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Lou and Justin on AOL

As much as AOL doesn't like me, it still let's me have fun sometimes.

For all of you that don't know, if you have AOL you get this nifty little profile to fill out. People can then search the member directory, and if they search for words that are in your profile, BINGO! You come up as a result. Now, my profile gets pretty boring after awhile saying "Brit" and all that stuff, so I took the cue off of Amy, and changed mine.. to our dear old Justin Timberlake. The profile was OBVIOUSLY fake.. one of the hobbies was "thrusting" but I still received over 100 emails in the 10 hours I had this as my profile. Now.. the GOOD part. I, Brittany, am the owner of the AOL address Lou Pearlman@aol.com. Do not ask me HOW I was able to get it.. I really thought it would be taken. Right now old Lou's mailbox has well over 300 emails in it! But, the story gets much better.

Between my Justin profile, Amy's Justin profile, Nikki's JC profile, and Lou's profile, we have been having a blast with AOL. Let me give you the details.

We'll start with my Justin profile:

Profile For: A Giddy Up

Member Name: Justin Timberlake

Location: Orlando, Florida, USA

Birthdate: 1/31/81

Sex: Male

Marital Status: I'm single and ready to mingle!!!

Hobbies: Basketball, baby. Thrusting, collecting sneakers and various articles of FUBU merchandise.

Computers: Laptop

Occupation: Singer, dancer, sometimes songwriter, and aspiring actor.

Personal Quote: We gone get dis crunk. This screen name is not maintained by me. It is just for my fans to find me. Please send all email for me to: LouPearlman@aol.com and he will forward it to me. (Even though we are in the midst of a label change) Thanks and Stay 'N Sync! - J

Now c'mon people, that is SO obviously NOT Justin, right? Regardless, people felt the need to email me.. after a lot of thought, I came up with this as a reply.
[[This is a computer generated letter. Do not reply or you will receive it again]]

Thanks for emailing Justin! As it says in the profile, for Justin to actually get your email you must write to Lou Pearlman@aol.com and he will forward the email to the guys. This email address is just so Justin's fans can find him, he does not personally check this one.
Thanks and stay 'N Sync!

'N Sync & Fans United
Getting the guys in touch with fans since 1998
The Official 'N Sync Website

Oh dear Lord.. am I evil or what?? Yep, but I don't care. This makes the kids really believe this, when they see the "computer generated" email. LOL.. damn, that's funny. Wanna see a sample of some of the email "Justin" recieived? Sure ya do!!
justin,
hey..my names _____ (guess u can tell by the sn). well n e ways..i just wanted 2 let u know i am the biggest nsync fan! i luv u guys. u'r the best dancers and singers in the world! i vote 4 u guys on trl everyday! i betta keep this short cuz u probably have a bunch of e-mail so..bye! pleeeez e-mail back! or call..(555)555-5555, im from miami fl.
_______

p.s.
i went 2 u'r concert on may15...
it wuz da bomb!

(Girls, a note from me.. DO NOT give out your phone number on the internet!! She really had hers in there!)

dear justin,
hi my name is _______ i live on the state line of memphis and olive branch i got to go to your concert at the permid in down town memphis. i was the one scremmig the loudest I LOVE JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i went with my sister(15) and her best friend ______ (16) i almost started to cry whan you sung god must have spent a little more time on you and he must have cuz guys dont come as hot as you. i am also going to send you a picture of me i will understand if you do not im me or email me but i really am hoping and praying that you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_______

hear you go. oh ya my # is 555-5555 use it <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

(There was her picture attached to it too. Hehehe. I can post it and publicly humilate this girl, but I'm nice like that so I won't)

Onto Lou's profile.... (keep in mind I had to put the members of all the NSYNCer's in there somehow.. or it wouldn't show up in a search)

Profile For:Lou Pearlman
Member Name: Louis J. Pearlman
Location: Orlando, Florida, USA
Sex: Male
Occupation: TransContinental Records. Gave groups such as 'N Sync, Backstreet Boys and LFO their start.
Personal Quote: You have to spend money to make money. I will forward mail to Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, Rich Cronin, Brad Fischetti, and Devin Lima but please do not expect a speedy reply, they are very busy. Thank You.

