Lessons Learned in Iowa

Well, I missed the exit to the last Super 8 in Missouri. Next stop, Iowa. Oh well, it's only 1:15.

Still no motels in sight. The clock strikes two and I'm still driving. Iowa is a lonely, lonely place - and that's in the daytime. At night it's an island. There's nowhere to stop and it looks like I'm going to have to go all the way to Des Moines, 2 1/2 hours from Kansas City. At 2:05 I'm cursing myself, when it suddenly occurs to me that I could learn from this experience! I have a two week coaster trip coming up in June, and I'll be doing a lot of park hopping and long distance driving. Revelation No. 1: Don't do this to yourself! Don't try to gain a head start on the next day when it's after midnight and you're tired. Especially when you're driving in unfamiliar territory. What if the car broke down? Just leave the park, drive the shortest distance to your RESERVED motel room and relax. It'll be much safer and alot less stress overall. Start your day fresh as opposed to exhausted and you'll enjoy your time on the road rather than just get through it.

Okay, that's one lesson learned. Super 8 in Des Moines is wonderful, I highly recommend it. Of course I'd recommend a bridge overpass at 3:20 a.m. Anyway, after 5 restful hours I woke up at 8:45 a.m. and decided it was time to get to know Iowa. I have been bashing this God forsaken strip of farmland since the day I moved up to the Twin Cities 12 years ago and was forced to spend 19 1/2 hours in this hellish heartland getting my overheated car repaired. I've been calling Iowa "Hell" ever since. But that's all water under the bridge now, right? Especially when we're off to Adventureland!!!

Photo courtesy of Theme Park Review

You step into Adventureland and it's like you're walking onto the set of "Back To The Future." It's fantastic! There's a nice big courtyard in the middle of this town square and framing it are brightly colored buildings from Des Moines' past. The effect is, again, very movie set-like. And it's not cheap looking either - this is a big, attractive park!

I walked the grounds for awhile and took in the atmosphere. At 10:30 the crowds hadn't arrived, but this didn't give the park an empty feeling like most parks experience. Adventureland has lots and lots of little avenues to explore, and there are plenty of places that seem perfectly fine with or without people. A large, extremely wide river meanders throughout the park, and this river is unlike any amusement park river I've seen. Large trees gracefully line the river's edges. There are gumball type machines mounted along the railings of some of the bridges and for a quarter you can purchase food to feed the ducks and geese that swim in the river. The atmosphere reminded me more of a city park than an amusement park.

But then there are the rides to remind you this ain't RiverWalk. Adventureland has over 100 rides and attractions, and even though I confined myself to the roller coasters, there are plenty of up to date flat rides here.

The first coaster I rode was the Super Screamer, which is a compact steel coaster. It reminded me a bit of CP's Wildcat, with a couple of nice drops and some airtime on two of them.

Adventureland's 3 main coasters frame the back of the park and make a pretty picture as one blends gracefully into the other. I next rode The Dragon. WOW. This is the most intense steel looper I've ever ridden. The train is very long - I didn't count the cars but I could tell right away this was definitely a back seat ride. As we left the station we dropped into two bunny hops which were actually quite fast and gave us alot of speed as we rounded to the lift. At the top of the lift I was, and I mean this in the most dramatic way possible, YANKED down that first drop and into the first verticle loop. The g-forces were incredible - I'd venture to guess 4.0 - 4.5 even. And it didn't let up after the loops, into the helix and figure eight to end the ride. I have never seen dots on a ride before and this one gave it to me on 2 of my 6 rides.

Photo courtesy of Fred Biedermann

Photo courtesy of Theme Park Review

The Tornado is a big ol out and back, and for my first ride I made the huge mistake of choosing of the back seat and putting my hands up. They quickly came down after the first drop, which sent my 5th vertebrae into my skull. The difference between the front and back and seats on Adventureland's coasters is more pronounced than any park I've been to. The front seat on The Dragon is quite tame, and you experience none of those incredibly intense g-forces you get from waaaay back in the back. But the Tornado's front seat allows you to put your hands up and experience some wonderful airtime. I loved this ride - I rode it 10 times.

The last coaster at Adventureland is The Outlaw. I believe this was CCI's first coaster! Now this thing is pure fun! It's all twists, beginning with the first drop, which is quite steep. If you get a front inside seat you'll find yourself practically lateral from the twisting first drop. There's a nice head chopper, too, where I was never able to keep my hands fully raised. I got a couple of nice moments of airtime, too. This is Adventureland's winner, right here.

Photo courtesy of Theme Park Review

One thing I really liked about Adventureland were the employees. They were all kids, and they were ALL NICE, from the ride ops to the sweeperettes to the concessionaires. None of them even approached the surly attitudes or bored beyond belief stares I've seen in some other park employees. Sure, it's early in the season (don't be so cynical!) but there was something more, something in their personalities - there are nice kids working at Adventureland, and it shows.

Revelation No. 2: I'll be just fine going to parks by myself. I was VERY worried how I would handle being alone at some of the parks I'll be visiting on my coaster trip in June. My girlfriend, Susan, can't join me until the second weekend of my trip, and I thought I'd be very lonely without her. But I had a ball today, and didn't feel the least bit self-conscious. In fact I spent some time riding with a nice middle aged blind man, and I also met a couple of 9 or 10 year old boys that liked talking to me before, during and after our rides (they are definitely future coaster enthusiasts!). Actually, there were alot of friendly people I spoke with during the 2 1/2 hours I spent there. Which brings me to

Revelation No. 3: The people of Des Moines are well bred. No, no, no, I didn't say inbred - that was before! I've changed my tune now, I'm turning over a new leaf, singing a new song. Iowans.... okay, strike that, let's not get carried away - make that Des Moinians are very, very, very nice people. They are not just friendly, they also have good manners and welcoming personalities. I'd guess I talked to over 100 people today (I can be a little chatty myself) and I didn't run into one person I wouldn't have enjoyed spending more time with. And not just single people, either! There were some very cool guys with very nice looking girls - now normally these kind of guys would have copped an attitude and spent all day trying to impress their lady friends. But at least three different guys turned around to talk to me while we were waiting for dispatch, and one *very* macho "dude" sitting near the front turned around, smiled at me (sitting in the back) and started up a conversation! Incredible - it's not something I've ever encountered anywhere else.

Lastly, (and Revelation No. 4) I left my heart in Des Moines when I finally sampled a Des Moines specialty - a Maid-Rite sandwich. What chipped beef sandwiches are to Pittsburghers, Maid-Rites are to Iowa. These loose-meat wonders were created in the 20's and they can be found at dozens of Maid-Rite restaurants in Des Moines. Fortunately they also have them at Adventureland! The specially seasoned, ground beef filling can be compared to a "sloppy joe" without the sauce. True connoisseurs say they're best enjoyed with mustard, pickle and onion. Maid-Rite purists *abhor* ketchup and insist the sandwiches should not be served that way - in fact the young man who made my Maid-Rite said "now be sure to use mustard only, no ketchup!" I guess they have a near-cult following, and one of the restaurants will even overnight Maid-Rites to craving customers anywhere in the U.S. Count me among them! They're Fantastic with a capital F!

I had avoided Maid-Rites along with all other things Iowan, but no more. I will no longer refer to Iowa as "Hell" and will refrain from using Iowans as the butt of jokes. I left Adventureland at around 12:30 (even though I had fun by myself I still missed my girlfriend) but those 2 1/2 hours made a lasting impression on me. Iowa, you made me smile.