Host Segments for
Intro
Boy, are we in luck now. I'm Professor Joe
Bob Briggs, and for the next two hours you get to watch a weenie wearin
lipstick runnin through the desert gigglin and trying to find his stolen
bicycle. It's "Pee wee's Big Adventure," the movie that gave new meaning
to the word "Pee wee," and it's like a giant human cartoon where these
cardboard cutout actors run around with giant thumbs and toothbrushes and
jump off trains and talk like nerds and, basically, if you're five years
old or younger, this one's for you. Course, in retrospect, if you keep in
mind what we now know about Pee wee Herman, the movie holds new meaning,
so if you haven't seen it since 1985 and since this IS Pop Culture 201,
you'll find the subtext now wrought with significance. Okay, let's do
those drive in totals. We have: No dead bodies. Two breasts (both of em on
Mark Holton). One bathtub rasslin match. One bicycle chase. One motorcycle
crash. Burning pet store. Bartop "Tequila" dance. Gratuitous Milton Berle.
Kung fu. Two stars. Check it out, and I'll be here to analyze it for you
along the way.
[fading] This is one of those movies where they
finished it and they said "We DID put some plot in, didn't we?" "Yeah, we
did. I mean, I didn't but I think Bill did." "Did you put in the plot,
Bill?" "No, Sam put in the plot." "Sam?" "Okay, don't tell me we forgot
the plot."
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Commercial Break #1
Did you enjoy the famous "nyah nyah nyah"
scene with Francis the fat kid? "Did not, did too" that's ALWAYS funny,
isn't it? Oooookay, can we talk about subtext? "Dottie, there are things
about me that you wouldn't understand, couldn't understand, shouldn't
understand!" How portentous, no? You guys aren't gonna be able to
concentrate until I answer the question that's on everybody's mind, right?
We all wanna know the same thing: Which porno movies was Pee Wee Herman
watching when he was arrested for indecent exposure? Well, the crack TNT
research department has dug deep and found the titles. You ready? "Nancy
Nurse," "Turn Up the Heat," and "Tiger Shark." Course, it wasn't Pee wee
Herman who was caught rousting the puppy, it was Paul Reubens, the guy who
PLAYS Pee wee Herman. We invited Paul to come be a guest lecturer tonight,
but he still doesn't like to appear in public. The guy's visiting his
parents in Sarasota one day, he's bored, so he goes to the South Trail
Triple X to unwind which, by the way, is an excellent theater FOR that
area and it's such a slow night down at Sarasota P.D. that they send not
one, but FOUR undercover cops down to the South Trail. There were hardly
that many people IN the theater. The Sarasota County sheriff's affidavit
said that a detective arrested him in the lobby. But think about it. If
the cops arrested him IN THE LOBBY, that means the cops SAT THROUGH THE
WHOLE MOVIE. What kinda sting operation is THAT? Unless he just went to
the lobby for popcorn, but impossible how would he hold the box? They were
just covering their butts so they could expense their movie tickets, is
what it sounds like to me. Why am I the only one who notices these things?
Okay, we'll talk later about how Paul Reubens may have sub-consciously got
himself arrested on purpose, so let's get back to the flick.
[fading] I've driven by the South Trail Adult Theater. Heck, I
even remember when the old NORTH Trail was still open. They just called it
The Trail. Sarasota hasn't done such a good job of historical
preservation.
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Commercial Break #2
Little cameo by the great pro rassler,
Professor Toru Tanaka as the Butler. By the way, let's keep in mind that
"Pee wee's Big Adventure" was the first feature directed by Tim Burton,
when he was 26 years old. Before Beetle-juice, before "Edward
Scissorhands," before "Batman." Before Mars Attacks! which we're showing
here for UFO Studies in a few weeks. It was also Danny Elfman's first film
score, and now he's one of the biggest composers out there. So you have to
think about the fact that "Pee wee's Big Adventure" served as the
foundation for the soon to be pervasive live action cartoons accompanied
by whimsical scores, both the small, personal films and the megabudgted
and megamarketed blockbusters. You're not listening to me, are you? Okay,
let's ALL do the Pee Wee Herman laugh. Here, I'll start. [laughs] That was
terrible. [crew members try] That's good. It's a little hiccupy thing you
have to do. [laughs] Okay, keep practicing.
[fading] Pop Culture
Night on TNT. The Official Pee Wee Herman Laugh Lesson. Thank you.
