The others were nestled all snug in their beds,
Visions of sugar-plums danced through Joey's head;
And Lance in his 'kerchief, and Justin in his cap,
Chris had just settled down for another long nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew in a flash,
Except for JC, who went to take a hit from his stash.
"It's beautiful!" marveled Lance of the new-fallen snow
While Justin asked Chris, "Yo, where'd JC go?"
JC joined the others in time to hear,
Lance exclaim, "Look! There's a sleigh and reindeer!"
Joey jumped up and down, "It must be St. Nick!"
Said Chris, "Dude for an old guy, he's lively and quick."
More rapid than Justin's Mercedes they came,
Santa whistled and shouted, called the reindeer by name;
"Now, TOBY! now, BUSTA! now, FUMAN and POOFU!
On, CRACKASS! on, FATTY! on, JEROME and JUJU!"
While the others looked excited, said Justin quite appalled,
"Yo dem reindeer gotz our nicknames! Whasup wit dat y'all?"
High in the heavens as a space cowboy would fly,
They eagerly watched the team blaze through the sky,
So up to the house-top the reindeer they flew,
With the sleigh full of goodies, and St. Nicholas too.
"Oh my God," whispered Joey, "Santa's on our roof."
JC smacked him in the head and said, "No duh, you big goof!"
St. Nicholas came down the chimney with a bound,
"Ahhh!" screamed the guys, as they all turned around.
He was dressed like JC, fur from his head to his foot,
Lance gasped, "Your clothes are all tarnished with ashes and soot!"
"It's alright," assured Santa as he looked through his sack,
Then handed JC ten kilos of crack.
JC's eyes - how they twinkled! And Joey was merry,
He received sundaes, each topped with a cherry!
Justin sat by the Christmas tree, his face all aglow,
As he unwrapped a grooming kit, to manage his fro;
Lance smiled brightly, showing his pearly white teeth,
When he received a new apron and a decorative wreath;
"Thanks for the Ritalin," said Chris, poking Santa in the belly,
"And for the soap and shampoo so Busta won't be smelly."
"You're chubby and plump," Chris told the jolly old elf,
"Yeah!" agreed Joey, "Just like myself!"
JC, Lance and Justin all frowned in dread,
But Santa just winked, and shook his head.
"You all are so talented, but act like such jerks,
Be nice to your fans, and keep up the charity work."
And with that advice, he touched the side of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
Santa hopped on his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
"Stay Crunk!" shouted Justin, as they took off like a missile.
And they heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
