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Chapter 2-HEROLD


Welcome back. This chapter is the second chapter of the book and it is called Chapter 2. Now we get to chill with Herold (pronounced "Herold"). Herold lives on the other side of the island of Shopping-Cartsville and he is the owner of a candy factory that makes official MLB baseballs. He is a very wealthy bologna and he’s rich too! But he has a unique ability, he can pull just about anything out of his pocket! Let’s go hang....

"Good work Miss Balchinanokaklalund. I would like to see you in my office at around noon if you’re not too busy," Herold said.

"Sure. Let me just finish sewing up these 2 million baseball seams and I will be right in!" Miss Balchinanokaklalund, the 6 year old employee, replied.

"Good. Keep up the OK work Miss Balchinanokaklalund," Herold said with a smile.

Herold went into his office on the highest floor of the candy factory and sat to wait for Miss Balchinan…ah, the 6 year old employee. Herold’s office was roomy with one huge window in the center of the floor. There were pictures all over of himself and two or so of his dog Bindwald. Don’t get me wrong, the man is happily, well, maybe not happily, but the man is married and he has 6,000 beautiful children. 2,598 of them ran away, 1,602 of them are in college, 800 of them are in elementary or high school, and the other 1,000 of them are still in their diapers. Herold’s wife is a very cruel and retched old lady who is full of greediness. While Herold, on the other hand, didn’t think money was an issue. But he is in desperate love with himself and his 11 year old dog, Bindwald.

About 5 or 6 minutes later, the 6 year old employee entered Herold’s office and said, "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Huh?" Herold said, now directing his attention toward Miss Balchinanokaklalund, "No, no. I just wanted to see how you look in my office. You look the same. Thank you. Now carry on with your duties."

"OK," she replied, and walked, hunched over, back to the bottom floor.

Toward closing time, Herold went to speak with one of the janitors.

"Excuse me," Herold said to Kidney, the janitor.

"Yes?" Kidney replied.

"No, no, I burped. But there was something I was going to ask you…" Herold pondered out loud.

"What is it sir?" asked Kidney.

"Um…ah, yes," Herold said, "Now, I know you’re a rather poor guy, am I right Kidney?"

"Well, no, not actually sir," Kidney informed him, "I’m really quite rich."

"Oh, Kidpee, let’s not kid ourselves," Herold chuckled, "I’m going to give you a raise."

"But sir, I’m doing this as community service, you don’t pay me," Kidney looked confused.

"Hush now! Don’t argue with me or I’ll fire you! I’m going to raise your pay 2 gold teeth an hour. And you’re invited to dinner at my house tomorrow to talk it over while dining. And for once, please don’t wear that ridiculous monkey of a suit! Why do you wear that everyday anyway?" Herold asked.

"Well, they told me that I was required to…"

"No matter," interrupted Herold, "just be at my house at around 4 o’clock a.m. Well, good night Kidney."

Then Herold pulled a pillow and blanket out of his pocket and laid them out on the icy cold floor of the candy factory, fixing all the crinkles and flaws within it. Herold laid down and went to sleep.

All of the sudden a loud crash was heard in the distance and it woke up Herold. He glanced over at his imaginary friend’s watch and it read 2:41 am. Herold got up quietly so as not to awaken his "friend" and he crept slowly down the black hallway of the factory.

"Kidney," Herold quietly whispered, "was that you? Kidney? Kidney?"

He continued slowly down the hallways, looking for Kidney, he hoped. Then there was another uproar heard in the near distance which startled Herold and caused him to start a steady gallop. Herold dashed every which way until he caught the sound of cracking beneath his feet. He froze of fear instantly and he trembled to get his flashlight which he pulled from his pocket. Once he got it out, he tried to activate it. Just his luck! The batteries were dead! So Herold jammed his fist back into his pocket and yanked out two new batteries and preceded to shove them into the flashlight. When he finally got his flashlight to work, he gently let it’s beam of light hit the ground to inform Herold of what he was stepping on. The cracking commotion was a bag of saltine crackers! Herold’s eyes grew and he let out a blood curtailing scream and he began to panic. Then, as if this incident wasn’t enough, Herold heard the sound of booming foot stomps and heavy breathing coming closer and closer. Herold scurried away from the clamoring until he hit a dead end with no windows, no doors, and just a simple loaded double-barreled shotgun lye there. Herold knew his life was over, there was nothing that could save him now. Every foot step that grew nearer reminded Herold his time was up. And as the thing had finally reached Herold, he shined his flashlight only to find that the thing that had been chasing him was nothing more than his imaginary friend, Billy.

"Billy! You scared the poop out of me!" said Herold.

"I was scared, I had a bad dream," Billy told him.

"Woo! Don’t you ever do that again, gees," the now relieved Herold said, placing his hand on his chest feeling his heart beating obnoxiously against his ribs.

There was yet another sound of pandemonium in the factory.

"Uh oh! This looks like a job for…" Herold began.

"Superman!" Billy yelled joyously.

"Exactly, but since he’s in Florida, we’re going to have to do something ourselves. Think, think, think. What can a rich human that can pull anything out of his pocket and his invincible imaginary friend that has mystical powers do? Hmm…" thought Herold out loud.

"Call the police," suggested Billy.

"OK," Herold replied while taking out his cellular phone from his pocket. He dialed 911 #3 and told the operator what was going on. Then he hung up with the bakery and called 911 and he told that operator what was happening. Approximately three hours later, the police arrived at the factory, and arrested Herold.

"No, no! I’m the guy who called you!" Herold pleaded.

"Sure ya did," the police snickered, "that’s what they all say. So what’s your name then?"

"Herold."

"Then it wasn’t you."

"What?!?"

"The guy who called us said his name was...ah...Ferold...yeah..." the policeman said, looking around to the other policemen for consent. The other policemen just shrugged their shoulders and nodded.

So now, Herold’s in jail. His wife went to the police station and she asked how much the bail would be. The policeman informed her of the cost, and being as greedy as she was, she considered that to be too high of a price to bail out her husband. So, she just left Herold there, in his cell, even though she was a bagillionare, because she did not want to pay 600 gold teeth to bail him out.

In the end, Chapter 2 actually has a sad ending to it. That is, until Herold remembered he had a key that just happened to match his cell lock exactly in his pocket. Herold proceeded to run away, and was never heard from again.

Wait, I take that back, he was heard from again and has his factory is currently up and running to this very day. Sorry, my mistake.


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