long as you don't paint my name on a rock I'll know you still like me."
Carmen Graumann
"Instead of a baked potato, can I have more silverware?"
Don Pelto
"Cows In The Median world tour!!"
Barbara Hess and Karen Pelto's great idea
"Just pretend you're a Christmas present."
Natalie Bergwall
"We need His strong love and strange peace."
Song lyric, Lost and Found
"Thinking is bad."
Nate Streeter
"That would sound better with a calliope."
Don Pelto and Karen Pelto
"The shortest distance between two points is over the couch."
Karen Pelto
"We all need a little ceiling painting now and then."
Ryan Kron
"[In her sleep] she was singing the star-spangled banner."
Song Vang
"I have a towel!"
Angela Mueller
"Dat mumma spilled my number juice!"
Janine Rajala
"My watch is not a time bomb."
Karen Pelto
"You pilfered my phrase!"
Rebekah Berger
"You can't hate what you didn't try."
Karen Pelto
"We were not kind of confused; we were totally lost."
Katie Geragi
"I'm almost completely certain that bologna sandwiches don't go 'crunch'."
Karen Pelto
"I was thinking of being a meat-packing bus driver who was in the performing arts."
Brett Otteson
"Don't pick at your food; it'll never heal!"
Julia Howard
"Beware of people who eat squirrels."
Not-A-Becca Molstad
"Are you whistling in German or in English?"
Carol Pelto
"Cats don't really have wallets."
George Carrol
"We all find time to do what we really want to do."
William Feather
"That's right on the bunny!"
Nate Something
"You don't reinvent the wheel each time you do a problem."
Mr. Muetzel
"I am a funky bear."
Ted D. Bear
"Eat a mitten."
Karen Pelto
"Polynomials are your friends."
Mrs. Marlys Henke
"Opportunity knocks until you answer the door, then it hides in a nearby bush."
Kira Sutherland
"The more you know, the more you know you don't know."
Paul Niemi
"I thought you were wrong before, but now you are so wrong,
that compared to this, you were right."
Some TV guy
"Oh my golly!"
Natalie Hoyle
"I can fall down and get my feet stuck
in a snowbank above my head at the same time."
Ginger Lindgren
"What seemed to be tens of thousands of years of torment
was actually but a few hours."
Jeremy Kittleson
"It's not like I'm randomly pasting newspaper articles all over my clothing."
Madeline Lohman
"Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them."
Lord Chesterfield
"Nice moose. Why isn't your clock working?"
Katie Geragi
"GUAM!"
Rebecca Molstad
"I'm a figment of my own imagination today."
Ginger Lindgren
"I'll think of you every time I play with my brain."
Wendy Weisman
"I feel like such a blonde."
Dietra Myers
"If I were an aphid, I'd go around strangling all the other aphids."
Mee Thao
"That's not difficult, just illegal."
Don Pelto
"If it were Christmas Eve, you'd be opening Christmas presents tonight."
Steve Brooks
"Welsh is a language that always looks like you're typing with your forehead."
James Lileks
"I'm sorry, I thought I was French and Existentialist."
Steve Brooks
"I have two feet and bus fare. I'm gonna get there."
Katie Geragi
"Cows really should wear shoes."
Dr. Brian Turnquist
"There are a lotta numbers out there... A lotta numbers."
Dr. Brian Turnquist
"Sometimes, all you can say is, 'That's kinda neat.'"
Bob Goebel
"We blocked off half a block for this dumb ad."
Steve Michels-Boyce
"Don't touch the fridge without shoes on."
Daniel Guiterriez
"If there were a pantheist over there [pointing to one side of the room]
and a panentheist over there [pointing to the other side of the room]
they'd both throw Nerf® balls at me."
Dr. Roger E. Olson
"Reality treats us roughly."
Dr. Roger E. Olson
"Argue with each other. That's fun."
Dr. Roger E. Olson
"Caution: Hot plate may be hot."
Sign in room FA204, Bethel College
"Go into the dumpster, find something, paint on it."
Dale Johnson
"You can just run around and jump and do silly things."
