Super Hero Name: The Nocturnal Crusader
Super Powers:
1) The nocturnal crusader helps lonely desperate women find love in their life...if only for one night. But, he may have to fight his enemy "Super Paternal Testing" 9 months down the road.
2) The ability to eat large amounts off food in a short amount of time. The eating of food grosses out his enemies so much that they will eventually kill themselves.
3) He also has the ability to call Superman for help because of all the crappy pawn shop merchandise he owns. This enables Superman to come and kick the enemies ass for him.
Super Hero Name: The Dorkanator
Super Powers:
1) The Dorkanator plays an intricate role in the lives of former dorks. He helps them to overcome their fear of being not-so-cool. He lets them know that with a little bit of hair dye, a hair cut that does not require a bowl, and some snappy clothes, that they too can be considered "cool" (hey if it worked for him, it could work for anyone!)
2) He has the ability to transform himself into a women in . 01 seconds flat. The ability to change into a women gives him the power to seduce men and the power to change back into a man gives him the ability to seduce women. He can overcome anyone this way.
3) He also has the power to hypnotize. By staring at you with his bright green eyes and repeating over and over in his deep monotone voice: "Girl were you alone. I'm from Mississippi. Girl were you alone. I'm from Mississippi." This gives him complete mind control.
Super Hero Name: The Incredible Dreadman
Super Powers:
1) The ability to transform those nasty dreads into nastier dreads. This stuns the enemies and puts them in shock because they have never seen anything so ugly. Then he can proceed to call the proper authorities
2) Although most people would think "Dreads" is a reference to his hair, there is actually a deeper meaning. Dreadman paralyzes his foes by telling lame ass jokes which they "dread" to hear. The foes are overcome with his stupidity and surrender.
3) Bring that Dreadman rarely bathes, he also has the power to shake himself and creat big piles of dust. He throws this dust into the eyes of his foes, temporarily blinding them. This gives him a chance to tie them up with his weave and defeat them.
Super Hero Name: Captain Cracknuts™ (Cracknuts is a registered trademark of Nikki's from the wonderful website "Got Justin?")
Super Powers:
1) He is able to shoot cra . . . um . . . sugar at his enemy. (After he has some himself, of course) This magic sugar makes his enemies delusional. The sugar is so magic when the cops take blood test the sugar shows up as crack and they are in jail for years to come.
2) Cracknuts™ fights off his biggest enemies with his flailing arm movements and spastic body motions making it impossible for the dentists to keep them in that damn chair. These movements also have been known to knock eyes out.
3) Another power this boy wonder holds is the ablility to appear invisible. Being that he weighs only 13 pounds, he can hide behind a matchstick and the enemies can't find him. (Unless they spot his nose.)
Super Hero Name: The Fro Avenger
Super Powers:
1) The Fro Avenger helps others with naturally curly hair conquer thier own worst enemy......frizz. He supplies them with Frizz-ease and techniques to overcome the dreaded Dr. Humidity.
2) The ability to speak in ebonics so quickly that it confuses the enemies so they try to figure out what he said. While they are trying to comprehend all that info he just breaks out into some high class dance moves which in time destroys his enemies. After he kicks there asses he jumps in "Da Benz fo da hunnies"! Justice has been served.
3) Being that the Avenger is never without a mirror. If he can pull himself away from admiring himself, he holds his mirror at an angle to send sunlight shooting into the eyes of his enemies. This is quite painful.
This girl has the power of spraying the Freaknasty Five with silicone. It removes their make-up, making them ugly. Therefore they are forced into seclusion.
Another trait that makes her deadly is her singing. When she opens her mouth, the sounds that come out are very painful to the ears of our heroes. She is tough to beat, although the Fro Avenger has found ways to "handle" her.
Much like his name states, this enemy is against Top 40 Music. This brings fear to our heroes. Anti Top 40 Man has been known to chase the boys all over the galaxy with his "boom box" belting out the lines of KoRn, Limp Bizkit, Tragically Hip, and Garbage. This music can kill out Top 40 sensations very quickly. They best beware ANTI TOP 40!
