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I see the beautiful peaks and valleys. I see the grey
skies looming overhead. The clouds of fog wafting high and low, weaving
in and out of each ridge. And the gorgeous autumn colors, especially the
brilliant deep reds scattered among an endless blanket of trees. Each fall, coaster enthusiasts from all across the country come to this unassuming little park, nestled deep inside the heart of Pennsylvania's Appalachian mountains. They come to celebrate Knoebels, a park that seems to take you away from this world, to a place where time stands still. They come to celebrate the end of yet another coaster riding season. They come to gather for one last time with friends, many with whom they've shared good times over the summer. They come for one last hurrah. It began with a perfect autumn day. The skies were overcast, and the temperature reached into the upper 60s. A nice autumn breeze put a nip in the air and an extra zip in the Flyers. The park looked spectacular. But then, Knoebels is the kind of place that looks great under any conditions, day or night, rain or shine, empty or crowded. There is something unique about the atmosphere at this park, and it's impossible to adequately describe. In any case, the trees were at their peak of fall color, and walking through the park became an all-day visual treat. We parked in the campground, thanks to Robert Ulrich. We walked under a canopy of pine trees along the back side of Twister, stopping long enough to watch a Twister train come roaring into the tunnel. What a great view for those campers lucky enough to pitch a tent right in Twister's backyard! We hurried into the park and quickly bought our tickets. Then it was off to ride Twister! What an incredible thrill this coaster is. If The Phoenix is all about fun, The Twister is about thrills. The front seat is the place to be on this train. As Chris Cummings later said while dressed as a young Obi Wan, "The lateral forces are strong with this one." And the front seat provides the most thrilling and frightening display of those forces, particularly as you approach the Twister's double helix. You are thrown out of your seat and to the right as the train jerks smoothly but sharply to the left. With the lap bar set at two clicks, you appear to come close to being ejected. This is definitely a hang-on-for-your-life moment! Twister is smooth. Because it's so smooth, it makes the coaster extremely rerideable despite its strong lateral forces. There are many great individual moments on Twister, including the huge pop of airtime after the first drop, again at the entrance to the helix, and another violent burst of airtime after exiting the tunnel. But there are two things that make the Twister unforgettable. One of them is the split lift hill. This is the most fun. It's almost like a mini-ride in itself. From the moment you leave the station you're treated to a veritable feast of laterals! It's an extremely clever, original, brilliantly executed design. Then there is the helix. This helix is truly awesome, easily the greatest helix I've ever experienced. It's huge, it's fast and it doesn't let up. For my money, it surpasses the original Mr. Twister's helix by leaps and bounds. Having said all that, I think I initially overrated this ride when I first rode it in July. For me, the second half, while thrilling, doesn't quite live up to the extreme intensity that the first half provides. It's a very exciting run through the structure, to be sure, with nice directional changes and curvy speed bumps that provide a few hints of airtime. In many ways it is all about speed, and reminds me of GhostRider's run through its structure. But it lacks a certain violence that's much more present throughout the first half of the ride. It certainly doesn't peter out, it just doesn't carry quite the same intensity, that's all. It feels like two different rides. If it had a more violent second half I think this coaster would easily be my number two overall. But it's a Top 10 ride, that's for sure. It compliments the Phoenix perfectly and gives Knoebels a hard-to-beat 1-2 punch for wooden coasters! It would have been easy to stay at Twister all day and just keep riding over and over. But the great thing about Knoebels is that it has so much more to offer. The Flyers were nearby, beckoning us to give it our best shot. And we certainly did, riding it over and over. It was here that we ran into one of the biggest groups of RRCers. It's funny, I've never seen much of a line on the Flyers unless it happens to be full of RRCers. The takeover sessions were great fun, with Todd Long providing one of those "you had to see it to believe it" moments. Unfortunately I was on the ride at the time it happened and I didn't get to see it. So I don't believe it! Once again this ride lived up to its reputation as the best flat ride out there. It was also here that Susan and I began our pattern of drifting in and out of various RRC packs. This particular group was one