It only gets better from here... here is a sample of some of Lou's email. (His mail only had 3 different type: For Justin, get me a job, or "You Fat Bastard".. lol
Dear Mr. Pearlman,
I saw a television program recently about you and your company TransContinental records. I understand you are the driving force behind NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys and that you are always searching for new talent. We have been working with three boys ages 12 - 13 that have their own band. These three boys are the hottest group between Charlotte and Atlanta. they are awesome. The young people love them, and the parents are absolutely amazed by their talent. They played recently at the Peace Center in Greenville, SC, and walked off stage to a standing ovation. Their drummer who is 12 yrs. old has been playing since he was 2. Their lead guitarist is 13 yrs. old. His guitar teacher said he will be the next Johnny Lang if not better. The bass player, also 13 yrs. old, is extremely talented. The only thing these boys need is someone like yourself to lead them and direct them into the right direction. Their parents are willing to send them to your studio in Florida to let you hear and watch them. We can send a CD, VHS, picture, demo tape, etc. These young men would definitely meet the young market that you're targeting towards. Please contact the guitarist's father ____ _____ at (555) 555-5555 during the day, and evenings at (555) 555-5555. If your schedule permits, i would really appreaciate a rapid response.

Sincerely,
___ _____

(Ok, got the number down.. I'll be sure to have Lou call you ASAP buddy)

Dear Mr. Pearlman, I saw you on ABC, (I think it was) the other day. Just wanted to let you know, you've done a great job putting together *N Sync. They are my favorite.

I might have you forward some e-mail to them for me in the future, but for now, I have to ask about a couple of e-mail addresses which I found through the AOL Member Directory. I found one for Justin, and I was wondering if ......

A Giddy Up@aol.com, was a valid e-mail address for Justin?

(hehehehehe.. gee guys, IS IT VALID??)

ChrisF05@aol.com, was a valid e-mail address for Chris?

What I mean is, are these legitimate e-mail addresses/screen names for the real people?

Please reply as promptly as possible, or, whenever you get a chance.

Sincerely,
_________@aol.com

(Next, we get to MY personal favorites, the fat bastard emails..)

Dearest Louie, *Dearest Louie.. LMAO! That's good.. mad props to this girl!*

I just wanted to write you and let you know how utterly upset I am with you, Johnny "Satan's Right Hand Man" Wright, and Trans-Con in general. You have worked these boys to the point of sheer exhaustion (ie, Lance's near-fatal brush with death, which was featured in none other than the EXAMINER) and turned them into your little puppets. Ah, I know what you do. We (*NSYNC fans) know how you make them take photo shoots in the sauna and rub oil on you, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. We know how you make them do cheesy handmoves over and over again, and then when they forget one, you "scold them" with a nice, raw spanking. We KNOW how Innosense got their jobs. It wasn't talent, that's for sure. So anyway, that's about all. YOU SUCK!

Sincerely, and say "HI!" to the boys,
________

*Ya think that's funny? Wait'll you read this next one.. hehe*

you are fat and jolly......................... and you probably smell like LARD!!! HO HO HO.... Are you familiar with the term.. TWINKY.... I think i saw a couple under your chin. You need help losing weight.... Nsync and BSB left you because you smell like CAT ASS... Lose weight feel great. And remember, no matter what the stripper tells you, there is no SEX ... for fat ass lards like you.. and stop following me to the litter box, i dont like MARMALAID!! Lata Days

*That is just classis. Read it again. It's funny the 2nd time too*

Moving right along, we go to Amy's profile for Justin. (When we do our "private chats" with Justin, Lou, JC, and fans, I very well can't play Lou and Justin.. can't be online twice! So, Amy plays Justin.) But.. we'll get to our chats later.

Profile For: Stayrashin
Member Name: JRT
Location: Orlando, FL
Birthdate: 1/31/1981
Sex: Male
Marital Status: Single and Ready to Mingle
Hobbies: Dancing, Thrustin, Being Sexy
Occupation: Singer, dancer, musician, songwriter, aspiring actor
Personal Quote: Ya like that don'tcha!

She receives a LOT of mail, so she had to change the name to JRT instead of Justin Timberlake. Most of her mail is marriage proposals, none were available at press time.

Finally, we bring you the crackmaster himself. JC's profile, courtesy of Nikki
Profile For: Shhhuzay
Member Name: JC Shhhhuzay
Location: Originally from MD, but now livin large on a phat motorhome *Yes, people read that and STILL believe she is JC. Asses.*
Birthdate: August
Sex: Male
Marital Status: Living out my beach fantasy
Hobbies: Dancing, Singing, Spazzing out occasionally
Occupation: Prodigal singer/Dancer/Bein a Thug
Personal Quote: Are you feeling my Timbs, my baggy jeans, my Thug Appeal?
Now, you are wondering how we have so much fun right? Well, we have dear old Louie invite fans for private chats. Heheh.. To read a transcript of one of the chats, featuring "Lou and Justin" click the linkie below!

A Chat With Lou, Justin, and some idiots.