Lance Bass is sitting at the small kiddy table next to the large picnic bench, when he looks up to see some familiar faces stepping out of a Benz near by.
Lance: JC, Joey, Chris, Justin, what are you guys doin' here?
Chris: Joey stuck his head out the sunroof and smelled some food so we followed the smell.
JC: That one was actually funny.
Joey:Yea, that was so..............wait a minute!!!
Justin: Yo Lancie boy, is mah Benz gonna be ok ova der?
Lance: No, my 11 year old cousin might steal it.
Justin: Forreal? Dayum.. I gotsta move it right?
JC: He was being sarcastic.
Chris:Yea sarcastic, duh?
Joey: Now that was funny. Justin, don't you know what sarcastic is?....hahaha
Justin: At least ah can spell it, tubby!
Lance:Actually I was serious, you might wanna move it.
(Justin takes off towards the car to kiss it quick and recheck the locks and alarm system)
Lance: So you guys wanna stay? I mean now that you're here... You can help yourself to anything.
Joey: Yea baby! I'll have some of them corn muffins to start, what are those grit things ya'll like to eat down here, I'll try some of dat! WAIT!!! Who is that FINE blonde over there??
Lance: That's my sister you retard!
Joey:Oh, so you can introduce me, just think if we got married I'd be your brother!
Lance: NO! When I said, 'help yourself to anything', I didn't meant it like that.
(JC and Chris sit down at the picnic bench. Joey walks towards Lance's sister and Lance sits down next to the other children)
JC: Hi, you must be Lance's parents?
Diane Bass: Yea, we're very proud of our James.
JC and Chris: Who's James?
Diane Bass:That's our son!
JC: *confused* Wait!?!? Lance has a brother AND a sister?
Chris: *even more confused* Or is your daughter's name, James?
Jim Bass: James is Lance! You FOOLS! He's right you aren't very bright or funny.
Chris: Why thank you!
JC: That wasn't a complimet...
Lance: Hey you guys come here I'll introduce you to everyone.
(Justin's baby blue ass finally arrives to run over and join the others)
Lance:This is my cousin and brother-in-law, Roy. He said he can run cameras on tour for us.
Joey: Wait a minute!! How can he be your cousin and your brother-in-law? And, MY brother runs cameras on tour.
(Stever pops his head out of Joey's ass)
Stever: Dat's right! I do!
JC: OMG just don't speak, stand there and be silent.. both of you.
Joey: *big grin on his face* OK!
(Stever pops his head back in Joey's ass)
Lance: This is my uncle Lou, you already know him.
Chris: So that's how he got in the group!!
Lance: ...and this is my oldest cousin, Earl.
Justin: Yo how old be dat boy or should ah say old man?
Lance:He's the oldest, he's 35.
Justin: He gots no teeth.
JC: Some one gonna help him with that corn and mashed potatoes.
Lance: I wish my youngest uncle was here you'd love him, he's so cool and the real brains in the family.
JC: Well why isn't he here?
Lance:He's a politician, you've probably heard of him.
Chris:This is when you tell us his name.
Lance:Let me think.........it's............ummmm....
Justin:Yo foo! What his name be?
Lance: I forgot it, I'm not very good at remembering stuff.
(Justin turns to JC and Chris)
Justin:Yea, like dance moves.
Lance:What was that??? I got my belt out back!
Justin: Nothing, just that a short memory is typical in this busy business.
Lance:Dan Quelle!
Justin: Hey! Don't call me names, you can beat me but don't call me names, Ah'm not Joey, yagotdat boy?!
Joey:Yea you tell him Justin..........wait a minute.
(Joey starts to ponder this)
Lance:No, that's my uncle's name, the politician.
JC: HAHAHAHAHA! He's your uncle?! HAHAHAHAHA!
Chris:That explains a lot!
Lance: *turns towards everyone* I think that's why I choose to forget it.
Justin:Yea "choose to"..........HAHAHAHA!
Lance: THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sick of your lip, I may split it!
(Justin turns and takes off towards the Benz, Lance takes off after him screaming about being the real blonde)
Joey:Yea! Score! I'm gonna go talk to his sister again, if I could just remember her name, oh well it don't matter I know ways around it.
(Joey walks over to Lance's sister and starts talking to her, Chris and JC watch as she quickly slaps him straight across the face and Joey falls to the ground)
Chris:What, was she mad that you don't remember her name?
Joey:That, among other things.
JC:What else could she possibly have against you?
(Joey points over to the picnic table at a little boy with bright red hair hitting on a little girl)
JC: WHAT?? Joey you even had sex with Lance's sister! Can't you just stay commited to one girl?
Chris:Ha!! He doesn't even know what committed means, man.
JC:That's good Chris, see those joke books and all the late shows I tape are working.
Joey:Oh shut up, the only thing you two are committed to is your Playstation and your drug dealer.
JC:At least mine's a person.
Chris:Yea, and a man, what's next? Gonna date Lance, are ya?
Joey:Hey guys, here's a tip for both of you, why don't we go help Justin, 'cuz I think Lance is gonna run him over with his own car.
JC: Damnit that's our ride!
Joey, Chris and JC take off after Lance who was chasing Justin around and around in the Benz. No one at the party ever noticed they were gone.. and at press time the chase was still continuing
