Polka-dotted eggs!" yelled Skull, for no apparent reason other than to express his pain in words after being smashed across the face with a huge boulder by Zybon.
Skull drew his sword off his foam belt and let out an obnoxious walrus-like scream. Skull raged his blade at Zybon, but Zybon simply snatched the blade with his hand and hit Skull with what seemed to be some sort of Lego castle. The pieces of the castle shattered across Skull’s face. The powerful "disintegrater of smoke" strolled over to the conquistador and raised him high above his head with his masculine fist. Zybon was readying his knuckles to drive into Skull’s face, again, when he felt a little tug on his purple cloak. He drew his attention down to where a quaint little girl scout stood smiling at him.
"Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?" the little darling asked the monstrous man.
"Why, yes, I would," Zybon replied, drooling noticeably.
"Only 6 gold teeth," the smiling scout informed him.
Zybon threw Skull a good 20 feet, sending him into a tent.
"Well, let’s see," Zybon reached into his deep pocket and he brought out a handful of objects, "I’m sorry, I only have 4 gold teeth, a can of soup, a rubber chicken, 3 children, and 2 whales."
The scouts facial expression dropped and transpired into hatred. She picked up Zybon by his throat and she chucked him on top of Skull, crushing the barbarian. Zybon took a moment to recollect his thoughts then rolled off of the squished conquistador.
"Where are the cookies?" Skull asked, with his crunched face.
Zybon gave him a look of stupidity and he slammed Skull’s skull through the tent they were resting by. Zybon chuckled out loud to himself then got up and walked over to where Skull had been beaten to. Once inside the tent, Zybon noticed a large cheering crowd with a guy in tights hoping around on top of a twelve eyed monkey.
"Can we watch the circus?" Skull asked like a small child.
"No, Captain Retard needs us back on the exit-prise," Zybon noted.
"Oh, rats!" Skull said disappointedly as he crossed his arms.
"Beam us up Scottie J.," Zybon ordered and in no time the 2 rivals, yet sworn protectors of one another, were in a jungle. They glanced around at their environment, confused, when they heard some sliming sounds. They looked at one another then shot an eye behind them and caught the sight of a gigantic slug sliming angrily towards them.
"Scottie, you’ve beamed us to the wrong ocation!!!" Zybon yelled while running in horror.
"Is there a huge slug chasing you?" asked Scottie.
"Yes!" Zybon managed, still leading Skull.
"Just thought I’d ask," Scottie said.
The distressed victims suddenly vanished into thin air and they were planted on the exit-prise. They set off to find Retard’s headquarters. After passing his office several times, they finally found it and were shown right in.
"Gentlemen," said the captain, shaking both their hands and offering them a seat, "Would either of you like some cough syrup pie?"
They both nodded no and continued to do so through out the rest of the conversation.
"We are needed in some type of an emergency assignment I understand?" Zybon asked.
"Yes," Retard said. Just then the phone rang. There was a silence for a while and the captain said, "Right after the meeting then? OK. Thank you, Miss Balchinanokaklalund."
"What is it sir? Are we needed in some sort of crisis that will end the world if we do not succeed?" Skull stood on his chair and he point toward the sky with his sword.
"No, that was just my secretary reminding me that I have ballet lessons in 2 minutes, so I’ll give you a briefing on what it is you’re supposed to do," the captain admitted, "The tree in the direct center of the nuclear power plant is in grave danger! Someone is planning to chop it down! You must save it! I must go receive my lessons now. Good day gentlemen. Do not fail, or you shall be put in the ‘Pit of Not So Good Stuff’!"
Before they got a chance to reply, Zybon and Skull were transported back into the circus tent.
"Now can we go and watch the circus, Zybon?" Skull’s eyes were full of anticipation.
"No!" Zybon was beginning to become aggravated with Skull’s ignorance, "Didn’t you listen to Captain Retard? We have to go and protect the tree from it’s obliteration!"
And with that, they were off to the power plant. On the way, Skull noticed a gas station and he told Zybon to wait for him. But before Zybon could hit him, Skull dashed off into the gas station.
"I’m kind of in a hurry, but I’m just dying for a pack of N&N’s, do ya got any?" Skull rushed the words out of his mouth to Henry (Jerry). Just then, another bologna came into the gas station. It was Gus! Forgetting about his customer in all of his joy for reconciliation, Henry said, "Gus! Where’ve you been man?!?"
Gus ignored Henry and said to Skull, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, could I get a pack of N&N’s?" Skull looked rapidly at the door, then he redirected his attention back to Gus.
Suddenly, another being barged into the gas station. It was Barry Beufordson, out for revenge again!
"You’re the one destroying my home everyday!" Berry wailed, pointing a hard finger at Gus. Gus remembered what he’d been taught as a boy: run from Berry whenever he accuses you of anything! No matter what, just run, it’ll be for the best! So Gus raced off with Berry stampeding after him.
And yet another being entered the building. It was Zybon!
"What’s this?!? Skull! How could you? You were trying to purchase some N&N’s, my only weakness, and send me to my death! Now you shall perish!" Zybon screeched, readying himself with a catapult that he apparently pulled out of his cloak.
"Um...well, we better be on our way to the power plant," Skull reminded him. He knew distracting Zybon with his duties would cause him to forget his task at hand for Zybon held his career as utmost importance in his life.
"Right you are then," Zybon looked relaxed once again. "Let’s go."
They again set out toward the power plant. On their way, they spotted a fish lying on highway 30 gasping for air and trying to tell them something about some blender, but they ignored it. Well, Zybon ignored it and forced Skull to ignore it by gouging his eyes. Once they reached their destination someone informed them that the tree had already been stolen.
"Well, since the tree has been cut and the criminal is no where to be found," Skull started, "Can we go to the circus now?"
Zybon sighed, "Yes, we can go to the circus. But only after we finish our battle we started earlier to determine who will be the new Miss Shopping-Cartsville!"
"Fair enough," Skull smiled and latched on to Zybon’s hand as they walked into the sunset together. Zybon decked the barbarian. After rubbing his arm for a while, Skull suddenly remembered something.
"By the way," Skull looked at Zybon, "Where are the cookies?"
So, to sum it all up, which I usually do, they went to the circus, finished their battle to see who was the new Miss Shopping-Cartsville that they started at the beginning of the chapter, and the crook got away with the tree. Where’s my sock? Oh, by the way, Zybon won the fight and is now Miss Shopping-Cartsville. It was here a minute ago. Where did my sock go? Hmm....
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