I understand the topic of sexual abuse in boys/men is taboo and surrounded with stigma and shame. I believe people, especially men, often do not talk about childhood sexual abuse and that trust is huge.

I was very fortunate to have known a young man for three years who was sexually abused at the ages of 11 and 12 by his father. I met him when he was 18 and he committed suicide when he was 21. I miss him every day. He had a huge impact on me and really touched my heart. He taught me what to say and what not to say when I talked to young men who were sexually abused on my message boards on my own site (he had his own site with message boards and made a huge difference by talking to others who'd been abused). He trusted me and even called me mom because his own mom pretty much deserted him and I considered him to be a son to me. He was definitely a part of my family as I talked about him a lot with those close to me. My own son had even sent him a few notes and a drawing. When I learned he had died I mourned for months. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with.

I wanted so badly to go visit him or have him come here but he would have no part in that. He was in college and working but he lived alone. The only person he had as far as family was his brother who was also sexually abused at the same time by their father. Their father was a minister, a man who taught people about God but then turned around and physically and sexually abused his sons. Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a “dad.” My heart breaks for anyone who has been sexually abused, male or female.

I was sexually abused twice when I was in elementary school. I do not remember much of one incident, although for some reason, now I am learning more about it and who did it to me. That person committed suicide when I was about 12 years old. I've been in therapy off and on my whole life trying to make sense of the abuse and for my anxiety and depression. I personally have trust issues and many other difficulties I have to work through. I do intend on winning this war inside of me!

Childhood sexual abuse is a silent and devastating epidemic yet a staggering number of men (and women) live with the lasting effects every day. When I learned that one in six men was molested as a child, it made me sick to my stomach and I knew I had to try and help in some way.

From knowing the young man who committed suicide that I mentioned, he told me everything he dealt with on a daily basis. I couldn’t imagine dealing what he dealt with. He was strong and brave, yet he decided at such a young age that he could not deal with the horrible aftermath of it anymore. He had told me how things he dealt with and one of those is how much they hate what they see in the mirror.

In closing, I’d like to say I do not judge and I do not expect anyone to open up about their past unless they want to. If I can stop anyone from taking their own lives I will. I don’t call the police or tell anyone about you. You are here anonymously and I respect that. I, however, am an open book and you can ask me anything.

Like someone I once knew said…."all we have to do is keep talking!!!"

God Bless you all
Julie