of the largest, and I was happy to see Paul Drabek right in the middle of it. Paul and his wife, Carrie, were experiencing their first Phall Phunphest, and I remembered Paul's earlier exhuberance in anticipation of this day. Paul was sporting a tasty looking Legend t-shirt from Holiday World and he seemed to be completely caught up in the Phunphest spirit. I also got to meet Batwave! Chris Totdahl is a ride op at IOA's Dueling Dragons. We didn't get to see him when we visited in April because he was working so hard. So it was nice to finally meet him "face to face" and I'll look forward to seeing him next month! One of the first people we saw was Ted Ansley. Ted's wife, Debi, her mom, and daughter Katie arrived sometime in the afternoon. I hope you all got a chance to see Katie Ansley because she is the cutest little girl in the world. At night, all the little kids were scared of Cindy Stout's costume, except for Katie, who simply called her "Bad Man." There were so many RRCers present on this day. You literally couldn't walk more than a minute without seeing somebody you recognized. It started from the moment we entered the Twister's station. Joe Schwartz was standing there waiting in line for the front, right where I left him in July! Joe, did you ever go home? I also saw Rus Ozana, who was chatting up a storm as usual. Pretty soon, up comes Todd Long with his son, Billy. Immediately I snapped their picture. Todd later told me how overwhelmed he was by the number of people responding to his "small favor" request to take a picture of him and Billy together. I told him "well, at least you know you're loved." That you are, Todd. And here comes the RRC invasion! Oh my God, it's everybody - Dave Sandborg, Tim Melago, Spatch, Dana and Dooley, Mine Car Buddy, Robert and Sam Ulrich, Chris Lucht, Tom Kelley, Curt Hassinger... so many more. I won't go through the entire 123 person roll call. But what a party! It was great to see so many people I hadn't run into all summer long, especially Walt Breymeir, Roz Stevenson, Mark Rosenzweig and Kip Ross. I also briefly saw Alex Nagel, aka BNagelaaa. Does anybody else think this kid is a riot? And speaking of riots, I wish I had seen more of Chris Kearsing. He is so funny and so much fun, and everytime I ran into him it looked like he and Matt (Skankinrab) were having a blast. I also couldn't help thinking about those who should have been at Phunphest: Wes Lagatolla, Jeff Tolotti, Sean Flaharty, Dave Bowers, Fred of LA, Locoboy, Chris Hartman, Eric Geiszl, Jeff Johnson, John Cline, Todd Bills, the Rolling Reagans, Jeff King, Fred Biedermann, Mike Saunders and Glenn Payne. At the coaster swap meet, Kyle Asquith came up and introduced himself. Kyle is an extremely likeable young man and one of the most respected teenagers on RRC. He's polite, well-mannered, upbeat and easy to talk to. Much to my surprise, Kyle and Kip ended up hanging out with me and Susan several times throughout the day. We thoroughly enjoyed their company. Having said that, I should add that both these guys made fun of my blue lips, resulting in the senseless destruction of a perfectly innocent sno cone. And Kyle bashed me so hard on the bumper cars he hurt my feelings. It was also nice seeing Auntie Rose again! Her real name is Kathy, but I call her Auntie Rose, don't ask me why. She was sporting an RRC button, this one custom-made with two little beady eyes, signifiying her lurker status. Once again, the Ulrichs moved their Southern hospitality up north, offering us the use of their parking space and greeting us with homemade peach cobbler (user's diet goes right out the window). Peggy also gave us 4 bags of apple chips to take home! But there was something wrong with the percentages - I got one bag, Susan got three. I guess you can tell that Phall Phunphest means more to me than a mere trip to an amusement park. For me, Phunphest is about friends. And I have never needed or enjoyed my friends as much as I have this year. In bad times and good, the friends I've made through RRC have been there for me, and with that in mind, I came to Phunphest to celebrate good times with friends. Two of those friends, Cindy Stout and Julie Stone, ended up sharing most of the day with us. We had so much fun, and both Cindy and Julie really appreciate the Phunphest atmosphere. Julie even caught the brass ring on the carousel! We also spent a majority of the day with the Alveys - Robb and Sarah and their kids Dallas and Rebecca Gwazi, Jim Westland and Craig Arbour. These people are odd. I learn so many wierd things whenever I'm with them. The phrase "pocketful of change" is permanently burned into my brain. This was Susan's first Phunphest, and I was so happy to finally share this day with her. Knoebels is my favorite park, and Phunphest is my favorite coaster event, and I wanted her to experience the day. It has a somewhat melancholy atmosphere, even amidst the merriment. For me, this adds character to the event, creating a sense of urgency to make merry, much like Mardi