Borax is fixed to the left of the gate with a shield in one hand, and a spear in the other hand. He’s whistling a familiar tune out loud to himself, day dreaming with the clouds. Beetlenuts is stationed on the other side of the gate staring and poking a near by dead cow a few feet in front of him.
"…and they’ll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that…." Borax sang loudly. Beetlenuts continued to gape at the dead cow while jabbing at it.
"…some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it…." Borax halted with a sudden jerk and began to groan while nursing his stomach.
Beetlenuts didn’t flinch and sustained his cow nudging.
"Oh, I have an uncomfortable sensation in my…my…tummy, Beetlenuts," Borax bellowed.
But Beetlenuts continued to stand motionless, maintaining his attention on the corpse. Then Beetlenuts did something extremely bizarre, he poked the cow.
"It feels like my tummy is going to have a herd of stampeding elephants pop out of it," Borax managed, calming his paunch.
Beetlenuts slowly rotated his head, redirecting his attention towards Borax, and sluggishly mumbled, "Ask…the…magical…elephant." Then returned to his new found joy of stabbing dead cows.
"Good idea! Owe!" Borax yelped. Then he threw his spear and shield into a close by 32 mile hole in the ground and began running towards a heavy mountain range.
After about two minutes, Borax returned to the castle with a baffled look painted on his face. "Where was I going and what was I supposed to do?"
"You were going fishing with your grandpa and you were supposed to take the flamingo on a walk," Beetlenuts reminded his confused colleague.
"Oh yeah! I was going to the magical cave, on the magical mountain, to ask the magical elephant what is wrong with my tummy!" Borax glowed, then raced off towards the mountains again.
After revisiting Beetlenuts a few more times, he finally found his way to the magical mountain. He climbed it. Then he came to the magical cave. He rang the doorbell. After a slit delay, the elephant answered the door but had his concentration set on someone else.
"Now, I’m sure your dogs weren’t talking, it was probably just a ventriloquist acting out the dogs conversation," the elephant said to Harriet. Harriet looked relieved as he left the cave.
"Yes?" the elephant asked Borax.
"What do you want?" Borax shot a nasty look at the elephant.
"A chicken salad," the elephant responded.
"Ha ha! Yeah. Anyway, I should come in," Borax said as he exceeded into the cave to relax atop an ostrich’s back.
"You see, I have this problem with my belly," Borax was explaining, even though the elephant was paying no attention to him. The magical elephant was playing this new video game entitled "Killer Space Monkeys from not around here." That’s this awesome game where you command an army space fleet against these monkeys that are invading your home planet called Camelbreath and you only have so much money to build and repair ships and hire new troops, but you get 700,000 points for every monkey you destroy and…oh yeah, the story.
"…and that’s what happened on my vacation in Ireland." Borax finished.
"Earlier, you mentioned something about your stomach?" the elephant beseeched.
"What? Oh, yes, my stomach, it hurts!" Borax said, suddenly reminded of his thriving pains.
"Ah, many other bolognas have come to me with that exact dilemma," the elephant went on, "have you tried going to the bathroom?"
"Well, no," Borax said dumbfounded, "Of course! I have to tinkle!"
The magical elephant showed Borax the door, then played a game of chess with him, then, with his new found knowledge, Borax left through the door.
"You’re welcome for having me, I should come again sometime, you had fun," Borax yelled over his shoulder as he spurted back to Shopping-Cartsville.
One other thing I forgot to add is the fact that Shopping-Cartsville has only two bathrooms throughout the whole island. One at Will Tundwith’s house and the other in the center of highway 30, for convenience reasons, of course.
Borax eventually reached highway 30 and stumbled over to the bathroom door, getting run over twice in the process. He tried to open it, but much to Borax’s dismay, it was locked. The road kill guard became very aggravated at this and decided he would go hunting. He did. He stalked down three dinosaurs and one turtle then came back to the bathroom with high hopes. Apple pie! It was…still locked. So, Borax determined that he would go on a space exploration. He did. He discovered 4 new planets; Earth, Mars, Jupiter, and Camelbreath (where there were space monkey wars going on). After that, he went back to highway 30 to try the door again. Purple shoes! It was…still locked up tight. Borax’s emotions began to pour from the inside out. As he was crying, a car drove by. Then another car drove by, slammed on it’s brakes, and reversed it back to where the balling sentinel kneeled.
"You!" Harriet wailed while exiting his automobile, "You killed my t-rex!"
"Want some gum?" Borax asked politely, forgetting what Harriet had just accused him of.
Harriet grew red and threw a hippopotamus at Borax, but conveniently enough, Borax accidentally dropped his offering. Well, Borax bent over to pick up the stick of gum and the airborne hippo missed it’s target and nailed the bathroom door, causing it to open. Borax caught a glimpse of the bathroom’s invitation and rushed in, leaving his gum behind.
To sum it all up, Borax found a fish almost dead on highway 30 and released it into a cool lake. Oh, right, the bathroom. Well, Borax had forgotten what his purpose was in the lavatory and he decided to go fishing with his grandpa and took his flamingo on a badly needed walk.
Return to the Shopping-Cartsville main page by clicking HERE