Dale Johnson
"I'll make up things that people say in Spanish.
And I don't speak Spanish, so it should be pretty interesting."
Dale Johnson
"Everybody here has a motorcycle."
Dale Johnson
"Stereotypes are of no value but maybe they're helpful."
Dale Johnson
"If one of you got up on your desk and started undressing,
we would become quite concerned."
Dr. Leta Frazier
"Have you ever tried to carry a third-grader?"
Dr. Leta Frazier
"I have to put 'Bother the cat' on my to-do list."
Don Pelto
"Why am I carrying a potato sideways?"
Melissa Dingfield
"I don't take orders from midgets."
Karen Pelto
"Even though they are a major corporation, [United Airlines] probably has hit men."
Andrew Jornod
"I think we agree that Jerry Springer is not meant for a first-grade audience."
Dr. Michael Dreher
"If you raise your kids right, they can watch all sorts of crap on TV
and still be a normal child."
Derick Lyngholm
"So many people misunderstand theology that I wrote a book!"
Dr. Roger E. Olson
"It's dead, but it still beeps."
Steve Michels-Boyce, on Tamagotchi
"You don't need a watch in Hawaii."
Dr. C. Wayne Hensley
"I thought maybe the rapture happened and we all got left!"
Dr. Roger E. Olson, after some REALLY blank stares
"I had never seen fire come out of a computer before...."
Dr. Brian Turnquist
"A big part of being creative is making stuff up."
Bob Goebel
"A mathematician is a machine that converts coffee into theorems."
Dr. Brian Turnquist
"She's saltwater; I'm freshwater."
Karen Pelto
"I didn't mean to kill her; really I didn't!"
Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz"
"People are people where-ever you put them."
Dr. C. Wayne Hensley
"Is God a fruit?"
Dr. Roger E. Olson
"Remind me never to borrow that mug."
Stephanie Lambrides
"She's never dead."
Joel Hummel
"I am so not left-handed, it's scary."
Stephanie Lambrides
"I don't know why priests wore a special kind of underwear."
Dr. Mark Reasoner
"The spark plug goes back to the spark plug warehouse."
Dr. Mark Reasoner, on the Stoic belief of life after death
"And so I thought, 'RRRRR!'"
Dr. Mark Reasoner
"Psalm 110 is like a big amoeba."
Dr. Mark Reasoner
"Can you give me a chapter [number]?" (Holding up 3 fingers and waving)
Dr. Mark Reasoner
"Be careful... Your audience might agree with you."
Dr. Gary Noggle
"I don't have time to be patient."
Mee Thao
"Isn't it astounding what you can do with junk?"
Dr. John Benham
"LOOK AT YOUR TEXT! You can drink coffee *and* look at your text."
Dr. Mark Reasoner
"I am culture."
Jim Bear
"Bells don't get old. They just sit there."
Jim Bear
"Stinky guys can smell and still be attractive. Stinky girls... ugh."
Cindy-Marianne Francois
(The views expressed by Cindy-Marianne are strictly those of Cindy-Marianne and not those of this compiler,
Angelfire, or anyone else in the known universe.)
"The weirdest but good things happen to us."
Carmen Graumann
"I am confined by furniture."
Brenda Jean Carlson
"Guys aren't interested in what color your toenails are."
Don Pelto
"We were sailing along/ On Moonlight Bay/ You could hear the prepositions..."
Don Pelto
"Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world is insanity."
David Duchovny as Fox Mulder in "The X-Files"
"Some things are true whether you want them to be or not."
Nicolas Cage as Seth the Angel in "City of Angels"
RANDOM INTERNET QUOTES
----------------------
All reports are now in. Life is officially unfair.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It was so different before everything changed.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
----------------------
"It's a crazy world. Someone should sell tickets."
from "Raising Arizona"
"I'm speaking my own language and *I* understand it."
Bill Murray
To delete or correct a quote, to submit a quote for adding to this list,
or to ask about the story behind any of these quotes, e-mail Karen.
The address is on one of these pages somewhere.
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