Need a Good Cry? I Certainly Did.
This week, I listened to a song, and it brought tears to my eyes.
I was not surprised. I am almost always brought to tears
listening to "Hope for Resolution"
(1) from the album
"Christmas at Luther".
(2)
What
I did not expect was how much better the tears made me feel.
I have had a stressful week. This is the sort of stress which
causes one to get grouchy, say things one later regrets and then
agonizes over, causing stress to heap upon itself. Once I started
looking at why crying was making me feel better, I realized that I had
not yet internalized the remorse I wanted to feel about the way I had
treated others. I had also not given myself permission to feel
bad about how I had been mistreated, and about the unfairness of life
in the corporate world. And so, when I heard this piece of music,
and the tears welled up, as they typically do, those little droplets
did double or triple duty. They expressed my feelings about the
music, but they washed the stress of unrealized sorrow away, as well.
This experience was an epiphany of sorts. I realized that a good
cry, or at least a few well timed tears, could help me deal with
stress. And I need as many stress reduction tools as I can
get. We all do, don't we?
Now, I am not the typical old fashioned male who thinks "Men don't (or
shouldn't) cry." I have cried on occasion. My life is
pretty good, so
I don't have many reasons to cry -- at least not with tears of
sorrow.
And, truth be told, things do not affect me emotionally as much as they
affect others. So, I have not experienced the cathartic nature of
tears as often as some people have. As I thought about the "Hope
for Resolution" experience, then, I said to myself "Perhaps this
'discovery' was more
personal than I first realized."
You see, what seemed strange was that the "Hope for Resolution" tears
were not really tears of sorrow, yet they clearly helped me deal with
sadness. "Hope for Resolution" is the final piece which was done
in the Yuletide program, an annual Christmas concert at Luther
featuring all of its classical music ensembles, in 2002. That
year, my oldest son, Adam, was a member of one of the choirs.
Now, the piece of music itself is powerful and moving; perhaps on its
own, it might bring some people to tears. For me, the musical
beauty mixed with pride, nostalgia and love to create a powerful
memory. I was so proud to see Adam standing up in the choir loft,
clothed in his tux, smiling and singing. I felt nostalgic for my
days in Luther choirs, and for the days when Adam was just a boy, not a
young man. And, of course, the love I feel for Luther College is
quite strong, but small compared to the love I feel for Adam, and for
the three children I have yet to send there.
I associated tears with grief, or remorse, but here I was crying with
joy and love. Yet the "good feeling" tears helped wash away the
stress of the "bad feelings" which were weighing me down. I
resolved to make a conscious effort to discover, and treasure,
experiences like this.
And so, today, I am thankful. Thankful for the piece of music,
for the men and women who performed it, for the people and God who
inspired it, and especially for Adam and my children, who added so much
to its meaning for my life.
==========================================
(1) The piece "Hope for Resolution" was composed by
Sean Ivory and Paul Caldwell. It has a moving history, which can
be found many places on the web. Here is one of those places.
(2) This album can be purchased from DJ Records, which has a collection of
Luther College Choir music.