I suppose there are people in the world who are not like me.
OK, I know there are, but bear with me.
When you have to meet a new person, would you rather just leave the room? When called into a meeting where there will be conflict, would you like to develop a sudden illness and go home? When a new, tough assignment gets dropped on you, would you rather just quit your job, cash out your assets, and move to desert island?
Yeah, me too.
It's amazing to me how many people see me as confident and decisive.
Why am I amazed? Because I have to push myself so hard to act that way.
The thing is, I think most people feel like I feel, given similar situations. I suppose there are people who are honesty as decisive as I act; who feel no fear in facing new people, even people considerably higher on their corporate ladder. Swimming with the sharks comes naturally for them. Me? I have learned to Get Over It, take a deep mental breath, and dive in.
Admittedly, I have an advantage. I am pretty confident in my intelligence, and usually in my knowledge. I know there are people who don't have that confidence.
But when it comes to true fearlessness, it's something I have to coax, summon, or just plain fake.
Then again, if they can't tell you're faking, then they assume it's the real you. And then they treat you as if you are confident. And that makes it easier to pretend.
Then, truth be told, pretending becomes reality for some situations. After a few repetitions, a reputation gets developed.
And then you have to live up to it.
And it starts all over again!