I Cannot be Without You

Dana Scully sighed quietly to herself as she stared at the dark, moonlit road ahead of her. Her partner, Fox Mulder, sat next to her in the drivers seat. He was giving her a ride home from their work. They seemed to be the only car on the road that night, except for an occasional car that speed by. Work that day at the FBI had been an uneventful one. She wondered why he was being so quiet. Scully decided to break the silence by turning on the radio. She flipped through the stations; not finding anything worth listening to. She glanced at Mulder, who smiled at her and raised his eyebrows, amused at her fussiness.

"Jeez, Scully. All of those stations and you can't find anything to listen to?" Mulder kidded.

"It's all commercials," Scully complained. She glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. Then she smiled at him. He grinned back.

"Skinner sure looked amused when you told him your Elvis theory", said Scully.

Mulder laughed. "Amused is not the word I would use to describe it. Taken aback is more like it. Or maybe shocked fits better. But I was only kidding him."

Scully laughed and she finally found a staton that was playing good music. She sat back and listened. They sat in silence once more.

Just then a new song came on the radio. It was called Walking After You by the Foo Fighters. Scully and Mulder both sat in silence and listened to the song lyrics. Mulder slowed to stop at a stop sign. When it got to the chorus, their eyes met as they listened.

IF YOU WALK OUT ON ME
I'M WALKING AFTER YOU
IF YOU WALK OUT ON ME
I'M WALKING AFTER YOU

I CANNOT BE WITHOUT YOU
MATTER OF FACT
OHHH-OHHH OHH OH-OH
I'M ON YOUR BACK

Scully thought of how perfectly the song fit her and Mulder. She always wound up back with Mulder, no matter what happened. When their paths strayed from one another's, they always found their place back to together. They had been through so much together....

Mulder also realized how this song fit them so perfectly. He wondered what he would do without Scully; and he thought about how lost he'd be without her. She was his closest friend. And suddenly, he couldn't imagine ever being without her. He was meant to be with her.

Without speaking they knew what each other were thinking. Scully reached out and grabbed Mulders hand. He pulled her close, and they sat at the stop sign, embracing each other. Scully's eyes filled with tears as she thought about all they'd been through together. She didn't know if she could live without Mulder. Mulder's eyes were also moist as he thought about everything that had happened between them. He was grateful that such a wonderful person is part of his life. She is my life, he thought.

They just sat there, holding each other, until a car pulled up behind them. They slowly let go of each other and Mulder quietly started to drive again. Mulder and Scully were still holding hands, and they lightly rubbed their fingers over each other's hands. Scully and Mulder both wished that they would never have to let go, but they soon reached Scully's apartment. They sat in the car for a moment, just holding hands, but then finally Scully gave his hand a final squeeze and got out of the car.

"Good night, Mulder", she said softly.

"'Night Scully", he replied quietly, thoughtfully.

An hour later that night.

Scully sat in bed with her bedside lamp on. She had been trying to sleep for half an hour with no luck. The "events" in Mulder's car kept playing through her head.

Why didn't I just tell him how I feel? she thought. Does he really know how much he means to me?
You're afraid, Dana, she told herself.
You're afraid that he might not love you the way you love him.
But deep down inside, she knew he did.

Scully thought about calling him. But no, she had to tell him her feelings in person. She wished that she could drive over to his house, but her car was in the repair shop. That's why Mulder had driven her to work and back home. So there was nothing she could do right now. She got out of bed and poured herself a glass of milk. She sat at her table, drinking the milk and lost in thought.

Mulder had been driving aimlessly around town for the past hour. He thought about what had happened in his hallway not long ago, and wished more than anything that that damned bee hadn't stung her. It had interupted a moment that Mulder had been wishing for for a long time. But in a way, that bee had brought them closer together. They had gone through their biggest obstacle ever, and had come out alive. They had come out of it together. He felt so strongly towards her, and wondered if she felt that way about him. Suddenly, he knew what to do. He made a u-turn and began driving back to Scully's house. He had to tell her how he felt.

Scully jumped at the sound of someone knocking on her door. At first the noise hadn't even registered; she had been thinking so hard about Mulder.

She sighed, but got up and looked through her peek-hole. Outside she saw a nervous Mulder standing alone in the hallway, waiting to be let in. She was shocked that he had come over to her place that late, but was also pleased. She had wanted to see him so badly after what had happened.

Another knock on the door snapped her back into reality. She unlocked the door and opened it. Mulder quickly stepped in and nervously looked around. He had lost any confidence that he had built up in his car. Scully sat down on her sofa and patted the seat next to her. It was an invitation for Mulder to sit down. He sat.

"Mulder...", Scully began. Now she had the chance to tell him.

Mulder interupted her. "Scully, I- I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked confused.

"For everything. I mean, I leave you behind so I can selfishly chase faceless pursuers, just so I can find my... my 'truth'. I put you in danger for some selfish cause of mine."

"But Mulder... Mulder, no, you aren't selfish, these shadow men hold the truth to your sister, to Melissa, my abduction, to the X-Files," Scully told him. "And I want to be with you every step of the way."

"All the while I've been chasing these people and my little green men, I've never slowed down to stop for what matters most to me," Mulder continued. "And that's you. Scully, you mean everything to me."

Scully sat there next to him, deeply moved. She wasn't sure what to say. She grabbed his hand. Mulder's eyes looked away from her eyes and down at their hands.

"Mulder, you mean everything to me too. You aren't being 'selfish' to want the truth. I want to find it too. And we'll find it together."

Mulder looked up into Scully's eyes. He was touched, and his eyes filled with tears. Their eyes locked. Scully's eyes were also brimming with tears. They leaned towards each other. Mulder gently cupped her face in his hands and she put her arms around his back. Their lips met in a soft and gentle, yet passionate kiss. When their kiss ended, they sat embracing each other, just as they had in the car. Mulder slowly stroked Scully's cheek with his fingers. Scully reached and took his hand in hers. She moved it over her mouth and kissed the palm of his hand. They sat holding each other, not willing to let go.

"Scully," Mulder whispered in her ear. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mulder," she whispered back in his ear.

They both knew, at that moment, that they would always be together.

Well, what did ya think? Please email me and tell me. This is my first fanfic and would love feed back! here is my email: karate_kick@yahoo.com