Need a Good Cry? I Certainly Did.

This week, I listened to a song, and it brought tears to my eyes.  I was not surprised.  I am almost always brought to tears listening to "Hope for Resolution" ⁽¹⁾  from the album "Christmas at Luther". ⁽²⁾  What I did not expect was how much better the tears made me feel. 

I have had a stressful week.  This is the sort of stress which causes one to get grouchy, say things one later regrets and then agonizes over, causing stress to heap upon itself.  Once I started looking at why crying was making me feel better, I realized that I had not yet internalized the remorse I wanted to feel about the way I had treated others.  I had also not given myself permission to feel bad about how I had been mistreated, and about the unfairness of life in the corporate world.  And so, when I heard this piece of music, and the tears welled up, as they typically do, those little droplets did double or triple duty.  They expressed my feelings about the music, but they washed the stress of unrealized sorrow away, as well.

This experience was an epiphany of sorts.  I realized that a good cry, or at least a few well timed tears, could help me deal with stress.  And I need as many stress reduction tools as I can get.  We all do, don't we?

Now, I am not the typical old fashioned male who thinks "Men don't (or shouldn't) cry."  I have cried on occasion.  My life is pretty good, so I don't have many reasons to cry -- at least not with tears of sorrow.  And, truth be told, things do not affect me emotionally as much as they affect others.  So, I have not experienced the cathartic nature of tears as often as some people have.  As I thought about the "Hope for Resolution" experience, then, I said to myself  "Perhaps this 'discovery' was more personal than I first realized."

You see, what seemed strange was that the "Hope for Resolution" tears were not really tears of sorrow, yet they clearly helped me deal with sadness.  "Hope for Resolution" is the final piece which was done in the Yuletide program, an annual Christmas concert at Luther featuring all of its classical music ensembles, in 2002.  That year, my oldest son, Adam, was a member of one of the choirs.  Now, the piece of music itself is powerful and moving; perhaps on its own, it might bring some people to tears.  For me, the musical beauty mixed with pride, nostalgia and love to create a powerful memory.  I was so proud to see Adam standing up in the choir loft, clothed in his tux, smiling and singing.  I felt nostalgic for my days in Luther choirs, and for the days when Adam was just a boy, not a young man.  And, of course, the love I feel for Luther College is quite strong, but small compared to the love I feel for Adam, and for the three children I have yet to send there. 

I associated tears with grief, or remorse, but here I was crying with joy and love.  Yet the "good feeling" tears helped wash away the stress of the "bad feelings" which were weighing me down.  I resolved to make a conscious effort to discover, and treasure, experiences like this.

And so, today, I am thankful.  Thankful for the piece of music, for the men and women who performed it, for the people and God who inspired it, and especially for Adam and my children, who added so much to its meaning for my life.


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⁽¹⁾ The piece "Hope for Resolution" was composed by Sean Ivory and Paul Caldwell.  It has a moving history, which can be found many places on the web.  Here is one of those places.
⁽²⁾ This album can be purchased from DJ Records, which has a collection of Luther College Choir music.