Pearl and the Bee Lady
Mystery Science Theater 3000 presents:

#905:
The Deadly
Bees

Vicky, a British pop sensation, collapses in the middle of a sensational new smash pop hit and is sent by her manager to recuperate on a bee farm. Yes, there was a room available. There, she encounters a depressed bee farmer, Mr. Hargrove, his depressed wife, and an even more depressed dog who can think of nothing but eating. Then there's a despondent tavern-keeper who doubles as a sort of policeman, and a seriously dispirited rival beekeeper who looks like one of those weird kids we all grow up with, only this one is in his forties.
Try as Vicky might, she just can't recuperate in this idyllic setting. The depressed dog is killed by bees, as is the depressed Mrs. Hargrove. Everybody looks pasty and stern, but nobody can figure anything out until the end, when Vicky realizes which of this dispirited bunch is the real killer. She too is almost killed along the way, of course, but she survives. Seems like that should have made me feel better than it did. Odd movie.

Bee Lady aka Cigarette Hag Prologue: A series of "previously on the Satellite of Love" vignettes: "Answer the question, Skel!" Things like that.
Segment One: In the castle, Bobo and Brain Guy are relaxing when the two other Observers suddenly show up and reclaim Brain Guy. Pearl is very, very huffy upon learning that he's leaving.

Segment Two: Crow writes a sonnet to Mrs. Hargrove, aka the "cigarette hag": "I love you, filter, flavor, pack or box."

Crow writes a sonnet Segment Three: Brain Guy packs, and Pearl and Bobo sing him a song to try to get him to stay: "Please staaay, we are your friends, though our brains are not in pans..."

Segment Four: Mike dresses like a bee and tries to communicate like them, with movement. He turns out to be very good at it.

Segment Five: Brain Guy fights off the Observers in a battle of brains and banishes them to Wisconsin, where they must become mortal Packer fans. An odd fellow with a bowler walks through both settings, too.
Stinger: Mrs. Hargrove: "The dog's meat, have you seen it?"

In a way you have to admire the idea that a movie might be centered so purposefully and irretrievably on dreariness, and still presume to hold an audience's attention. It's an old-fashioned notion, I think, or British.
We do seem to have entered a British epoch in MST history. This is not the result of any grand plan, I assure you; it would have been just as easy to have found ourselves with a pile of Venezuelan pictures.
In general very little of what happens around here results from planning. Things just happen, and I find that a good approach to life. Usually everything turns out okay, and when it doesn't if you just wait a little bit, then it does. You may have to adjust your concept of "okay" along the way, but that's healthy.
- Paul Chaplin

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