Photo courtesy of Indiana Beach
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"Mark, this is so your kind of park, you're going to love Indiana
Beach!" Words never rang more true. Of all the parks I've visited this year, none have surprised or delighted me more than Indiana Beach. I kept hearing comments like "this is your park" and "this park is exactly the kind of place you'll love" but really, I hadn't heard very much as to the reasons why! I knew it was situated in a godforsaken part of Indiana's corn country, so I figured it's location was the reason not many enthusiasts talked much about it. I also knew the Hoosier Hurricane was not a highly rated roller-coaster, so I assumed that had something to do with it as well. But I am not a coaster enthusiast so much as I am a park goer. I love riding roller-coasters as much as the next guy, but if a park is run poorly, or has terrible ride operations, or is a constant source of frustration for its guests, chances are I am not going to be in any hurry to return, regardless of how much I like their coaster. Consequently I tend to favor visiting traditional parks, primarily because the park experience is so much more pleasant. Prices are more reasonable, lines tend to be shorter, park policies are not as restrictive, and the attitude of both employees and guests tends to be more relaxed. There's a lack of hassle involved in traditional parks, and I tend to look for that quality a lot whenever I choose which parks to visit. For some reason, though, I never had much of a desire to visit Indiana Beach. As I said, the lack of discussion by enthusiasts made me think it was somehow boring. I got the impression that it was an okay park, but not something you would want to go out of your way for. As a matter of fact we almost didn't go again this year - we had planned to stay at Michigan's Adventures a second day up until just two or three days before our trip! What turned things around for us was Cornball Express. First of all, has there ever been a coaster that generated less interest among enthusiasts during its construction? I don't think *anyone* expected this thing to be any good. Consequently when I spoke to Michael Graham, who attended a sneak preview and he told me that Cornball Express was an amazingly fun airtime machine that was going to shock a lot of people, I didn't know what to think! Michael is a good guy and I'd like to trust his opinion, but is it possible he's on drugs? Could an intervention be on his horizon? I told Cindy what Michael said and would she want to skip the second day riding Shivering Timbers at Michigan's Adventure and take a side trip down to Indiana Beach? Now we'd driven through the state of Indiana before, a mind-numbing, lobotomy-inducing experience that neither of us would care to repeat unless we're running from the law. However, the park is located in the northwestern part of the state, so it's possible the drive could be made somewhat tolerable. Cindy, who had been to the park once before, is pretty much game for anything and said "Sure! I love Indiana Beach!" "You do?" "YES!," she said incredulously. "You're going to love it!" Well why the heck hasn't somebody told me that before? We left Muskegon around 10 o'clock and began the long, long road to Monticello. The drive through Michigan isn't so bad, but boy, you can sure tell when you get into Indiana. We saw a sign advertising the "Best barn pizza in the country!" And we found a way to combat the boredom - we held a contest to see who could spot the most yardballs. The contest was then extended to include tacky lawn ornaments in general. Why do people feel the urge to purchase stone geese and then dress them up in all kinds of weird outfits? What does it mean? Are they insane? We also came up with a new item to market, equally vulgar but just as sure to be a big seller: yardfeathers! Put a big ole neon colored ostrich feather on a stone pedestal and watch it wave back and forth in the wind. Yardfeathers, only $19.99 at your local Wal-Mart, K-Mart and Cosco. Finally we reached Monticello. Cindy pulled me down from my chair and gently removed the noose around my neck. When I came to I found us in a parking lot with no visible sign of an amusement park at all. We got out and walked to a bridge and suddenly there was the park, on its own little island, all spread out before us. OOOOOHHH!!!! YAY!!!! This is charming! An exciting, adorable boardwalk amusement park right in the heart of Indiana! Who knew? As we crossed the bridge and the park slowly started to unfold, I finally realized what people had been saying. This IS my kind of park! It is absolutely my kind of park! If I were going to design a park, this is what it would look like! I look at parks with four things in mind - coasters, rides, food and atmosphere. It's very rare for a park to excel in all four categories. But