Gras and auld lang syne. No other coaster event has this kind of atmosphere. We moved from Twister to the Flyers to the Phoenix. Back and forth, all day long. In between we hit the other outstanding attractions at Knoebels - the Haunted House, the bumper cars (where Kyle so brutally attacked me), and carousel. Susan and I spent one of those wonderful private moments together sitting on a bench and watching the carousel while Cindy and Julie rode the High Speed Thrill Coaster nine times. Knoebels did an outstanding job of organizing this year's event. The registration was handled very smoothly, with an unprecedented 30% increase in attendance, which was announced at 1300. The pizza line moved pitifully slow, but thanks to the addition of Twister, the phrase "have coasters, no waiting" became the order of the day. A bunch of us decided to eat our pizza early instead of waiting for the traditional 5 o'clock time. I'm glad we decided to do this, since they only had two ovens working and the 5 o'clock line looked to be moving dreadfully slow. This was the only flaw in an otherwise perfectly run event. After lunch we all moved to the Phoenix. The Phoenix is one of my very favorite coasters - it's THE most fun coaster I've ridden. But my God!!! It's got new airtime! The entire run approaching the second turnaround is full of new moments of airtime. All day, this coaster was PHLYING!!! It was funny to see everyone get off the ride, making animated statements about how amazing the airtime was. But it's true - the Phoenix was phlying phuriously phor Phunphest! At five o'clock we all changed into our costumes. Susan and I came as Twister..... the Game. It was something I thought of a long time ago and shared it with only two people, Sam Ulrich and Joe Schwartz. Both Sam and Joe are trustworthy and kept our secret. Anyway, Susan looked adorable and we were one of the runners-up at the costume awards. There were SO many funny costumes - Tim Vaughn and his friend came as Fabio and the goose, the Ulrichs were a family of zebras, Mark Rosenzweig came as The Hamburgler, Robb Alvey came as Drag Queen Amadallah, Todd Long and Tom Smith were Silent Bob and whats-his-name from the movie "Clerks", Dana Schwartz came as a warrior for common decency on RRC, Chris Lucht came as the Taer It Down Crew at Riverside Speedway, Tim Melago was a Cult Of Shivering Timbers priest, Dave Sandborg and Jim Westland came as themselves (The Professor and The Weatherman), and Cindy Stout was a ghoul who's skull dripped gobs of blood whenever she was asked if Superman: The Escape was a roller-coaster. All the little kids were afraid of Cindy's costume, but she was a big hit with the adults. Sam Marks won for goriest costume with his little *too* realistic portrayal of Fabio and that notorious incident with a goose. By far the funniest RRC costume was worn by Curt Hassinger and Tom Kelley, who came as a zebra and his trainer (complete with hand-held leash). The winners of the costume awards were kind of lame, but I wasn't surprised when I saw one of the groups lobbying what turned out to be the judges. One group formed a Twister Puzzle, which wasn't so bad. But the other group was just plain stupid. They ran a string of Christmas lights along everyone's shoulders and simulated a coaster ride which was supposed to be The Phoenix. It wasn't really a costume at all. It was more like an act with Christmas lights as a prop. Personally I liked the Scooby Doo gang! We alternated all night between the Flyers, Twister and Phoenix. I had so much fun. The autumn wind was just enough to give the Flyers an extra push. And both of the coasters ran way beyond anything I expected. At six o'clock, Knoebels held a ceremony at the Twister, dedicating an original bolt from the original Mr. Twister. Then they brought out the second train, which was the first time for this coaster. The ride ops managed the two train operation beautifully, even giving re-rides! And the Twister....... oh my God, the power this coaster exerts at night is frightening. That helix! The airtime! Bang! Zoom! The Phoenix was running even more powerfully. The rides were simply the best I've ever had. And the crew, not to be outdone, was also giving rerides! Two spectacularly running coasters, each with two train operation and no seatbelts, meant virtually no waiting time for anyone. This, despite a 30% increase in attendance! Susan and I rode only the front seats of both coasters all night long, with one exception. Rus Ozana insisted we try the third seat on The Phoenix. It's his favorite, and I can see why. The airtime is more violent in that seat. But I like the pure feeling of airtime on The Phoenix, and I prefer the front. Julie and I had a very memorable ride when we sat in the front and leaned waaaay out and "flew the track." It was great fun! The bonfire followed the awards ceremony. The fire was impressive, and I watched the cinders drift over a hundred feet in the air. It was a beautiful autumn night, and Knoebels provided hot dogs and marshmellows