You are so fat:
P-1...when you stood on a scale, it said "one at a time please."...
P-2...when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house...
P-3...when you stood on the scale, it said "to be continued"...
P-4...when your lesbo/gay/boyfriend tried to kiss you, she had to punch your stomach and ride the third wave up...
P-5...you remind me of a Big Mac; full of fat and only worth a buck...
P-6...you tripped on third street and landed on 6th street...
P-7...you fell in love and it broke...
P-8...your blood type is crisco...
P-9...the last time you saw 90210, it was on the scale...
P-10...when you laid your shadow on the bed , it broke
P-11...when you put on your Bvd's they spelled boulevard...
P-12...when you walked past the T.V., I missed three comercials...
P-13...each of your butt cheeks has a different zip code...
P-14...when you stood on a corner, the cops came over and yelled, "hey, break it up!...
P-15...when your beeper goes off, people think you are backing up...
P-16...when I swerved to miss you on the street, I ran out of gas...
P-17...your momma's like a shotgun, every cock she {BLOWS}.
P-18...your momma's like a sidewalk, flat as a board and already nailed.
P-19...your so fat, you broke your leg and gravy came out.
P-20...yo momma's so fat a bus hit her, and she asked "who pushed me".
P-21...yo momma's so fat they setup a 3K race running around her.
******************************************************************************** P-22...You are like a public restroom; everyone uses it and you smell like one...
P-23...your so stupid you went into a antique store and asked, "what's new?".
P-24.Whats the difference between yo mama and a water buffalo? How do you even it up?. Either force-feed the buffalo, or shave yo mama...
P-25.yo mama's so stupid: she took the pepsi challenge and choose jif...
P-26.yo mama's so stupid: she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, "I said {GUESS}" and she said, "uh, Levi's?.
P-27.yo mama's so stupid: when you were born, she looked at the umbilical cord and said,"hey it comes with cable.
P-28.I've seen people like you before but I had to pay admission...
P-29.If sex were fast food you'd have an arch over your head...
P-30.Instead of being born again why don't you just grow up...
P-31.Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people...
P-32.I'm not as dumb as you look...
P-33.When you were born the doctor looked at your face then at your ass and said "look Twins!!!...
P-34.I could of been your mom but the dog beat me to it!...
P-35.Your not stupid, your just posessed by a retarded ghost...
P-36.How did you get here, did someone leave your cage open?...
P-37.I hear what you are saying, but I just don't care...
P-38.Can i borrow your face for a couple days while my ass is on vacation...
P-39.Don't you need a licence to be that ugly?...
P-40.go fart peas at the moon...
P-41.Notorius P.I.G.!!!...
P-42.Yo mamma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes...
P-43.Your so dumb you look at an orangejuice carton for 20 minutes, just because it said to concentrate.
P-44.Your so ugly you went in for an ugly contest, they said sorry no professionals...
P-45.I can say with certainty that an encounter between you and a canker-sored back-alley street whore would result in matrimony and a baby red-assed baboon.
P-46.If I wanted s--t from you, i'd pick it off your teeth...
P-47.If I wanted you to talk i'd pull your string...
P-48.You are a man with an open mind. I can feel the draft from here...
P-49.You've got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line...
P-50.You sing like you're throwing up...
P-51.If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on your head...
P-52.The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples...
P-53.Your only flair is in your nostrils...
P-54. I never forgot a face, but in your case I'll make an exception...
P-55.You got your good looks from your father...I heard he's a plastic surgeon...
P-56.I couldn't find your IQ if I had a flashlight, a thousand bloodhounds, and the FBI...
P-57.You are a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post...
P-58.You have Van Gogh's ear for music...
P-59.You were born stupid, and have greatly increased your birthright...
P-60.I am Madam Zowina, fortune teller. I want to reach into your mind...Where is it currently located?
P-61.If you ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck...
P-62.You never open your mouth, without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge...
P-63.What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You!
P-64.Whats on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement...
P-65.When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?
P-66.You, my friend, have delusions of adequacy...
P-67.You are one of those people who would be enormously improved by death...
P-68.I will always love the false image I had of you...
P-69.People have to stand in line to hate you...
P-70.Don't look now, but there's one too many people participating in this IM and I think it's you...
P-71.I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest!
P-72.You're a good example of why some animals eat there young.
P-73.Your the biggest bug in the manure pile...
P-74.You jumped into the gene pool, when the lifegaurd wasn't watching.
P-75.Somewhere, your depriving a village of an idiot.
P-76.Your mother is so ugly she makes a onion cry.
P-77.Your mother is like a hardware store, 10 cents a screw.
P-78.Your momma is like a rifle, four cocks and she is loaded.
P-79.Your momma is like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
P-80.Is that your face or did your neck puke?
P-81.Your a carpenters dream, flat as a board, and easy to nail!
P-82.You're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly.
P-83.Shut up before I slap you like the bitch you are!
p-84.You're so ugly, you couldn't get a root if you dug under a Tree.
p-85.I would call you a bastard, but you're too ugly to be a lovechild!
p-86.If your mother took birth control it probably left a bad taste in your mouth.
p-87.You are so fat...when you finally find a lover...he rolles you in flour...and looks for the wet spot...
p-88.You are so fat...your boyfriends slaps you on the ass and rides the wave in for sex...
p-89.If I wanted lip from you, I'd pull down my pants.
p-90.Your dick is so small, you piss on your balls.
p-91.When I saw your face on the family tree, I wanted to cut it down!
p-92.Could I borrow your face for a few days? my ass is going on vacation.
GO
The DEVIL made me do it......