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Commercial Break #3
[academic articles]
Kinda drags in
the middle, doesn't it? Kinda drags at the end, too. And it's not too
PEPPY at the beginning. Why are they speaking French? Did anybody explain
that? Okay, that's Diane Salinger as Simone, the waitress with the
inexplicable crush on Pee wee. Tim Burton reunited the two of em in
"Batman Returns" as the Penguin's parents. Anyhow, this movie is gettin
into the areas where the eggheads go crazy. I have several academic
articles here: "The Playhouse of the Signifier: Reading Pee wee Herman";
"The Cabinet of Dr. Pee wee: Consumerism and Sexual Terror"; and my
favorite: "The Sissy Boy, the Fat Ladies, and the Dykes: Queerness and/as
Gender in Pee wee's World." That's "and slash as." Those are two words I
didn't think had that kinda relationship. Let me read first from "The
Playhouse of the Signifier." "Pee wee's mail man is a 'mail lady,' a
phrase that given the over-determinations encoded by the sexual hijinks on
the show takes on an added resonance: MALE lady. M-A-L-E. It doesn't take
very long to recognize the gay subtext, intertext, or just plain text of
the Pee wee episodes." Wait, we have a Mail Girl -- does that mean WE
'have a gay subtext, or intertext or whatever? Don't answer that. Okay,
this is from "The Cabinet of Dr. Pee wee," the part where they actually
quote from ANOTHER article, "Pee wee Herman: The Homosexual Subtext." This
is about the men in "Pee wee's Playhouse": "Each represents a specific gay
male icon, prominent fantasy figures in homosexual pornography, including
the sailor, the black cowboy, and the muscular, scantily clad lifeguard,
not to mention the escaped con in 'Pee wee's Big Adventure.' In the film
we see explicit references to gay fantasy in two instances of drag..."
Blah blah blah... "Irreverent gay camp aesthetic... Disguised
allusions..." Boy, what do these guys say about "Bosom Buddies"? Their
EKGs must go off the charts. Wait, I need to read one more. "Simone the
waitress serves as Pee Wee's female 'double,' representing parallels to
his gay femininity in all its problematic construction. These, and other,
examples of Pee wee and women characters bonding and doubling are
generally worked out as moments of gay femininity connecting with straight
femininity rather than as moments in which heterocentrist notions of
gayness as a masquerade of straight femaleness are being evoked."
Actually, when you think about it, that makes perfect sense. Okay, let's
get back to the movie.
[fading] I wonder if the guys who write
these articles are gay.
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Commercial Break #4
Well, wasn't that wacky? This movie kinda
su - whoops. My favorite scene, though, is Jan Hooks as the Alamo tour
guide. According to Tim Burton, that scene was all improvised, and Jan
Hooks ended up on "Saturday Night Live" the year after this movie came
out. Her first job, by the way, was on a sketch comedy show on TBS.
Hysterical. Ted cancelled it. I should point out that this movie was
co-written by the late, great Phil Hartman. These guys all knew each other
from the Groundlings, the improvisational theater group out in El Lay.
Paul Reubens invented the character of Pee wee Herman at the Groundlings.
He did a special for HBO in 1981. He got extremely popular doing
"Letterman." This movie in 85. He started the Saturday morning kid's show,
"Pee wee's Playhouse." Another big hit. He did the voice of the little
robot pilot for "Star Tours" at Disneyland. You know where you stand in
line for an hour and a half to go on a fake rollercoaster? That one.
Listen to the voice next time you go on it. Then he makes "Big Top Pee
wee," and it's a big top flop. He burns out on "Pee wee's Playhouse,"
films the two final seasons in one year, goes down to Sarasota to work on
his tan, and gets nabbed for waxing his spear. CBS cancels his show, his
star is yanked from Hollywood Boulevard, and Pee wee Herman is dead. Maybe
on purpose -- it's something to think about. But Paul Reubens lives! He's
in a new movie, "Mystery Men," about a bunch of lame superhero wannabes.
It looks great. All right, yack yack yack back to the movie.
[fading] You guys know who played the gay porno fantasy Cowboy
Curtis in "Pee wee's Playhouse"? Laurence Fishburne. Gay porno fantasy --
that's the eggheads' term, not mine. By the way, did I mention the
symbolism the eggheads point out in the name "Pee wee Herman"? Herman.
HER-MAN. And I'm sure Paul Reubens sat down and thought ALL this out when
he came up with the character. People get PhDs for this stuff.
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Commercial Break #5
How bout that Pee Wee Spastic Dance? And
now yet ANOTHER scene where Pee wee's in drag. You know what the
professors say about that? I'm quoting here: "The homosexual subtext of
cross-dressing the implicitly queer Playhouse-as-closet, etcetera,
etcetera." Hey, did you guys recognize Elvira as one of the biker mamas?
And speaking of late-night women, it's time once again for "Joe Bob's Jail
Break," where we read letters from our great country's prisons. [enters]
And to help us out is the TNT Mail Girl herself, Rusty. So what do you
think about that egghead who says that having a Mail Girl is a pun on
"male" as in male gender?
MAIL GIRL: What?
Do you think we
have a gay subtext?
MAIL GIRL: Joe Bob, your subtext is about as
straight as they come.