for roasting, as well as wooden roasting sticks. Mine Car Buddy outdid himself and brought an impossibly huge cake that was so big I still cannot believe it made the trip in one piece! The inscription on the cake said something like "RRC at PPP" and I think there was a funny saying underneath. Props go out to Mine Car Buddy for doing a good thing and making everybody feel happy. Meanwhile, jeers go out to Chris Lucht for infesting the group with his wretched bottle of Moxie. Don't drink that stuff, Chris! It'll stunt your growth! There was no sing-along this year, for which I'm sure the non-RRC attendees of Phunphest were deeply grateful. But many of us hung around long after the rest of the group had dispersed. I, for one, did not want this night to end. This was as great a day as I've had all year. The park, the performance of the rides, and the spirit of friendship that surrounded this event was as good as it gets. Friday and Saturday night we stayed at the Pine Barn Inn, a hotel that is delightfully charming. It's full of sophisticated yet homey touches, with enormous attention to detail. The wainscotting along the walls, the beautiful wooden bed, the lovely curtains - everything about this place was wonderful. Sunday morning, Susan and I had Sunday brunch buffet at the hotel, then we opted to go back to Knoebels. I'm so glad we did. I felt very guilty about not going to Lakemont's Ridefest (and Dave Sandborg and Tim Melago did *nothing* to heighten that sense of guilt!). But I already went to Lakemont in July, and I really wanted more of Knoebels. I thought I might spend no more than $15, since the park was only open from noon to five. What I failed to take into account was the sheer number of rides available to us, thanks to the low crowds! Everything was a walk-on! We could not have asked for a better closing day. The ride ops on both coasters gave everyone rerides nearly all day, making our tickets a two-fer-one. Even the cool Flyer Guy gave us three rides in a row! Even so, we still managed to run out of tickets and ended up spending thirty dollars each before the ride ops told us we could ride the rest of the day for free. I talked to many of the ops and most of them were sad to see the season come to an end. You can tell the people at Knoebels really take a lot of pride in their jobs and the park. They were enormously friendly to all of us that day - the Twister op remembered us as "the Twister couple from last night" and one of the Phoenix ops videotaped us on the lift hill off and on all day. Cindy and I performed the "Phoenix Ballet" for everyone, which is so stupid I won't even attempt to describe it. Robb, Sarah, Jim and Craig hung out with Cindy, Susan and I all day, and we were joined at various times by Todd and Billy Long, Joe Schwartz, Rus Ozana, Adam Revesz, Derek Ruth, Walt Breymier and the lovely Gin, Chris Cummins, Rob Steer, Spatch and several others. Spatch had to leave a little early but made a special trip to come back and introduce us to Jen. I thought that was pretty cool of him. And Adam sought me out before leaving and wished both me and my family well and said we were in his prayers. We rode the Twister many, many times that afternoon and it lost nothing from the night before! But I wanted to finish out the day riding the Phoenix. We spent the final hour riding over and over, non-stop. At one point, Susan rode with Robb, who adopted her into his harem. And Sarah sold me her little girl for 30 cents in ride tickets. We got to know the ride ops, who last week became engaged on the Phoenix's lift hill! Everyone had a great time, and I'm so glad that Todd and Billy, Robb and Sarah, Cindy, Jim and Craig were able to stay until the very end. Susan and I rode nothing but the front seat that final hour. For our last ride of the day we gave it up. As we moved back into the second row, the ride op announced that this would be the last train of the night. Robb and Cindy took the front seat, while the other RRCers sat behind us. We whooped and hollered our way through the entire ride. Even more so as we blew past the brake run and into our reride. And even more so again, as the ride op gave us the thumbs up for a third reride. These rides were simply unforgettable. Finally, the ride ops thanked us for a great year and sent us on our way for a fourth and final ride. As we climbed the Phoenix's lift hill for the last time this century, I closed my eyes, thanked God for this wonderful weekend, then looked around and saw the mountains before me. I turned around and looked back at our trainload of friends to see if all was right with RRC. I saw Billy Long, huddled down in his seat, with his father, Todd, riding alongside him. This was right, the way it should be. Todd looked at me and I smiled back at him. He was grinning from ear to ear. This is the memory I will take with me of Phall Phunphest 1999. So I'll close my eyes, and see the mountains. And remember the good times we've had.
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