"Uh. We are just arriving at an unfamiliar town," said the wanna-be narrator of the group.
"ATTACK!" the violent biologist yelled at the top of his lungs.
And the whole army charged in and started annihilating the whole town. All the peasants ran out of their homes screaming and crying. The heroic army drew their swords and staffs and crossbows then started destroying homes and possessions of all kinds. The army was yelling above all the chaos and continued to obliterate things. The violent biologist, Ted, attacked homes and walking carts. The wanna-be narrator, Camel, charged after all the women with a frog in one hand, and a snake in the other. Chasing them out of the country. The questionnaire, Borax, destroyed all of the livestock. And the guy who just stood there and stared at all of the action, Beetlenuts, stood there and watched all of the action. After about five minutes of screaming and yelling, the town was finally burned to ashes and had no residents left in it.
"After about five minutes of screaming and yelling, the town was finally burned to ashes and had no residents left in it." Camel said.
"Good job everyone!" Ted said proudly.
"Why exactly did we attack this town anyway?" Borax asked.
"Well….I…ah…I never thought of that. We did kind of just rush in and destroy everything with out any reason." Ted pondered." No matter! We won! Let us celebrate by going and destroying another town for absolutely no reason!"
And so they walked until they found another unfamiliar town.
"Uh. We walked until we found another unfamiliar town," said the wanna- be narrator.
"ATTACK!" Ted yelled at the top of his lungs.
And the whole army charged in and again defeated the whole town. Then Ted said "Good job everyone!"
"Why exactly did we attack this town again?" Borax asked.
"Well…I…ah…I don’t really know. We did kind of barge in and annihilateeverything for no reason." Ted wondered to himself. "No matter! Let us celebrate our victory by going and destroying another town!"
And so they went to another unfamiliar town. Oh, I get it now. Oh gees. This story is just another mess up in this book. We were all hoping that this "mystical journey" would have something to do with conquering evil for riches, or killing a giant dragon to save the beautiful princess. But no, no. This is just another fluke of a chapter. In case you didn’t quite catch on, this "mystical journey" thing is just an army of idiots going around and taking out every town in their path without any reason. Their only true reason being that they destroy one town to celebrate the destruction of the town the just destroyed...and stuff. Oh man…how lame is that? (Shane sighs once again)
Wait! I just thought of something! What will happen once this "heroic army" takes out all the towns? I mean, they wouldn’t have anything left to do! So, as soon as they destroy all the towns, I’ll let you back into the story…………………………
They’re done! HA HA! Let’s see how they handle this predicament!
"Ha ha! Let’s see how we handle this predicament!" Camel repeated after Shane.
"Well, we’ve destroyed all the towns on this island, what do we do now?" Borax asked aloud.
"Let’s go to the next island and start destroying those towns!" Ted brightly said.
Oh great. I present them with a problem they couldn’t possibly solve, and then they go out and solve it anyway. I don’t understand these bolognas, they figure out every obstacle I throw in their way! Oh, well, I guess this chapter will have to end with a stupid ending like all the others have so far.
"Oh well. I guess this chapter will have to end with a stupid ending like all the others have so far," Camel repeated after Shane again.
"Wait!" Borax said, "We can’t go to the next island and destroy their towns!"
"What!? Why not?" Ted asked angrily.
"Because they aren’t towns, they’re villages," Borax informed the group.
Ha! Top that Ted! Finally! A problem that they can’t possible resolve!
"Oh…well, I guess we’ll have to resign our duties as warriors and…"Ted got interrupted by Borax. (Shane is thinking, "oh no, now what!?")
"Wait just a second! Look!" Borax yelled while pointing his sword at a near by town. "They’re rebuilding their towns!"
"Uh ha! That’s it then! We’ll just wait here until every town rebuilds their towns, then we’ll go around and attack them all over again!" Ted jovially said. "And we’ll keep on doing that for the rest of our lives!"
Well. I’m speechless. I really thought I had them good, but again, they solved my problem. This chapter’s going to end the same way the others did…with a PARTY! Woo-hoo! Come on everyone! Party! Yeah! Boogie down, all right! Yeah!
Wait, the other chapters didn’t end with a party… oh well. Yeah! Bring it on home! Woo-hoo! Yeah! (Shane begins to break dance in the solitary confinement of his own dark cellar)
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