How I got involved in Psychic Channeling and the New Age Movement
and How I got out
My earliest memory of supernatural powers was when I was about 4 or 5 years old. To the best of my recollection, it went something like this. I had a wart on my left arm and I was showing it to the little old lady next door to us. She said she knew of a magical way to get rid of it. I was excited. She invited me over into her yard. She went into her house and came out with a toothpick. She asked me to show her the wart, which I did. She touched the wart with the toothpick and recited an incantation. Then she instructed me to follow her to a spot next to our adjoining fence. She dug a small hole, bent the toothpick in half, put it up to my lips and told me to kiss it. Then she buried the toothpick in the little hole and said another incantation over the spot, telling me to repeat after her. After we were done, she told me to go home and the wart would go away in a few days. A couple of days later it was gone. This left quite an impression on me and my interest in all things supernatural began. Around age 11 or 12, I began to think about spiritual things a lot. I asked my mother why we didn't go to church. She didn't have an answer so I said, "There's one right across the street, why don't we go there?". She said, "I guess we could do that", so we started attending pretty regularly until I was 18 and left home. The church was a Presbyterian Church. I don't think my mom, dad & younger sister ever went to church after that. My mom did start going again later in her life. My brother, Mike, was 15 months older than me and we were constant companions from day one. I praise the Lord for that because I don't know what I would have done without him. I always felt like he was the only real family I ever had. He was my best friend. I ran around with him and 'his' friends and wasn't really interested in friends of my own. By the time I was about 12, I often felt that I could talk to him without speaking and wondered if he felt that too. I now know that's just because you know someone so well and the devil puts these temptations in your mind. One day I mentioned this to him. I asked him if he ever felt that and wondered if we could be telepathic. He got very agitated and yelled, "NO! and Don't ever talk about that stuff again!" His anger shocked me. I didn't expect that reaction at all. He never snapped at me like that before. It wasn't long after that he told me he had something to tell me, but I had to promise never to tell anyone. I agreed and he said, "Sit down". No one else was at home. We sat on my bed as he proceeded to nervously, tell me that he was going to die in his early twenties. I said, "What?! How do you know that?". He said, he didn't know how he knew, he just knew. I stared at him. It was very upsetting and scary. We just sat there, side by side, looking down at the floor; neither of us knowing what to say. That was the first and last time we ever talked about it. As the years went by, I tried not to think about those types of things, but I just couldn't seem to help it. Eventually a time came when it seemed like I knew things before they happened. I thought I could hear people's thoughts and most of their thoughts were critical things about others they were around. When I would listen to songs or people talking, it seemed I knew the words before they even said them. I couldn't help but wonder if I was psychic or something, and if so, why? I didn't know anything. I was a kid. By the time I was 19 or 20 yrs.old, I couldn't ignore these feelings and thoughts any longer. I always felt different from my friends and they thought so too. I had deeper thoughts than other teenagers. I longed to understand this cruel world we lived in. People confused me. By the time the sixties rolled around, the occult and metaphysical ideas were a point of interest to me as well as many others my age. It was the time of the Hippies and I found the freedom to explore what I had shut away as a child. I studied and practiced astrology, numerology, tarot card reading, white witchcraft, palmistry, I-Ching, crystal magic & gemstone healing. What was the most interesting to me though was where these thoughts in my head were coming from. Was I communicating with a spirit world? My idea of this was that there was a powerful and much more intelligent organization of beings out there, somewhere, willing and eager to communicate with us to help us improve our lives and the fate of this planet we occupy. It appeared a heady idea to most so I rarely found someone to talk to about it. Things laughed at by most are looked at in a more serious way by just about everyone these days. What most people thought was ridiculous 30yrs. ago is entertained by the majority now. Even our highest officials are said to consult with such practitioners for advice. But no matter when one considered these things, they usually believed they were from GOD or a higher power of mystery and divinity. I know that is what I thought. On July 3, 1969 my beloved brother