The Importance of Being Quiet
The world can be divided into two types of people: those who give voice to every thought and those who are naturally quiet. People tend to accept the former as normal and be concerned about the latter, often thinking quietness is a temporary condition that should be corrected. Falling into the latter category myself, I am easily able to blend into the background and observe the phenomenon in action. Far from being a problem, however, quiet individuals are often more capable of expressing meaning than those who are talkative. By not offering every thought and opinion, their words, when they do speak, have greater influence in the classroom and in society. People who are quiet by nature can communicate more effectively than others.
One of the disadvantages to being a reserved person is that they are more likely to be perceived as unapproachable. When meeting a new group of people, on the first day of school, for instance, people are more likely to introduce themselves to a group that is already talking, rather than the person sitting alone or with just one other person. However, this situation can have positive consequences as well. A quiet person has the opportunity to observe people, and then decide which seem as if they would be good friends. Sometimes it is better to take the time to get to know a few people well rather than have many casual acquaintances. This may result in a smaller quantity of friends, but it is also more likely that each one will be a quality friend.
Quiet people also tend to stay focused and find it easier to pay attention in class. Friends know that quiet classmates don’t want to talk during every lull in the instruction and so are ready to fully concentrate on the teacher when instruction resumes. Listening is an important way for a student to absorb the flow of ideas. During long lectures, especially in upper-level courses, every sentence is important. No one can afford to tune out the teacher in order to whisper something to a friend. More than once, I have heard my neighbors whisper to each other until they hear the teacher say, “This is a very important concept.” At this point they panic and ask others what they missed, often losing the next concept in order to copy the notes – notes they will find useless without understanding the idea behind it.
Finally, people are more likely to confide in quiet people because they are often good listeners. In my own experience, my friends have talked to me about their problems because they know I am willing to listen without feeling that I have to interrupt and add comments of my own in the middle of their story. This is not to say I merely nod passively and agree, only that I let my friends have an uninterrupted turn before I begin. My mother has noticed this as well. Recently, we had a conversation about her childhood. At one point, she veered off into a long story about her mean older sister, recalling instances from childhood. I realized that I was in a chair and she was lying on the couch. I glanced at my watch and said, in a professional tone, “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid our time is up.” Although the story of the unintentional psychologist/patient conversation became a running joke between us, it had nevertheless begun as a true heart-to-heart. My mom later said that I had been so easy to open up to that she felt she was talking to a confidant rather than her daughter.
It may seem paradoxical that quiet people would be skillful at communication. However, they play an important role, as there can be no conversation without an attentive listener. When they do add to the conversation, their input is concise without sacrificing meaning. Although the people are quiet, their words ring louder than most. If the world can be divided into two types of people, then the quiet side of the equation is the more powerful.
DF's comments:
"Expertly handled conclusion..." "Excellent." DF is fairly sparing with her praise; most of her comments are scattered throughout the paper (several "well done," "good," and "nice") and can't be reproduced.