Chapter Four: Breakdown

Jordan sat on her bed and let out a deep sigh, her summer had taken a sudden turn for the worst. She decided to call Taylor. She slowly picked up the reciever and dialed the number. "Hello?" "Ike? Is Taylor home?" "No, he's out shopping with Zac and my mom." He replied. Jordan felt tears well up in her eyes, she was silent for a moment and then she bursted with emotion. She broke down. "Is something wrong?" he asked. Jordan proceeded to tell him the whole story about the divorce and her mother. Isaac consoled her, until Andy came in the room. "Are you talking to that little queer?" He asked, she peered at him, angrily. Her vision was blurry. "Andy NOT NOW!" she screamed. he stormed out of the room. "Isaac I have to go." She said flatly, "Call me if you need anything." he stated. She hung the phone up and went downstairs.

"I hope your proud of yourself." Andy said apathetically. why is he being this way? At a time like this!? she thought to herself as she stared coldly at him. "We have to get through this, ok? Without arguing!" she said quietly. He just glared at her, and raised his voice, "ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THAT LITTLE GROUP HANSON AND YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND, TAYLOR!" She couldn't take it anymore, that was the last straw.

Jordan sat in her room and put on her Sarah McLachlan CD. "I feel like I am sinking and I claw for solid ground, I'm pulled down by the undertoe, I never thought I could feel this low, and oh darkness I feel like letting go." The word drifted in her head. She peered into her mirror and watched as tears ran down her face. She walked slowly to the bathroom and opened up the medicine cabinent. A bottle of sleeping pills that were for her step dad was still there from the previous year. She grabbed them and went back to her room.

Jordan opened the bottle and dumped it's content on to her floral comforter. 10 small blue tablets stared back up at her. She took all ten of them and popped them into her mouth. "This is it." she said as she took a sip of water. She went to track 7 on her CD...and the words rang out, "spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it ok, there's always some reason to not feel good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day, I need some distraction... ohh beautiful release, memory seeps from my veins, let me be empty oh and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight in the arms of an angel fly away from here..." Suddenly she felt hot and she began to shake vigorously, her body was sweating all over. Her vision blurred... then the blackness came...

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