fell in the bathroom, hit his head on the tub and slipped into a coma. It was his 23rd birthday. I was unaware of this accicent but I felt the immediate urge to go visit my older sister who lived in Houston. (At that time in my life, I was living with my in-laws in a small town not far away, with a 6mo. old baby girl and my husband in Viet Nam.) When I got to her house, she told me about my brother's accident. He had been rushed to Memorial Hospital, in Houston. He was in a coma and running a very high fever. The doctors had no idea why. He lay in the hospital on ice as the doctors tried to get the fever down to protect his brain. My sister said I shouldn't go see him because he was only allowed visitors a few minutes at a time, a couple times a day and it would be best if we let my mother and my brother's wife have that time. I remember just pacing up and down in her living room. The concept of losing him was not possible to me. It may have been obvious, but my brain couldn't think it. I suddenly started getting impressions that he was communicating with me, telling me to stay calm and stay close, "mentally". It was that natural thing that I thought we had and I believed it. It was all I had to hold onto. He laid there for 8 days, then died on Friday, July 11th. He was buried on July 13th. It was surreal to me. I was physically present but emotionally frozen. I couldn't think about it. I loved him more than anyone. He had been by my side ever since the day I was born. He was the only person in my family I was even remotely close to. My whole family was in him. He was my best friend, my protector, my history and the only person in my family who really knew me. Now, he was gone. As time went on, I still never was able to think about it. Part of my world was literally missing. I'm so grateful that GOD loved me even when I didn't know Him. He gave me a precious little baby girl to take care of to fill the emptiness. That baby gave me someone else to love and to love me back. She was my reason to go on. Otherwise I'd have probably said, "that's it for me, I don't want to live here anymore". God knew that, when He planned this child for me. She was 6mos. old when my brother died. Just old enough to respond to me AND my mother who was suffering terribly. I never actually processed the loss. I couldn't think about it. Then one day I did think about it. Since the church I was brought up in taught that your soul goes to heaven when you die and since I felt like I could communicate with him without talking when he was alive, it was easy for me to think that I could communicate with him in death, or so I thought. I decided that even if your body dies, your mind and your soul which you cannot see, must live on. I started talking to him all the time and I thought he talked to me. I never told anyone. They would have thought I was nuts but there were little things that would happen that made me believe he was out there. I don't know how to explain it but it was comforting to me. I'd smile and shed a few tears then feel comforted thinking that in some unknown way, he was still there with me. My husband made it back from Viet Nam (praise the Lord) but the marriage didn't survive but 4 years. He was a musician and became completely absorbed in his music. My daughter and I became invisible. I tried so hard to make us a family but he made no effort. I finally gave up, moved out and started to make a new life. I was crushed inside but if only one person wants something that takes two people to accomplish, what else can you do? I got a student grant to commercial art school and rented a small home in town. After a year of sitting at a drafting table 8 hours a day, I got burnt out and just walked away, just a couple of months before graduation. I was the top student in the school and I just threw all my hard work away because I felt so restless. It was the beginning of many years of bad decisions and foolish mistakes. The failure of my marriage was devastating to me. I had planned on a family. I never considered anything else. When life was too painful, I'd just move somewhere else. That's how life worked for me. I looked for meaning in everything, always searching for a way to tolerate this world. I never felt like I belonged here. In 1980, around the time of my brother's birthday and 11 years after his death, I began to get a strong, forboding feeling about him. It was like he was trying to tell me he would not be able to communicate with me anymore; that he was going too far away. It was so painful! For several days I could barely get through work. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had nowhere to turn. I felt panicky, like I had to do something to not lose him again. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I would strain my brain, trying to hear him; trying to figure out what he was telling me. It just wasn't clear. It was so stressful for me that I started getting sick with terrible stomach pains. My stomach would bloat up anytime I ate and the pain was unbearable. I went to the doctor and she said I had a spastic colon and she prescribed some cortisone tablets. After taking the cortisone for a few weeks, I started breaking small bones. First, two in my left hand while sliding down a slide. About a month later, I broke two in my right hand, playing volleyball, which I had done every weekend for about 9 years. Then, a few weeks after that, I broke two bones in my left foot just running up a hill, barefooted. I knew it was the cortisone so I quit taking it. The problems with my stomach continued. Sometimes, all I could eat was soda crackers. [An interesting aside: every doctor I have ever told this to has denied that it had anything to do with the cortisone. I find it rather ridiculous to think that all those breaks, in just a couple of months, were a coincidence considering I have always been very tough, physically active and never broken a bone in my life before that.] After I was mostly healed, I decided to move to Alaska. I bought a new car, had a garage sale, packed up my daughter and headed for the Al-Can. I landed in Anchorage and got a great job managing a huge record store, my passion. I was a music aficionado and loved that job. I was there for 3 1/2 years, then I came back to Texas. In 1984 I severely injured my low back and left sacrum which left me in constant and sometimes excruciating pain. A year later, I severely injured my neck and had numbness and "needles and pins" in my right arm for about 3mos. I was told time and time again that my injuries were irreversible and nothing could be done. I just couldn't handle it emotionally. I was always a very physical person. I loved dancing, riding horses, motorcycles and snow skiing. I needed to be physical. It kept me sane. Now I couldn't do any of that. I could barely keep a job. Doctors had nothing to offer me. I was losing hope. One night I was sitting on my living room couch, deeply depressed. The T.V. was on and I was half-way watching an old, classic movie. I was sobbing. My life was a mess and I didn't know how to fix it. I was in pain all the time and so stresssed and tired. The doctors, I saw, were puzzled as to what all was wrong with me. The back and neck injuries were explainable, but no one knew why I always felt so sick and tired. I saw chiropractors, neurologists, orthopedic specialists and even a psychiatrist. I needed answers and solutions. I was in deep despair. I could not be disabled! That's not in my vocabulary. I have to be active. What is life without all that? I just could not accept it. As I sat there lost in my pain, I gazed at a little wooden goblet I had sitting on the table next to me. My brother had made it in wood shop while in high school. It had a votive candle in it. I lit the candle and as I watched the flames, I cried out to him to please help me. I was so lost and so scared of being disabled and just so alone. Surely my brother could save the day. Oh, how I missed him. Drowning in my despair, I cried out to him again. My left hand was on the couch cushion and as I cried, I felt a hand touch the top of my hand and fold it's fingers around mine and gently hold my hand. I opened my eyes to look at my hand and there was no one there. Then I looked at the T.V. screen and the credits for the actors were rolling up the screen. They were in two columns. The last name of the first actor on the left hand column was (something) Michael, and the name on the right hand column was Daniel (something), making the name Michael Daniel. My brother's name was Michael Daniels. I was overwhelmed with emotions. This was the pleasant assurance, a sign that he was there with me and I wasn't alone. (I don't feel like I can explain this very well. I just can't seem to find the precise words. Feelings can surely get you going down the wrong path sometimes) It was around this time that I was seeing a chiropractor for my back (1984) and neck(1986) injuries. I had been seeing him for about 6mos. and liked him very much. He was a very 'spiritual' man. He occassionally used metaphysical techniques with me, like crystals and such, which I knew nothing about and thought was a little silly. One day I was having a conversation with his receptionist about metaphysical things and my curiosity about my own experiences with this. I told her I had often wondered if I were a little bit psychic or something. She asked me if I had ever met the doctor's wife. I said no and she said that the doctor's wife was a psychic channeler and maybe I should talk to her. She had just opened an office next door. I walked over, went in and introduced myself and told her what the receptionist and I were talking about and that the receptionist said that she might be able to help me find some answers. She told me to sit down and she began to tell me about herself. She said she was a spiritual channeler and she channeled an ancient Asian-Indian woman named Elaina. She asked me if I'd like to make an appointment. Since I'd always wanted to talk to a real psychic, but never knew how I'd ever find one that I could trust, this was the