Well, here it is, the year 2000, and you´re wondering what past generations thought the world today would be like...Mystery Science Theater 3000 presents: Escape 2000
(1983)
Finally all the guards decide to let five prisoners go so they can hunt em down. Joining Olivia and Steve are a boxy blonde bimbo, a weirdo jerkola red-head freak, and a guy who acts like Bruce Dern. One of em gets his little toe ripped off by a green-eyed werewolf in a dune buggy. There's a Joan Collins lookalike riding around on a horse
and shooting exploding arrows at people. A lot of guys get kicked in the groceries. The werewolf gets his eye gouged out and his body sliced in half in a beautiful scene with an exotic motor vehicle. The Nazi Cochise gets his hands chopped off with a machete. Then Railsback goes nuts with a recreational vehicle and fights the whole Communist air force.
Exploding heads.
Twenty-one breasts, including two stunt breasts. (Shame on you, Olivia.)
Thirty-four dead bodies.
RV crash-and-burn.
Bimbo meat factory.
Six pints blood.
Four motor vehicle chases, with two crash-and-burns.
Heads roll.
Hands roll.
Stomachs roll.
Little toe rolls.
Two and a half stars.
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs, All Rights Reserved. No relation to the Briggs & Stratten Engine.
For this and other reviews by the artist formerly known as the host of Monstervision, go to the JoeBobBriggs.com website
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