Indiana Beach does. Let's look at atmosphere. You simply cannot beat a boardwalk amusement park for atmosphere. The place just naturally lends itself to fun! And because space on the boardwalk is obviously limited, many rides and attractions are piled one on top of another, giving the park an extremely informal, time-to-cut-loose feel. The minute I set foot on that boardwalk I felt excited and ready to party! One of the most charming things about this park is that while some of the rides are intertwined, many of the flat rides have their own individual pier out on the water. The piers are even decorated with flower boxes on the side - as if the pier alone weren't cool enough, they had to go and make it even more charming! There are also lots of little hidden treasures here - avenues and entrances into areas of the park you didn't even know existed. I just love it when a park unfolds on you like this, where you turn a corner and go "oh look! a haunted house!" (as if I'd ever say that, but more on that later). There are so many little areas at Indiana Beach that the place feels both huge and very intimate all at the same time. It's a very unique atmosphere and one that I find irresistable. Joining Cindy and I on this day for various rides and pigouts were Paul and Carrie Drabek, Jeff Cook, Mike Overell, Glenn Payne, Steve Love, Tim Melago, Dave Sandborg, Dave and Kim Thomas, Janna Rasmussen and her boyfriend Tim, and Fred Biedermann and his friend Neils. There are a fair share of rednecks here. One woman, who couldn't have been a day over 68, slinked around the park wearing a gray wifebeater with the words "I Judged the Hot Male Buns Contest at Club 41." Rides - as I already mentioned, each ride is situated on its own pier. There are so many great rides here I couldn't possibly list them all, but there are a few that deserve special mention. The flying swings - holy cow, you actually swing out over the water! The ferris wheel - you couldn't ask for a more perfect ferris wheel. The view is simply awesome and Cindy and I spent quite a lot of time picking out our houses from the wonderful resort homes that rest along the shoreline. The sky ride - this is SO much fun! There are so few skyrides left in American parks, and this one is perfect. It is so exciting to travel over everything and everyone in the park! The Tilt-a-Whirl - this is one of my favorite flat rides and the tilt-a-whirl here is very good! The Double shot - I had never ridden one of these before and it was a blast - literally! My legs flew out from under me each time we changed direction. There should be more of these in every park! I also liked the way they had the little Frog Hopper next to the ride. It was nice because the Drabeks got to watch Bond riding while the adults took their own ride. If I were a little kid I'd be happy to be riding right alongside the grownups! There are also three - count 'em - THREE dark rides at Indiana Beach! For me this is what makes a park great. Too many parks either don't have a dark ride or have taken theirs out. Indiana Beach has three and they provide something for everybody. One is a mountain ride that feels very much like a coaster! It's very much on the cheesy side with scenes of animals inside the mountain. It's very fun nonetheless and is something the whole family could enjoy. There's also a shoot em up dark ride! This is called the Den of Lost Thieves and is, I think, the first installation of Sally dark rides. I *love* these type of interactive dark rides, I think they're the best thing parks have installed outside of roller-coasters. Unfortunately there was something wrong with my gun - I only got 10 points! Now I'm telling you I am NOT THAT BAD! I shot 2270 on Ghost Hunt at Lake Compounce, so don't tell me I have no aim! Meanwhile, Sure Shot Cindy is hitting everything in sight! The last dark ride is Frankenstein's Castle. Ohhhh, now I do not like Haunted Houses. And I *really* do not like Haunted Houses that you have to walk through. So it was with great trepidation (and more than a little peer pressure from my "friends") that I agreed to go through Frankenstein's Castle. And the scary thing is that I PAID to do it! As it turned out I survived, though not without Fred's stupid friend Neils trying to scare me half to death by touching me. And I will say that as haunted houses go, this one was very good - and very dark! Coasters - I think the addition of Cornball Express just *makes* this park. Without it I think the park would feel like it was missing the major coaster attraction every park needs to be considered among the top parks in the country. But now that it's there, and in spite of the park's insistence on labelling it a family coaster, this park is MAJOR. Cornball Express is the real deal - Michael isn't on dope! This coaster packs all kinds of thrills into a very tight layout. The