Playland Pranksters
Nikki tore at her hair. "You guys need to expend some serious energy cause you're making me nuts. If I take you to McDonalds to play, will you puleeze promise to act civilized?" After a chorus line of "WE PROMISE!!" , she called ahead to check business. No need to take chances.
"It's been a really slow day, ma'am, so I think you can chance it." The manager reassured her.
After a nerve racking car ride featuring endless chants of, "Quit touching me!", "Leave the radio alone!", and "Stay on your side of the car!" she believed she was on the verge of committing mass murder when they finally arrived.
"Everybody out!" she yelled needlessly. "And remember, you eat first or no toy!"
After five happy meals had been destroyed and the remains cleared away, the five boys went to play. Nikki, relieved, sat down to read her book. Her peace and quiet was short lived as a mere ten minutes later she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"What do you want from me Lance?"
"I want to go home. Noone will play with me."
"Well, go slide. You have to do that by yourself anyway."
"I can't cause the green slide makes me dizzy and Joey's blocking the pink slide!"
"Well tell him I said to get out of the way. This isn't rocket science!"
"You don't understand. I said he's blocking it, as in he's stuck just inside it and he can't move."
"Calgon take me away." she whispered to herself before turning back to Lance's problem. "So go play in the ball pit."
"No fun. Justin threw all the balls into the street and it looks like he peed in the pit."
She screamed. "JUSTIN! Why did you throw all the balls into the street?!?"
"I WANTED TO SEE BUSTA DODGE THE CARS!" he yelled back.
"Have mercy." She shook her head and yelled again. "Chris, get your dog before Justin kills him!" Upon receiving no answer, she turned back to Lance.
"Is Chris gonna spend the entire day in the bathroom again? I told him not to take his Metamucil when we're going somewhere."
"Actually no." Lance answered with his head bowed. "Turns out that Busta was better at dodging the cars than Chris was. He had gotten alot slower of late."
"Sweet JESUS!" Nikki screamed. There would be alot of screaming now. "Where's Jayce? I need his phone!" "He's blocked himself into the bubble with that plastic Fryguy and he won't let me in." Lance shrugged.
"JAYCE I NEED THE PHONE! CHRIS IS DEAD!" she yelled above her head.
"NO WAY! I'M SINGING TO MY MACHINE! YOU CAN HAVE IT WHEN I'M DONE!" he yelled back. She heard him singing softly, "Oh why, oh why did you say goodbye...my beautiful babay Fryguyyyyy..."
"That's it. I'm never talking to you morons again. Lance, go play with yourself in the bathroom, I could give a shit. I'm leaving!" And with that Nik made a vain attempt at storming out of a revolving door, only to be smacked in the ass by an oversized Grimace. She could stand the humiliation no more, and ran away screaming, "LOCK ME UP! I WON'T FIGHT THAT STRAIT JACKET ANYMORE! I PROMISSSSSSSSSEEEE!"
Lance turned and assessed the situation. "Who's gonna take care of us now?" he wondered silently as tears filled his eyes. His only reply were Joey's screams of pain as Justin tried to dislodge him...by kicking him repeatedly in the head.
"Get the hell out yo! I wanna slide now damnit!"
Jayce joined in. "Lemme try! I'm wearin my special Joey kickin Timbs!"
Justin yelled, "Hey Lance! Come help us kick Joey outta the slide!"
"You mean I can play with you guys?" Lance brightened right up.
Yes, now hurry damnit cause mah legs is gettin tired!" As Lance ran to play 'kick the fatty', he knew they'd all live happily ever after...
...except for Joey, who suffered complete and permanant brain damage, a flat head, and a disfiguring bootheel shaped scar in his forehead...
...and Chris, who they never found enough of to positively identify...
The three remaining members converged taking the FOURTH letters of their FIRST names and were henceforth known as...'THC' ** THE END
