You Know You're A Donald O'Connor Fan If....

--You come home drunk and your mom tries to drown you in the bathroom sink.

--You join the army, and request to be stationed in Burma in the hopes that you might be rescued by a talking mule.

--When your mom sings, you think she sounds like Ethel Merman.

--You used to have an ass like that.

--You can't watch an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation without yelling out, "Prick!" whenever Brent Spiner (Data) comes on.

--When your friend is "getting a little too much love from his adoring fans" and asks you to call him a cab, you say, "Okay, you're a cab."

--When taking dance lessons, you tell the teacher to "step aside and let me show you how it's done" (even if you can't dance).

--When you step out of your car, you always expect applause.

--Whenever someone enters the room, you say, "Well, if it isn't Ethel Barrymore!"

--Your closet is full of pale blue sweaters.

--No matter how odd you look, you feel you can still attract women like Marilyn Monroe.

--You smoke four packs a day in the hopes of being able to do an intricate dance number.

--You don't mind playing second fiddle (no pun intended) to your best friend and his girlfriend.

--You dance better alone or with a dummy than you do with a real person.

--Whenever someone kisses you, you fall over the back of the couch.

--You argue with your friends about whether to call him "Don" or "Donny"

--You write to him and when you don't get your autographed picture of him right away, you begin to curse the U.S. Postal service (I never used the word "curse")

--When someone treats his character badly, you can't enjoy the rest of the movie until you've had some kind of resolution.

--You got no glory, you got no fame, you got no big mansions, and you got no money...but you got to get out a here.

--You can't say "Chris O'Donnell" without saying "Donald O'Connor" (ok, this one actually happened...I still say that I never "cursed" the postal service)

--When you finally DO get your autographed picture in the mail, the first thing you do is call your best friend (who is coincidently one of the co-presidents of the Fan Club) and yell into the phone, "I got it! I got it!" And she actually knows what you're talking about.