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1:00 am Alarm clock rings 2:00 am Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 2:30 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pick-up 3:00 am Leave home for deep woods 3:15 am Drive back home and pick up gun 3:30 am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight 4:00 am Set up camp - Realize that you forgot the damned tent 4:30 am Head out into woods 6:05 am See eight (8) deer 6:06 am Take aim and squeeze trigger 6:07 am "Click" 6:08 am Load gun while watching deer go over the hill 8:00 am Head back to camp 9:00 am Still looking for camp 10:00 am Realize you don't know where the camp is -Noon- Fire gun for help - eat some wild berries 12:15 pm Ran out of bullets - 8 deer come back 12:20 pm Strange feeling in stomach 12:30 pm Realize you ate poison berries 12:45 pm Rescued!! 12:55 pm Rushed to the hospital to have stomach pumped 3:00 pm Arrive back at camp 3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer 4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets 4:01 pm Load gun - leave camp again 5:00 pm Empty gun on squirrel that is really bugging you 6:00 pm Arrive at camp. See deer grazing in camp. 6:01 pm Load Gun 6:02 pm Fire gun 6:03 pm One Dead Truck 6:05 pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer! 6:06 pm Supress strong desire to shoot partner 6:07 pm In doing so, stumble and fall into fire 6:10 pm Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire 6:15 pm Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer in woods 6:25 pm Pick-up boils over - discover bullet hole in radiator 6:26 pm Start walking 6:30 pm Started crying, stumble and fall, drop gun in mud 6:35 pm Meet great big Bear! 6:35 1/2 pm Take aim 6:36 pm Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:36 1/2 pm Lose all control of bodily functions. 6:37 pm Climb tree 9:00 pm Bear departing, wraps gun around the tree 9:03 pm Feeling relieved that bear is gone 9:04 pm Start climbing down the tree 9:05 pm Fall out of tree -Midnight- Home at last -Sunday- Sitting in bed with cast on leg watching TV, slowly tearing hunting license into itty-bitty pieces, place into envelope, mail to the Game Warden with very clear instructions about what to do with it!! |