opportunity I had long awaited. She gave me a book and said I had to read it before she would see me. The book, I believe, was titled "The Seeds of Change". I'm not sure of the title but I read the book. The book was very far fetched to me but I made an appointment anyway. She told me to prepare 3 questions of importance like maybe, questions about my brother or something like that. Now, I had never mentioned to her that I even had a brother much less that he was forefront on my mind! That was kinda freaky but made me more confident and excited about this opportunity. This encounter would turn out to be an extraordinary & pivotal point in my life. I was not the least bit, prepared for what was to come. The book she required me to read was about how some of us came to this planet on a spaceship in order to educate the people here about other worlds and powers, and how to use them for our own spiritual and material advancement as well as for World peace. It was written as a biography, as a factual account. I read the book, thinking it was very far-fetched, but none the less, made an appointment. I arrived at her office and she explained the procedure and that we would be taping the session. She said I would need to be the one to turn over the tape because she wouldn't be able to. Then she asked if I was ready. My adrenaline was pumping as I answered, "Yes". She sat down across from me, closed her eyes and her head dropped. In a few moments she raised her head and smiled at me and said, "Greetings!". Her demeaner and voice were totally different from before. She immediately started into a long description of, what I can only describe as, far beyond the innermost and deepest desires of my heart. She told me I would be learning and then teaching the people of this planet how to live their life as "soul"; how to tap into their supernatural powers to live in peace and harmony. She said I would be channeling the "Archangel Michael" saying that he was in charge of the education of this planet. She said he worked under the auspices of the Melchizedek, who is the head of the heirarchy of this planetary system. She explained down to the smallest detail how I was to do this. She told me I was to start meditating, repeating the phrase "I Am" until I felt "Michael's" presence and after doing this for a while, he would start to speak through me. He would give me instructions and I was to write them down in a notebook. After a while I would compile a lesson booklet and start giving classes to teach people how to "live life as 'soul'", "Life According to Michael". She said, in every class there would be at least one 'graduate' who would become 'clear' enough to start channeling; not neccessarily that they would do that, but they would be 'clear' enough to do so. She went on: "Then after a time, you will start a university. It will be called the "University of Michael". It will be in another state. There you will teach the courses of "Michael". There will be 12 courses; one in channeling; one in healing; one in the 'new age' politics, etc. Michael will tell you the rest when it is time. OK?" Well, after hearing all this, I was overwhelmed to say the least. Me, doing all this amazing stuff? I don't think so. I was sick. I was an emotional wreck. I was in pain everyday. There must be a mistake. She paused and said, "What do you want to say?" I said, "I don't think I am able to do this!" She said, not to worry. "Michael" does it. All you have to do is start the channeling and "Michael" does the rest. I was speechless. She then asked me if I had any questions. I said, "Yes. I was wondering about my brother." She said, "What is it you need to know about him?". I said, my voice cracking, "I need to know where he is". She replied, increduously, as she pointed to my left shoulder, "He is right there!". I gasped as my heart lept, and I was trying hard to hold back the tears. At this point, I was hanging onto every word as if my life depended on it. She sympathetically responded by saying, "He is fine; not to worry. Now what is he saying? (she is now animating as if to listen harder) He is saying, he doesn't eat pizza anymore and he doesn't mind". This made me laugh through the tears. It sounded like something he would say. Something very light-hearted at a very heavy moment. My brother could always make me laugh. But, I was still troubled. I told her I had gotten the impression he was going away somewhere and wouldn't be able to talk to me anymore and I didn't understand. She said, "He hasn't gone away, he has just reached a higher level, as an angel now, and the 'vibrations are of a higher frequency' and it just seems further away, but it is not. He is fine; he is right there" (pointing to my left shoulder again). I don't remember what else I asked her. Nothing else really mattered at that point. My brother was fine and still by my side. I left her office with a cassette tape of the meeting which I was to listen to a few times more to "get me started". I was instructed to start the meditating and to let "Michael" speak