Well, Henry seems to be having an interesting conversation with an ant from the Banner Plains. I’m sure you’d like to hear it…Fine. Here you go…

"Where did I put my underwear?" Henry asked himself.

"What? Are you looking for this?" the ant mocked as he held up Henry’s underwear.

"No, I’m looking for my underwear," Henry said, "But thanks for asking."

"Oh well, I guess I better be on my way," the ant sighed, "Sigh."

"You!" Henry accused the telephone booth, "Thief! Give me my underwear back!"

The telephone booth didn’t react. It just stood there, motionless, as if it wasn’t even alive.

"I have your underwear," said a turtle that was crawling past the scene.

"No, actually, I have his underwear," Henry’s llama pointed out.

"Unfortunately, you’re all wrong, I took his underwear," said Roy.

"Wait!" Henry turned his attention towards the ant that was gradually making his way East, "You have my underwear, don’t you?"

"What?" the ant looked baffled.

"You have stolen my underwear! And for that, I challenge you to a race!" Henry barked. "Bark."

"Fine. If I win, I get your underwear!" said the ant.

"Fine. If I win, I get your shoes!" said Henry.

"Fine. If I win, I get you stamp collection," the turtle said.

"Fine. If I win, I get your refrigerator," said Henry’s llama.

"Fine. If I win, I get your three legged zebra," the telephone booth said.

"Fine. If I win, I win the lottery," said Gus.

"Fine. If I win, I get this piece of paper," I said.

"Fine. If I win, I get to win the race," said Barry Beufordson.

"Fine. If I win, we get to go home," said the three penguins.

"Fine. If I win, I get to be Miss Shopping-Cartsville," said Skull.

"Fine. If I win, I get Will’s bathroom," said Borax.

"Fine. If I win, I get everything," said the Criminal of Shopping-Cartsville.

"Fine. If I win, I get supernatural powers," said Son.

"Fine. If I win, I get those three penguins," said Billy.

"Fine. If I win, I get Harriet’s blender," said the dying fish.

"Fine. If I win, I get your refrigerator," said Zybon.

"Sorry," Henry’s llama said, "I already made that claim."

"Really? Fine. If I win, I get my own cereal named after me," said Zybon.

"Fine. If I win, I get swimming lessons," said the magical elephant.

"Fine. If I lose, I lose my underwear to the ant," said Henry.

"Oh, let’s not start that now! Only make claims about winning," said the tree.

"Fine. If I win, We do this "If I win" thing all over again," said Harriet.

"Fine. If I win, I get a free copy of this book," said the vet.

"Fine. If I win, I get three wishes," said Nancy.

"Uh oh, umm…guys?" said Henry, "I’m sorry to rain on everyone’s parade but just remember where I put my underwear. The ant has it."

Everyone looked at the ground and let out a heave of disappoinment.

"Ant. May I please have my toaster back?" Henry politely asked.

"No, but I will give you your underwear back," the ant said as he returned the underwear to Henry.

Everyone stood around admiring things they wouldn’t normally admire when Billy asked, "Wait. I don’t get it. Who won the race?"

"I did," the microscope lied, again.

Well, this chapter clearly explains one thing, ants are dangerous. So, if you ever see an ant, beware…you never know when they might try to steal your underwear…or toaster.

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