I was never a bandwagon fan. I can honestly say I've been a fan since the beginning of their careers. The imprint the group has left on my life cannot be explained without touching on their hardships and accomplishments. Their story is directly tied to mine.

The Mickey Mouse Club (MMC) used to be one of my favorite TV shows, and JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake were cast members. Shortly after the series was canceled, the group formed and made their start in Europe and Asia. Around that time, my cousin in the Philippines used to send me verbal letters on cassette tape. In one of her letters, she told me about this group called *NSYNC and included the song, "Tearin' Up My Heart."

I was hooked, even before I saw a picture of the guys or made the connection back to the MMC. Their music and vocal harmonies were incredible. More letters and songs followed, and I looked forward to receiving them. My senior year of high school, supposedly the best in one's high school experience, was anything but. My cousin's words and *NSYNC's music were two small sources of happiness for a while.

The group began to establish themselves stateside around the time I was making the transition into college. In a way, both the band and I were trying to fit in some place. *NSYNC wanted to be successful in America, and I wanted to be successful in college. Following their lead, I kept working. As they continued to tour, shoot music videos, and make media appearances, I kept studying and started a part-time job.

Although I was busy, I continued to support my favorite group. I started to keep up with news via the Internet and discovered numerous fan sites. I was impressed by others' creativity and dedication, especially one girl in particular. Brittany ran a humor site that poked fun of *NSYNC. I admired her devotion and appreciated her sense of humor and perspective, as we were the same age. I emailed her, complimenting on her work, and we kept in touch afterward.

On the surface, all seemed well for the boyband and the girl, but looks can be deceiving. *NSYNC became entangled in a legal battle, and I was fighting a war of my own. Senior year had left me more jaded than I realized, and I began to question my past decisions, my relationships, and myself. The group eventually settled the lawsuit out of court, leaving behind the manager and record label that had done them wrong. I learned I also needed to resolve my past. I, too, let go of the relationships and attitudes that were preventing me from moving forward.

*NSYNC turned their tribulations into a musical feat, still unmatched by any other artist. Their album, No Strings Attached, set the one-week sales record by moving 2.4 million copies in its first week. Likewise, I tried to be positive and productive. I was still uncertain about my future, so I focused on the present. Outside of school and work, I found myself writing again, finding the most inspiration from the band. I began writing fan fiction and, through my correspondence with Brittany, humor stories.

I had never considered myself funny, but she insisted I was a natural. As I continued to write, I grew into my sense of humor. Brittany had so much confidence in my ability that when she made the decision to leave her website, she entrusted it to me. Her faith in me helped me regain my faith in others, something I had lost during my final year in high school.

I recruited six other girls to work on the site with me. Each had a love for writing and had been moved or inspired in some way by the band. Together, our creativity flourished. I hadn't enjoyed writing or been inspired in what seemed like ages. Our devotion to the group also deepened, and when they embarked on their PopOdyssey Tour in support of their album, Celebrity, we let ourselves get swept up in the madness.

I spent the majority of the summer traveling, keeping up with *NSYNC and making arrangements to meet with the girls. Among our numerous adventures was meeting various people associated with the band. Encounters with the guys were unforgettable, but learning about management and the crew gave us an even deeper sense of appreciation and respect for teamwork. We had several opportunities to see past the bright lights and bodyguards, and I remember thinking, "I want to be a part of this." The experiences inspired me, and I finally realized what direction to move in career-wise.

Shortly after I returned home that summer, the world was changed by the terrorist attacks of September 11. The tragedies forced me to rethink what was truly important in my life. I reflected on the past few years, especially that summer. I realized that I had mismanaged my priorities. While I was deeply devoted to the band, I had simply spent too much of my time and money on them. I cringed at the thought of how much the concert tickets, airfare and gas money, accommodations, CD's, magazine covers, and other merchandise would total. I started to regret the time, energy, and money I had put into the group but later realized that this was yet another lesson I had to learn.

The following year, the band declared their hiatus, and I couldn't help but think back over the past few years. I recalled those who had judged me or mocked me or challenged me by asking, "Why?" Why do I love *NSYNC? They have been my friends. They were tough on me when they needed to be, teaching me a painful lesson about priorities and the consequences of mismanaging my time and money. They motivated me to work hard and helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. If not for them, I never would have met or forged friendships with my six coeditors, relationships akin to sisters.

Because of *NSYNC, I've traveled the United States and Canada, opening my eyes to new places and revisiting old favorites. Those guys saw me through some rough times and sparked in me the desire to write again. They helped me find something, the website, to occupy my life while I figured out my destined course. By being themselves, the group brought out hidden aspects of my personality, particularly my sense of humor. I discovered my playful side, realized what it is to be young at heart, and learned not to be bothered by what other people think. My brother once asked me, "When are you going to get over those boys?" No matter how hard I try to push them out, *NSYNC will always be a part of my life.

I recently caught up with JC Chasez backstage before his show. He is currently touring in promotion of his solo album. As we talked, I had a flashback. Ten years ago, I was talking to JC at another meet and greet. He and his fellow cast members were on tour promoting the MMC album. I realized at that moment I - we - had come full circle. His journey through the Mickey Mouse Club and *NSYNC has been directly tied to my own. We have, essentially, grown up together.

*This was originally written in May 2004, as a cause-and-effect essay for my spring composition class. It has been shortened and edited, but I thought the feeling I was trying to capture fit EF's fifth anniversary. I snapped that picture myself at CFTC VI during my Platinum experience. I would appreciate it if you not steal my pictures or plagiarize my writing. So if you see either of these floating around, let me know. Don't make me plaster the tag accross the sparkly. I do not accept messages at the email on the tag; click my signature to drop me a line. Thanks! -OJC!®