ESSAYS ON DAMAGE, ---and OTHER

(Part One)

ISIT HEAD AND BODYSPACE AND COMPOSITION AS DIRECT EXPERIENCE WHICH ARE IN MY PROFOUNDLY WORLD, OF WHICH I AM NEITHER IN NOR OUT OF EXCLUSIVELY? MINE, HOWEVER, IS NOT WHAT IS USUALLY REFERRED TO AS THE "INNER-OUTER" ONE' (THAT IS : I-THOU; SUBJECT-OBJECT; INTERNAL-EXTERNAL; ET ALIA), FOR THIS ONE IS NOW MOST "COMMONLY", AND FASTLY BECOMING A GRANDGLOBAL VERNACULAR ONE (GENERALLY SUCKING UP THE LOCAL ONE, ---THE SO-CALLED "NATIVE" ONE---, OFTEN CHARACTERIZED BY "PECULIAR" DIVERSITIES OF LANGUAGE CUSTOMS). NOW I CALL MINE A NEO PRIMITIVE ONE (BECAUSE GRANDGLOBAL VERNACULAR WORLD HAS FAR TOO MANY INSERTION DEVICES TO ENABLE IT TO SEE THINGS CLEARLY; AND NATIVE VERNACULAR WORLD HADHAS PROBABLY FAR TOO FEW TO OVERCOME TODAY'S SUFFOCATING POLLUTION), IN THE SENSE THAT GETTING BACK TO BASICS, (BY WHICH I DO NOT MEAN THE 3R'S OR FUNDAMENTAL'S ONE BOOK), AND NECESSARILY BECOMING CLEAR ABOUT WHO "I" IS, (FORYOUANDME), ---BY DIRECT EXPERIENCING--- (HOW IT IS'S); WITHOUT BENEFIT OF UNNECESSARY INSERTION DEVICES BETWEEN US AND SO-CALLED THINGS; IS CRUCIAL. SO, WHEN 'NATIVES' OF THIS GRANDGLOBAL VERNACULAR WORLD STILL, (MOST OFTEN HEARD) REFER TO THE INNER-OUTER SPACE PHENOMENA AS THE "WORLD OUT THERE", AND, PARADOXICALLY, (AND, EVEN MORE SELF-EFFACINGLY), THAT IT IS THE "REAL WORLD", (AS-IF THERE IS SOME KIND OF WALL INSERTED BETWEEN THE "REAL" ONE, AND THE "UNREAL" (?) ONE, I AM ALWAYS THRUST BACKWARDS TO AT LEAST MEDIEVAL MYSTICISM' (THIS ONE HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CURRENT MYSTICISM), AND THE NOTION THAT EARTH IS FIXED WITH SUN REVOLVES AROUND IT.
DITTO FOR THE UNIVERSE. THIS ESTABLISHED THE PRIMACY OF OUR EARTH AS THE CEN TER OF ALL MATTER; FIXED, AS-IT WERE, (ALTHOUGH I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY THE FIXEDNESS OF THE EARTH, INCLUDING ALL PERSONAE ,---TO SAY NOTHING OF ALL ELSE- - , EACH AS A ((NEVER EASILY ADMITTED)) UNIQUE CENTER OF THIS EARTH-CEN TER. WAS SUCH A SINGULAR VALUE), AS DISTINCT FROM THE NOTION THAT THE EARTH MOVES. I MEAN, NOW REALLY (!) IS ONE LESS FAITHFULL IN A MOVING BODY THAN IN A FIXED ONE? NEVER-THE-LESS, THIS DUMB IDEA, (THE SO-CALLED "FIXED-EYE" IDEA), PERSISTS IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER INSPITE OF GALILEO GALILEI, (HEREIN AFTER AKA "GG"), AMONG OTHERS, WHO DISPROVED IT WITIIOUT DENOUNCING CHURCH, (WHO DID S0-BELIEVE), BY WAY OF VERY ELEGANT LANGUAGE, EVEN THOUGH, HE, ("GG"), AFTERALL, --BY A SHATTERING INQUISITION ---WAS BLOWN AWAY IN THE END BECAUSE OF HIS POSITION. NOW, THIS DUMB IDEA PERSISTS IN COLLUSION WITH THE CURRENT "OUT-THERE" ONE, (A SO CALLED "STRAIGHT-AHEAD" IDEA); EACH, SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET RID OF. SO, SOMEHOW: FIXED-EYE AND