Now there's a sentence the graduate
students would have a field day with.
MAIL GIRL: By the way, is
that your foot, or are you just happy to see me?
Both.
MAIL GIRL: Oh, I get it.
In honor of Pee wee.
Have
you ever kissed a girl on the mouth?
MAIL GIRL: Here's a letter,
by the way, from Allen Breckenridge at the Buckingham Correctional Center
in Dillwyn, Virginia.
"Hay Joe Bob,"
I only ask because we
were discussing gay subtext.
"Hay Joe Bob, What's up dude?
"I was watching the movie 'Carrie' and man those ladies look real
good. I really am glad they have someone who knows what narrating is. When
Gilbert Gouthery [sic] was narrating he sounded like he was retarded, his
voice was so earatateinly that I wouldn't watch the show.
"You are
a real cool dude.
"I'm in prison for 100 years and there isn't a
whole lot to watch on TV. Until Saturday nights when I turn on the tube to
watch your programs.
"Let the Mail Lady know I think she is a bomb
and really makes getting mail a real dream come true.
"Well guess
I should go for now but not forever.
"Be cool dude,
"Allen
Breckenridge #142458
"Buckingham Correctional Center, Dillwyn,
Virginia."
That is so sad, isn't it? "I'm in prison for 100 years
and there isn't a whole lot to watch on TV." Life's rough in jail, isn't
it Allen? I don't think your case is gonna help the prison reformers. Look
on the bright side, though -- it can only get better (TV that is).
Preciate the support, 'bud. We love a captive audience. Buckingham
Correctional Center is in Dillwyn, Virginia, population 12,000. Opened in
1982, the prison has 941 medium- security male inmates, with an emphasis
on parole violators and sex offenders. Allen, free your mind and your butt
will follow. But try to do it WITHIN the confines of parole.
[to
Rusty] How many prisoners you think get beat-up if one of em wants to
watch "Pee wee's Big Adventure"?
MAIL GIRL: I don't wanna know.
A hunnerd years. That wasn't shoplifting, was it?
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Commercial Break #6
Shades of Jerry Lewis, right? The WACKY
chase. And I should point out that that was Twisted Sister as the heavy
metal band. Quick, name a Twisted Sister song. [crew] You buncha trailer
trash. All right, let's play this baby out. The high-larious conclusion to
"Pee wee's Big Adventure." Go.
[fading] Twisted Sister is the
official band of all colleges where they have puking your brains out as a
major. And we DO have that available here at "Joe Bob's Summer School."
"PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE"
Outro
James Brolin as the screen version of Pee Wee, with
Morgan Fairchild as Dottie. I'd forgotten that part. Okay, let's review
the plot of "Pee wee's Big Adventure." Bike stolen. Pee wee searches for
bike. Bike recovered. And, uh, that's about it. A big hit in 1985.
Okay, I wanna remind you that next week on "Joe Bob's Summer
School" Body-building 304: Applied Anatomy and Bio- mechanics we'll be
showing works from the early career of Arnold Schwarzenegger, "Conan the
Barbarian" and "Conan the Destroyer." All while working out our gluteus
maximus with fitness expert Karen Voight.
That's it for Pop
Culture 201. I'm Professor Joe Bob Briggs, reminding you that, in the
words of Confucius, man who lives in glass house should change in
basement.
Did you guys hear the one about the guy who goes to a
bar and gets really drunk? I mean really, really, REALLY drunk. When the
bar closes he gets up to go home. As he's stumbling out the door, a nun is
walking down the sidewalk. The guy lurches over to the nun and punches her
in the face. The nun is really surprised, but before she can do or say
anything, he punches her again. This time she falls down. The guy stumbles
over to her and kicks her in the stomach, and then he picks her up and
throws her into a wall. By this time the nun's pretty weak and can't move
very much, so the guy finally leans over, puts his face right next to hers
and says to her, "Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?"
Joe
Bob Briggs, reminding you that the drive-in will never die.
[fading] Two Polish nuns have just arrived in America by boat. One
says to the other, "I hear the people of this country actually eat dogs."
The other nun says, "Odd, but if we shall live in America, we might as
well do as the Americans do." The mother superior nods and points to a hot
dog vendor, and they walk over to the cart and order two dogs. The vendor
wraps the hot dogs and hands em over the counter. The nuns are all excited
and they hurry over to a bench. The mother superior is first to open hers.
She stares at it for a second, and then she starts to blush. She leans
over to the other nun and whispers quietly, "What part did you get?"
Back to Monstervision
Tim Burton bio page
Actual riddle from Pee-wee's Playhouse: "What does a bear do in the woods?"
When Paul Ruebens and the writers got done laughing themselves silly, they came up with this, "A bear goes GRRRRRR in the woods"
Host segment transcript ©1999 Turner Network Television. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved
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