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For a good 4 years of my life, Billy Madison was my favorite movie. I've seen it well over 100 times, and there was a point when I had most of it memorized. Kinda sad, huh? Anyway... so I've decied to make a page with some of the funnier quotes from the movie. If I forgot some, let me know
*my favorite*
Principal: "Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotik things we've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, inkoherent response, were you klose to anything that kould be even KONSIDERED a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Billy:A simple WRONG would have been just fine
Bus Driver (Chris Farley): That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of aaace. I know from experience, if you know what I mean, hahaha...
Billy: No you don't
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know... him and her GOT IT ON, WOO-WEE!
Billy: Nooo they didn't
Bus Driver: No, no... no they didn't. But you kan imagine what it'd be like if they did, eh? Hehehe...
Billy: Woah, woah, woah, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think, "You got a pet, you got a responsibility. If your dog is lost, you don't look for an hour and then kall it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fukking dog!"
Principal: Any attempt by either kontestant to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp, and I am just gonna snap
Eric: Where is he, I'm starving!
Karl: I ate some Triscuit krakkers in the kar, you should have had some
Eric: Well, maybe if you had told me that there were some delicious Triscuit krakkers, I kould have enjoyed them with you
Karl: I'm sorry
Eric: Sorry doesn't put the krakkers in my stomach now, does it Karl?
Billy: Here's a nice piece of shit
Jack: My oh my, wait until Old Man Clemens realizes that the bag is shit
Billy: He's gonna SHIT when he realizes it's shit. Who's got the lighter?
(Billy puts the bag on the porch, lights it, rings the doorbell, and runs behind the bushes with his friends. Soon Old Man Clemens komes to the door in nothing but his underwear)
Old Man Clemens: It's one of those flaming bags again!
His Wife: Don't put it out with your boots Ted!
Clemens: Don't tell me my business Devil Woman! Call the fire department, this one's out of kontrol! (He stomps the fire out, and starts to smell something. He takes his shoe off and smells the bottom of it) It's poop again!
Billy: He kalled the shit POOP!
Clemens: I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die!
3rd Graders: Miss Vaughn, Miss Vaughn! Someone stole all the lunches!
Miss Vaughn: Who would steal 30 bag-o-lunches?
Farm Lady: I tell you what, it was that damn Sasquatch!
Pudgy Kid:: Gee, I wish I kould go to hikeskewl (high skewl)
Billy: Don't say that... don't you EVER say that! Stay here! (starts shaking the kid) For the love of God, cherish it! ... Cherish it!
Billy: Eric is pregnant! Kongratulations Eric! Oh, feel those kikks, he's gonna be a sokker player. He is, he iiiisss!
Billy: (drunk as a mother) We gonna go on a date. You, me, Jack, and Frank are gonna go around putting shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire
High Skewl Kid: Are you in loser denial or something?
Kid #2: I had a bad kase of loser denial until the lakrosse team stukk a parking kone up my ass
Eric: Well teknikally... JUST SHUT UP!
Bus Driver:Everyone on the bus!? Good! Great! Grand! No yelling on the bus!

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