STRAIGHT-AHEAD CAN CLIMB OVER A WALL. (NO DOUBT, VERY HIGH), WALK INTO AIR, (ONE OF THOSE PROPERTIES IN THE WORLD OUT THERE), HANG OUT FOR AWHILE, RETURN TO "IN HERE", BY CLIMBING BACK, TAKE HOLD OF BREATHS, BY PUTTING SELVES IN STATES OF SUSPENDED ANIMATION, (ALTHOUGH I DOUBT THEY ARE VITALISTS, ---MOSTLY LIKELY NEVER HAVING READ THE "DOCTRINE OF THE LA"---), UNTIL THE HOTS TO GO "OUT THERE" AGAIN, RETURN. NOW DEAR LOQUENDI, DO YOU THINK THEY BELIEVE THIS SHIT, OR JUST THINK IT? IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? (ACTUALLY) I BREATHE EASIER IF I REMEMBER THAT I AM MOVING WITH MOVING PLANET AND ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH MOBILITIES; THAT I AM "OUTIN" AT ONCE. ALIVE IS REAL ENOUGH LISTEN BUSTERS, THE SENSES ARE SUFFICIENTLY ELEGANT TO PROVIDE THIS ATONCENESS: THERE IS NO TIME-DELAY ONE HEARS SOUND AS SOON AS IT STRIKES THE EAR, (SOMETIMES EVEN SOONER). AND, IF THE LANGUAGE OF WALL(S) AND ALL SUCH METAPHORIC-LITERAL INSERTION DEVICES DERIVED FROM THE EXPRESSIONS IN-OUT/REAL WORLD IS PART OF A FICTIVE CONSTRUCTION, (CAUSING UNCERTAINTIES ABOUT WHERE I IS), AS IS PERSISTENTLY ARGUED DUE TO THE SO-CALLED ARBITRARY ASSOCIATION OF WORD WITH THING, (THEREBY. FALSELY REFERRING TO SUCH UNIONS AS "BE", AND "IS"), THEN I WISH TO WRITE ANOTHER ONE. (FICTION:
BUT OF COURSE I AM NOT THE IT I JUMP BACK AND FORTH ABOUT; NOR CAN I BECOME IT. ((DOES THIS SIGNIFY A WALL BETWEEN US?)?. ISIT NOT LIKE SEEING THINGS EVEN AS CLEARLY AS ALCHEMISTS DID; AS PREVENTIVE MEDICINISTS DO? ITIS TRUE THAT SOMETIMES I AM NOT MYSELF. PEOPLE OFTEN SAY THIS TO ME, TOO. BUT, IF I AM NOT MYSELF SOMETIMES, THEN WHERE DOES MY SELF GO? AND WHATAMITODO IN THE MEANTIME ? BECOME AN IT? OVERTHEWALL AGAIN WITHOUT ME? ((OOPS, IMEANT: WITHOUT IT')) , THIS IS ABSURD. I AM. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. THEY ARE TOO; (AREN 'T THEY?).
THIS IS VERY PERPLEXING, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T CHANGE THOSE CONTRADICTIONS BORN OF THE DUMB IDEA WHICH PERSISTS IN THIS NOW GRANDGLOBAL VERNACULAR WORLD AS IT DID NOT IN THE NATIVE ONE; LOADED, STILL, AS IT IS WITH VERY FUNDAMENTAL TEACHING, ((THE RESIDUE OF BACK TO BASICS, AND THE EMERGENCE OF A RECURSION T O PLYMOUTH ROCKS, REQUIRING, (((IDEALLY))), THAT WE ALL DRESS UP, (((FOR SER IOUS, BUSTER))), LIKE THE NEW YEAR'S BABY)). ABOVE I USED THE WORD "LOADED", BUT, I'VE CHANGED MY MIND, ENROUTE: 'STUFFED' IS A MORE APPROPRIATE TERM. IT PERTURBS MORE THE GENERALLY PREDICTIVE, REDUNDANT, LINEAR, REDUCTIONISTIC DESIRE TO CONTINUE ARCHAIC ASSUMPTIONS BY THESE SAME MODIFIERS. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE WORDS NOW WHICH MAKES EVERYTHING SEEM LIKE A NARRATIVE). NEVERTHELESS, SOME THINK STUFFED WORDS ARE TO BE USED AS SO MANY FOUND OBJECTS WITHOUT SOUND STUFFED WORDS; MORE NOW THAN THERE WERE IN HIS TIME EVEN DICTIONARIES (HEREINAFTER AKA: "DICT") ARE HAVING TROUBLE KEEPING UP SINCE ONE OF THEIR BASIC PREMISES HAS TO DO WITH "LIVING LANGUAGE" OF WHICH THE EDITORIAL AUTHORITIES HAVE ISOLATED TWO VARIETIES: (1) WORDS AND WORD MEANINGS IN USE, AND (2) WORDS MEANINGS CONSIDERED OBSOLETE. NOW THESE TWO LIVING VARIETIES ARE STILL INCLUDED IN THE BIG SPACE-CONSCIOUS OVERSTUFFED IT'S OK ENCYCLOPEDIC "DICT" AND YES THERE IS ACTUALLY A THIRD VARIETY WHICH DOES NOT APPEAR BUT IS MERELY REFERRED TO IN CERTAIN INTRODUCTIONS AS WORDS WHICH ARE "DEAD". BECAUSE OF THIS CIRCUMSTANCE AS I 'VE SAID I 'VE BEGUN TO REFER TO MY WORK AS NEO-PRIMITIVE SINCE SEEING CLEARLY AGAIN IS IN NO SENSE A FUNDAMENTAL EASINESS. AND BECAUSE I LAMENT LOSS OF DIVERSITY REFLECTED BY AND IN THE AESTHETIC(?) ECONOMY OF "DICT " SPACE RELEVANCE ABSENCE OF WORDS DECLARED DEAD; WORDS CONSIDERED "STOCK"; WORDS FIXED BY POPULARITY AND SPECIAL INTEREST AUTHORITIES; CHAUCER IS STILL IN; AND BECAUSE I NOTICE A DISTINCTION, FOR THE MOMENT SO-CALLED, HOPING LATER TO SHOW THAT IT NEED NOT BE ONE, WHICH IS TO SAY THAT WHEN COMPOSING IN STUDIO, MY WORLD OF COMPOSITION IS NOT THOSE OTHER (COMPOSED?) ONES AS FOR INSTANCE, THE OUTTHEREREALWORLDFIXEDONES, EVEN THOUGH I AM ALWAYS CAPABLE OF HOLDING MORE THAT ONE NECESSARILY, ---ACTUALLY KINDS---, IN MY CONSCIOUSNESS AT A TIME. SO ARE YOU LOQUENDI. I CANNOT KNOW WALL OUT THERE WITHOUT KNOWING WALL IN HERE. HOWEVER, WALL CANNOT SPEAK WORDS. (ACTUALLY, THERE ARE AT LEAST TWO WALLS; ONE IMAGED HERE; ONE IMAGED THERE; NEAT(!), OR NONE(?); OF EACH OTHER; AND I OR SELF WHICHEVER YOU PREFER STANDS BETWEEN THEM IF THERE IS ANY INSERTING TO BE DONE). NEITHER CAN WALLS CONNECT. WHAT
HOLDS FOR THE DUMB IDEA, (AS-IF EXCLUSIVELY SO), ALSO HOLDS, SYNCHRONOUSLY, (BY THOSE WHO HOLD THE DUMB IDEA), FOR, (MORE DEVASTATINGLY SO), CONCEPTUAL SEPARATION OF HEAD FROM BODY; INNER-OUTER DUMBNESS BEING A KIND OF "APPLIED" MACROCOSM TO HEAD-BODY VIVESECTION (BY RECOGNIZING ONLY THE REAL WORLD "OUT THERE", STRAIGHT-AHEAD CONDEMNS AN INTERNAL, 'UNREAL' ONE) HEAD THINKS, BODY FEELS; HEAD IS : "UP-HERE", BODY IS : "DOWN-THERE", (---LIFE ON A POGO STICK BASED ON DIRECTIONAL MEASUREMENT---), ---WALL DIVIDED---; DEPENDING ON WHO KNOWS WHERE 'WHERE' IS. (EVEN THOUGH 'WHERE' IS A CONSTRUCT-((ALSO AN ASSOCIATION, (((ALSO A CONSTRUCTION))), HMM))-ION' NOT KNOWN OR TO BE FOUND IN WHATEVER IT IS THAT KEEPS US AFLOAT IN SO-CALLED SPACE, AND SPINNING). "WHERE IS THE SAME AS PLACE", SAYS FIXED-EYE, WITHOUT HESITATION: SIMPLY AND CONCLUSIVELY. (NO COMMENT FROM STRAIGHT-AHEAD). SO,
THIS IS A WHERE(?)
ISUPPOSE:
"A GRAMOPHONE RECORD, THE MUSICAL IDEA, THE WRITTEN NOTES, AND THE SOUND-WAVE