And as you can see, I’m a bit more optimistic this time! I hope this chapter goes better. OK, now, I’ve been getting some speculations as to whether or not I, Shane, can write a romantic chapter or not. Well, in this chapter, chapter 5, the mid-point of the book, I’m out to prove that I can, in fact, write a romantic story just as good as the next guy or girl! Just kick back and follow along, you’ll see just how romantic I can be!

Now, there is a catch however, since I make all my chapters about three to four pages, this is going to be a romantic story at a very rapid pace, so don’t expect these to lovers to be friends from the beginning and get to know each other! This is just a three page timeless classic, not a three thousand page masterpiece!

"Hey Phred!" Syrup yelled.

"Yes?" Phred asked.

"We’re running low on groceries, could you go down to the grocery store and pick up some things for me? I made a list," Syrup said as he handed Phred the list.

"No problem," Phred replied reading down the list, "Oh, hold on a second Syrup."

"I know, I know," Syrup said, "Get some one else to get it for you then! I know you’re allergic to cheese, but we need some!"

"Oh, yeah, that too, but I was just going to ask if you wanted 2% milk or not," Phred said.

"Sure, whatever!" Syrup was getting impatient, "Get whatever kind I don’t care just go!"

"All right," Phred smiled and hopped along down town.

Once at the store, Phred was busy picking out some of the things on the list when he accidentally rammed his shopping cart into somebody else’s.

"Oops! Oh, I’m so sorry!" Phred apologized.

"Watch where you’re going! You moron! You could have squished my bananas!" The woman he had run into yelled back.

"Really, ma‘am, it was a mistake. I’m sorry. I was just picking out some beans and I guess I didn’t see you and…"Phred said before getting rudely interrupted by the lady.

"Yeah, well, it’s not my fault you’re so dumb and blind! Go whine to someone who cares!" The lady scorned.

"Look, ma’am, it was an accident. I’m sorry, but could I ask you for some help?" Phred asked.

"What!?! First you run into me, now you want to use me for your help!?! Ugh! Fine, what can I do you for?" the woman asked rolling her eyes.

"Well, first off, hi. My name is Phred. What’s yours?" Phred tried to be polite.

"Sally, what’s it to you?" Sally shot a nasty look at Phred.

"Oh, Sally, that’s a nice name," Phred smiled in reply.

"Yeah, it is. However, I think Fred is a stupid name," Sally grumbled.

"Yes, it is rather unusual," Phred said modestly, "Well, I need help. I’ve got a little problem."

"People named Fred always have problems! What’s new!?!" Sally yelled, "So shut up and get to the point!"

"O.K. Well, my brother needs cheese, but I’m allergic to it," Phred started,"So, I would really appreciate it if you would take that cheese over there, purchase it, and throw it in a bag for me. Once it’s in a bag, it doesn’t bother me."

"That’s such a stupid problem, I don’t think I even want to help you!" Sally scorned once again, "But I will. You know what? I’ve always dreamt of living in a castle built entirely out of cheese. But why am I telling you!?! I’ll go buy your cheese for you now your majesty!"

Sally went and bought the cheese and put it in a bag and chucked it at Phred’s head, knocking him unconscious for a few minutes and when he finally came to again Sally said, "Gees! You even have bad eye/hand coordination! Can’t you do anything right!?!"

Then she left and the other people around helped Phred get back up to his feet. Once back on two legs, Phred rubbed the newly formed bump on his head and gave a long deep love sigh as he watched Sally walk away.

Phred went home and was looking spaced out as he walked through the front door.

"OK, good," Syrup said, pillaging through the bag, "It looks like you got everything. Bread, milk, snails, pudding, butter, oh, and even the cheese! And you…hey. What’s wrong?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. I met someone at the grocery store today," Phred said, smiling at the ceiling.

"Really? Who? And what happened to your head!?!" Syrup said confused.

"Her name was Sally, and she thinks I’m a king!" Phred said.

"What!?! What kind of lies have you been spreading now!?!" Syrup accused Phred.

"None! She goes "I’ll get your cheese your majesty." Plus, it is her dream to live in a cheese castle, and I figure if she calls me her majesty, she must be implying that she wants me to marry her!" Phred anxiously said.

"Ah gees. You are stupid. Man, she was just…"Syrup started. But suddenly Phred grabbed the bag and sprinted off toward a near by hill. He didn’t ome back that night…

The next morning there was a knock on Syrups door. It was the police and they had informed him that Phred was found dead atop a near by hill.

"Yes, apparently he had an allergic reaction to the cheese castle he had built," The officer said to Syrup, "I’m sorry."

The police man left and Syrup stood there staring into the distance and said, "Phred, you crazy love sick fool, you actually did it…"

That same day, Syrup went to find Sally and miraculously he did! He told her about the whole cheese castle thing and showed her the castle. When Sally saw the cheese castle, it brought a tear to her eye for the very first time in her life…

*Sniff* That was beautiful. *Sigh* See, I told you I could write romance! Now, go tell all your friends that Shane can write romantic novels! That was just a taste of the good stuff that I could write if I had the time! But this is a story about bolognas and how nothing ever makes sense, not a "how Harry met Molly" type of thing! I hope you enjoyed the romance while it lasted, because the next chapter is back to the good old bolognas and their everyday struggles! Thank you, and good night.

Credits:

Phred as himself

Syrup as himself

Police as himself

Molly as Sally

Shopping cart as itself

The mustard as the cheese (Because Phred really is allergic to cheese!)

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