"Pick a card, any card," the magician instructed the dog. "Well, since this dog will not do as he is told, would you please pick a card?" the magician said as he walked over to another dog.
"I’ll pick a card," Yanni said. The magician, relieved, strolled over to Yanni with the cards fanned in his white gloved hand. Yanni picked the 10 of diamonds.
"Now, memorize that card and show it to anyone you please," the magician further instructed Yanni. Yanni finally memorized his card after an hour long examination, then handed it back to the magician. The professional trickster took the card and ripped it up.
"Now, you’ll find your card is whole again but is in the Tacklenackle Desert, 3 billion miles away from here," the white gloved man said with a smile as the audience clapped in amusement. "If you do not believe me, check for yourself."
Some shadow of a man ran off in the background.
"For my next trick, I will make one audience member disappear!" the magician enthusiastically announced. There was sudden bedlam in the crowd and the magician chose a victim. Brainfart was still mentally obsessing about the relocating card trick, but soon forgot about it as he watched a member of the audience get put into a cage on stage.
"What is your name?" the magician asked the person he had brought on stage.
"Gymnasium Barbell Situps III," the man proudly replied.
"Yeah. Anyway, Jim, are you a killer hippo trainer or tamer?" the magician asked very seriously.
"No, I’m actually allergic to hippos and I…" but Gym was interrupted by the performer.
"Good," he said with a sinister smile upon his face, "Ladies, gentlemen, and frogs, I will now magically make Jim disappear before your very eyes!" There was a loud uproar when the magician said "Release the man eating hippos!"
"…and my mom said that if a hippo were to eat my jello that I wouldn’t grow big and strong but I told her…" Gym continued but suddenly directed his attention to a more important matter at hand; a gang of hippos were madly raging in his direction. "What’s going on!?!" Gym yelled. But before he could get away, Gym was swallowed whole by one of the hippopotamuses.
The band played the usual ‘ta-da’ jingle and the audience let out there usual cheers of approval. Brainfart laid back on his ostrich and clapped, enjoying the show, when a lady suddenly burst out, "Oh man alive! My dogs!!! My dogs are missing!!!" Brainfart dashed directly over to her and immediately began to question her.
"Where were they seen last?" Brainfart asked the distressed woman.
"I let them run around backstage with a bunch of the other animals," she answered through her clogged throat.
"How many dogs were there?" Brainfart continued as he jotted some notes down.
"Two, but one is crossed with a giraffe, so he looks a little different," she informed the detective.
"I see. What did you have for breakfast?" Brainfart began writing faster.
"Two pieces of toast, some cereal, and a burger," the lady said, becoming more worried about the well being of her dogs.
"Uh huh. Did you ever eat chalk as a child?" Brainfart pressed on.
"No, but I once robbed a bank with a stick of chalk," the woman admitted.
"OK. What’s the square root of 236,892?" Brainfart dug deeper.
"Do you think you know where my precious poopsies are?" she asked.
"Wait now. You lost one dog, one half dog - half giraffe type creature, AND some poopsies too?" Brainfart was baffled.
"Yes. That is correct," the woman deliriously stated.
"All right ma’am, now calm down. I’m sure your poopsies are all right," the detective attempted to comfort her. "Hold on to my shoe if you need some physical support. You should have told me that you also lost some poopsies."
"Oh. I also found this," the woman said as she handed the detective a pair of white gloves.
"Ah ha! Madam, I know exactly where your dogs and poopsies are!" the detective brightly said.
"Where?" She anxiously asked.
"Well, your giraffe like dog is inside that hippopotamus because as you can see, his head is sticking out of the hippos mouth. Your other dog is right there because I was looking at him the whole time we were talking. And your poopsies are in your coat pockets," Brainfart pointed out.
"You’re right! Thank you so much! How did you ever figure that out?" the woman asked.
"Well. It’s simple really. You said your dogs were last seen playing with the other animals in the back. After seeing the disappearing act on Gym, I realized that your dog must have disappeared the same way. Second, you said you had two dogs which lead me to believe that after the first dog had been eaten, the other dog ran away because it was scared of being eaten too. Third, you said you had two pieces of toast, some cereal, and a burger for breakfast, which lead me to believe that you are a forgetful person because that is not a balanced breakfast. You forgot to drink orange juice and eat a snail sandwich. So I figured you just plum forgot that your poopsies were in your coat. Fourth, you said you’ve never eaten chalk but robbed a bank with it which lead me to believe that my pants are too tight. And finally, you showed me you had found a pair of white gloves which lead me to believe that you like to wear white gloves. And that, madam, is how I solved the case of the missing dogs and poopsies," Brainfart finished and everyone showed their approval with loud whistling and obnoxious hooting and large tag board signs saying things like "Brainfart rulez!" and "Brainfart he’s da man! If he can’t do it, Lester can!" and "Try new Krest multi-care, now with baking soda!" Yup, another case solved by the brilliant Brainfart.
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