through, and in a few months I would need to make another appointment for some "fine tuning". I was curious about who this "Archangel Michael" was so I went to a Christian Book Store and asked the clerk if he had anything on the "Archangel Michael"? He looked at me a little strangely and went to the back of the store. I sat on a little bench and waited for his return. As he approached me, I noticed he had a little piece of paper in his hand upon which he had written about 6 scripture verses. He sat down next to me and said, "Well, this is what I found". I saw what he had written and before he could say any more I burst out with the first scripture on the list. "Daniel 10:13? Daniel 10:13?", I exclaimed. I couldn't believe it. He looked at me like I was totally insane. I explained, "My last name is Daniel and my birthday is 10-13!". Well, this was all the evidence I needed. What the channeler had revealed to me must be my destiny and my calling. I started the meditating and writing down all the notes. Beautiful thoughts, as poetry, flowed onto the paper of the notebook I was keeping. I was sure it was something beyond this world; something good and special guiding my words. This went on for a couple of months but then things started to change. I became very critical of myself and the slow progress I was making in letting the voice of "Michael" actually speak through me. I would feel something move up inside me, toward my throat and into my mouth, but when it was virtually on my lips, I would stop. I just couldn't let some unknown entity take over my body and mind no matter who it was. I just couldn't do it. I felt a lot of guilt over this. I felt like I was letting GOD down. I was so conflicted. My life soon became a huge roller coaster ride. My "fine tuning" appointment was way overdue. I finally felt pressured to make the second appointment. It didn't go well. The sweet little ancient Asian woman was agitated. She got angry with me when I wouldn't agree with her. She said things about GOD that made me very uncomfortable. She said, GOD was 'good and evil'; that 'all things' are GOD and when things look bad to us; "that is just GOD forgetting himself". I was stunned and couldn't speak. I felt trapped. That totally went against my grain. I was no Bible thumper, I didn't go to church, but there was something instilled deep inside me that knew that was not the character of GOD. I couldn't agree with her but, I was afraid to disagree, so I said nothing. This made her angry. In my heart, I knew that what she was telling me was not the truth. Something was wrong with this picture. I left her office very shaken and never went back, but I did continue to believe what she said about what I was suppose to do with my life. Isn't that stange? My health and work continued deteriorating for over a year. I began to pray and read the book of Daniel, in the Bible. I'd pray and plead: "GOD, If you want me to do this, you have to help me more". Things got worse. After six years of struggling to work and recover my health I finally gave in and applied for disability. I had no job no where to go, no home and my van broke down. I called my younger sister to see if I could come stay in her garage apartment. She agreed to let me live there while I waited for my Social Security disability to go through. About three weeks later, my older sister invited me to a church campmeeting out of state. I was absolutely not interested in old Christianity. I thought it was outdated and ineffective, but she convinced me to go, just for 'the company'. I attended no meetings; just stayed in the cabin or walked the grounds. One day, a friend of hers was talking to me about prophecy and I told her I was very interested in that subject. She gave me a copy of a book she said she thought I might find interesting. The title of the book was "The Great Controversy between Christ and Satan". I took it, just out of politeness, and put it on the dresser in my room. That night I couldn't sleep. My sister was at meetings until late into the night so I was there alone. I had done all of my mediatation/new-age stuff and so, out of boredom, I picked up the book and started to read. I read about 6 or 7 pages and, still not interested, went to the table of contents to read the chapter titles to see if there was "anything" interesting in this book. Then, I saw the title "Dead Men Don't Tell Tales". "Hmmm... maybe this is interesting", I thought. Then the thought came to me: "What if this isn't my brother I am talking to?. "No way!! Why would I think that?". I started to read. Fear and trembling came over me as I read about the true state of the dead. It quoted the Bible saying, that "the dead are asleep and know not anything". Everything in my mind and soul started to go haywire. Thoughts were going back and forth in my head like lightbulbs flashing 'off and on' and 'right and left'. My world as I knew it was being completely dismantled. I said to myself, "No! This can't be so. It has to be my brother. It has to be! Nobody else knows all we