I suppose I should tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 23 year old freshman at St Cloud State University. How did that happen, you ask? I don't know. I have always been a little behind the times. Oh well, at the very least, it's a little better than being a 24 year old freshman. Besides the fact, being older than the majority of the people here gives me a certain perspective on college life that I think I would have otherwise overlooked. I have noticed that people here tend to form their own little clicks. There's nothing wrong with that, I guess we always tend to seek out people with similar interests. The problem being, unfortunately, is that I don't seem to belong to any of them. My background and personallity have gotten me accepted among pretty much the majority of groups without actually becoming a regular member of any one crowd. So as not to confuse anyone I'll give an example. Last weekend I went to a party thrown by what I call the outcast group. You know the ones I mean, long black hair, long black clothes, and even sometimes lots of black make-up. Because I have long hair, and a similar taste in music I was able to fit in well enough to get drunk with them. None the less, as I am satisfied with my natural hair color, and actually prefer colored clothes as opposed to black,I don't make the regular hang-out roster. Understand? Ok, I'll move on.

There is one thing I have noticed from sitting on the proverbial social sidelines, and that is that every click seems to think that they are more enlightened than the others. If any of you are out there reading this page, I will save you the suspense, you're not. I'll have to go back to the out cast example to explain this one. People have a tendancy to look down on these people and call them freaks. In response, the members of this group tend to think that they are smarter, and more enlightened than others because they recognize this as a foolish prejudice. The truth is that you are only more tolerant to your group because you are a member of it. A certain member of this group brought his girlfriend to the party. She was the typical chearleader type and overly nice to everyone. However, the girls from this group spent the night bitching about her. They saw her as nothing but a preppy little bitch. An obvious outcast to the room. If you can't find the hypocracy in this, read it again, you'll figure out what I am getting at. I don't mean to pick on this group, or on anyone who was there that night, but it was the most recent example. What about me, you ask? Being the outsider, I have two choices. The first would be to sit here in my room and simply hate all people. The second choice is to except the fact that people are simply a work in progress. For the moment, I'll choose the later. Give me time though, and I'm sure sheer loneliness will change all that.

I apologise if I am not the best writer. It has never been a gift of mine. The problem, I think, is that I don't think in words, but rather in abstract images that flash by before I can even begin to put them into words. In that aspect, I am a largely visual person. Music is better when I can see the band playing it. Sex is more enjoyable in the daylight. And if food looks gross, it is gross, regardless of the taste. Yes, I admit it, I actually shelled out $250 for a DVD player. I own at least a fairly large screen tv. I am a huge movie buff. I would love to someday direct a hollywood movie. I am amazed when a good director can create the perfect on screen image that seems to just pull you in. Is that what I am going to school for? Of course not. I am going for an aviation major. Why? So that I can SEE the world. Get my point?

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