ending is breathtaking and feels like the wooden equivalent of Superman: Ride of Steel. I just a love a good ending! And I cannot even measure how much I love those PTC buzz bars! If anybody needs proof that this park knows what it's doing, consider how long it's been since buzz bars were put on a coaster! Major kudos to Indiana Beach for doing this coaster right! Hoosier Hurricane is not a great thrill ride, but to me it has the distinction of being the prettiest coaster I've seen. It's waterfront setting and white wood out and back layout could not be more classic. And what a treat it was to take the train ride running right alongside the coasters tracks! The people we were with seemed to rag on the Galaxi coaster, saying it was rough and boring. I couldn't disagree more. Where is it rough!? I *love* Galaxi coasters. Galaxis, Jet Stars, Wildcats and Zyklons make me feel like a kid in a way that no others coasters can achieve. I'm so glad we got to ride it again before the night was over. And then there's Tig'rr. I kind of fell in love with Tig'rr. Jet Star coasters are so addictive for me. I like their lightning quick turns and steep drops. Tig'rr is a very well maintained coaster - it's a pleasure to ride and very very reridable. I don't know how many times I rode this but no amount would have been enough. The only way I could like this coaster better would be if it were in my backyard! Food - WOW!!! This place speaks to me when it comes to food!!! As we were walking down the boardwalk we made mental notes of all the places were going to come back to and eat - italian sausages, barbeque, world famous tacos, pronto pups, italian ice, chicken fries, cheese popcorn, corn on the cob, all kinds of ice cream sillies, mexican, italian, ethiopian, basque.... okay, I'm exaagerating, but they did have a spanish hot dog. Everywhere you look there's food. We ordered chicken fries and ate them on a bench behind a fountain and in front of two giant tiki gods. Above the tiki gods was the Roof Lounge, an open air club on the balcony. People can go up there, have a drink, listen to a live band and enjoy a magnificent view! Right next door to that is the Skyroom Restaurant, a glass walled balcony restaurant. I didn't eat there - we chose to keep riding rather than stop to eat - but I did go inside and it's lovely. The hostess graciously gave me a menu to take home and they offer a very impressive lineup of steaks, seafood and a broad range of simple and sophisticated fare. I could have *kicked* myself when I saw what their special was for that day - chicken and noodles! One of my favorites! Stupid Mark! They were already out! I'll mention two other food items, one bad and one good. The bad, and this was the only bad thing we had, was their root beer float. The sign said their root beer came from a 40 year old receipe. Well the root beer tasted about that old, too. It actually had a very funny taste, almost the way it tastes after the ice cream has had a chance to melt and mix in with the root beer. At first it just tasted kind of funky but after awhile it just became gross! The other item I want to mention is their tacos. I had been eyeballing that sign all day - "World Famous Tacos." I was determined that, no matter how full I was, I was going to sample them. Well, at the end of the night, with a huge bag of cheese popcorn in hand, I insisted that we stop and try a taco. I got two, and so did Cindy. They looked SO good while being made, and I just knew they were going to be good. We ended up eating them out in the parking lot and all I can say is that it's a good thing because if we had been inside the park we would have rushed right back and ordered two more! They are that good - so good, in fact, that they have skyrocketed to No. 4 on my Top Ten Best Park Foods list! And it's safe to say Indiana Beach skyrocketed to my top ten as well. There is so much to this park that I barely even covered the surface. The place has a beautiful mini-golf course at the head of the peninsula (and a *gorgeous* fountain in the middle of it all!), an awesome waterpark complete with a lakefront beach, and a boat cruise. The coasters, much like the rides, the food, the atmosphere and everything else here, provide something for everyone. People of all ages and personality types can come and have an enjoyable time, however they choose to spend it. The park provides lots of choices and executes those choices well. But more than anything else, Indiana Beach has that rare quality of doing the one thing I want an amusement park to do. It takes me away to another world. The entire time we were there it never once occured to me that we were in Monticello, Indiana. And I think it's the highest praise an amusement park can receive to know that its guests felt so removed from the rest of the world.
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