Gym walked up to the door of his office in the top secret underground lab. Gym is a scientist that works for a Wallaby that is trying to discover the secrets of a bubble bath. Once at his door, Gym reached in his pocket to pull out his banana, which worked as a key to unlock his door.
"That’s funny, ha, it was in my pocket last night…" Gym said out loud to himself while patting himself simultaneously. "I know! It’s on my dresser at home!" Gym said as he dashed out the underground lab and headed home.
Once there, he ran up 60 flights of stairs, tripping 17 times on the same step, and was about to go into his apartment when his landlord, an intimidating 12 foot goose, stopped him and told him that his usual monthly rent was due.
"Another month gone by, eh Gym?" The goose said with a diabolical look on his beak, "So where is my pair of new socks you owe me?"
"I’m sorry Mr. Porkgrind, I haven’t had time to…" Gym began.
"Silence! No socks, no apartment!" The goose quacked, "You know our deal! Now leave my building at once or I will make you walk the plank!"
"But sir, I really need to get my banana, if you please, it’s on the top of my…" Gym anxiously said.
"Fine! So be it! You must now walk the plank!" Mr. Porkgrind shouted as he smashed heads with Gym, knocking Gym unconscious. Once Gym finally awoke, he found himself tied up on a pirate ship. A smaller, gimpy- looking guy noticed he was conscious and walked over to keep Gym company.
"You have to walk the plank too huh?" Borax asked Gym.
"Yeah. Did Mr. Porkgrind bring you here too?" Gym asked.
"Huh? No, no, I work here," Borax said, removing his patch to itch his eye.
"What!? What do you do?" Gym began to shake.
"I throw people off the plank, and it looks like it’s your turn!" Borax grabbed Gym and brought him to the plank of the pirate ship and pushed him off into the water. Luckily, a mermaid came to Gym’s rescue! The mermaid swam Gym to the shore and Gym said, "Who are you?"
The mermaid smiled then said happily, "You are now our slave for life!"
Before Gym could say anything, the mermaid grabbed Gym and swam him to her underwater kingdom where he was punished for not being a fish. They set Gym to work, fighting off killer rocks that might attack, when one day aliens abducted Gym onto their spaceship.
"Thank you for saving me!" Gym said.
"You’re welcome," the alien miraculously spoke English, "We will return you safely to your home."
"Ah, thank you so much!" Gym said, not believing that he finally got a lucky break.
"Yup, safely back home to planet Himdorkus," the alien said.
"Yeah, good old Himdorkus," Gym said, relaxing on the operation table in the alien spacecraft.
The aliens gave one another a sly look as they strapped Gym down to the table...
What? That’s it? That’s the end? OK (Shane looks around the room rather confused at all of this) I guess the aliens safely returned Gym to his home on, ah, Himdorkus I guess…oh my…all right, so, that was definitely strange, that’s the stupidest, whacked out chapter I’ve ever written! Wait, did I write it? (Shane scans the room and sure enough, he spots Mr. Literature) Ah ha! You again!
Yes! Now, Shane, since I wrote this chapter, you’ve seen what I can do, so now will you let me write the rest of the book?
No! A thousand times no! You can’t write this book! (Shane puts up his fists, ready to fight off any evil ward the house might throw at him)
OK, I’m leaving, again. Goodbye.
That Mr. Literature is really starting to get on my nerves! I’m sorry, again, I didn’t write this chapter, Mr. Literature did. It’s stupid, and I hate it. Sorry.
Return to the Shopping-Cartsville main page by clicking HERE