know. Something must be missing here. How did this writer come up with this? Did the Bible really say what the author claimed?" Afterall, I and just about everybody else believed that the soul was immortal and separate from the physical body. No matter what religion you were in, most people thought there was some form of life that never died even after this body is gone. I finished that chapter and I read the chapter before that one and the one before that until I had read 6 chapters, going backwards to try to find the answer to how this writer came up with these conclusions. What I found out was most profound. I found out that there was a devil named Satan. I saw what he was up to and why, and how he works. And the most shocking of all, to me, was that he had lots of supernatural power. Worst of all, he was very close to me. He knew all about me and he took advantage of my grief and sorrow. The devil used me to do his dirty work. He deceived me and used my great love and longing for my brother to draw me into his web of lies and deceit. He thought he could use me to steer as many as possible away from Jesus Christ and The Truth and into his snare. All of a sudden, I felt terror as I saw his great anger and hatred for me. Now that I was seeing, for the first time, his lies and his tricks, I knew he wanted me dead. I felt it! I was sure that he would kill me at any moment. It was so intense. I jumped out of bed and found a Bible and crawled under the covers and held it tightly to my chest as a shield. I have no idea why I fid that. I had never been taught that. I just did it! I was literally trembling in fear. Only the Holy Spirit of God could have driven me to take that action. Now that I had the Truth in my mind and my heart, I knew that Bible was the only thing that could protect me. I saw how extremely wicked and evil and filled with hate the devil, Satan is. Then I saw and felt that great love that Jesus has always had for me. It was so powerful, so intense, so perfect, so sweet! I remember thinking, "This is what 'real' love is like." That was all I had ever wanted but never knew how or where to find it. And for reasons I knew not, I knew that Bible would protect me against anything. As I lay there clutching that Bible tightly to my chest, conviction came over me and I saw my sins. I cried heaving sobs of repentence for all the hurt and shame I had caused our Lord and Savior; for doing what the Bible calls an abomination to GOD (speaking to the dead). I cried so hard I finally, out of exhaustion, fell asleep. I had terrible nightmares and fought all night long. I drempt of lies and deceit, robbery and murder, being spied on and chased down, just barely excaping with my life. I see now that those dreams were an analogy of all the devil had done to me and all that was happening. The next morning I felt exhausted and in shock. My mind was reeling with all I had experienced in such a short time. The HOLY SPIRIT started reasoning with me. Over a period of 3 days we reasoned with one another. I kept saying, "but, God, my case must be an exception. What I was suppose to do would be a good thing. It would help people. I would be channeling the Archangel Michael!". I checked and double-checked the scripture texts referred to in the "Great Controversy" and sure enough, the texts were clear on every point. Then finally, seeing the truth and that there was no other truth, I surrendered and accepted Jesus Christ and the truth of the Holy Bible into my heart. I didn't know what lay ahead. I had to erase the slate of my life and start over. It was a strange feeling. Everything in my life up until then had to be put away. I had drank alcohol and done drugs and been involved in the occult/new-age most of my adult life. I had to change. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, but after I gave up the new-age, confessed and repented of my sins, gave my life and love and trust to Jesus Christ, I didn't have to try anymore. The intense need and uncontrollable desire for those things was just gone. When I was tempted, all I thought was, "look what God has done for you. Look at all the love and forgiveness he has given you. You have a father now that you can trust. You have love now that you have always longed for and desperately needed. You have a truth that has set you free and is priceless. You cannot disappoint God after all He has done for you. He has revealed immeasurable truth to you. You must trust Him because He has proved Himself faithful to meet all your needs. He will give you the strength to overcome anything." Oct. 9-11, 1990 was my "new-birthday". I was 43 years old. I can't praise GOD enough for loving me so. Through every struggle He has made me stronger and braver than I ever was without Him. I studied non-stop, for those first few years after my deliverence. I wanted to find out as quickly as possible all that I had been missing. I wanted to make up for all that 'lost' time. It has been hard at times. I had never let my brother go and after 20+yrs., I finally had to say "Good-bye. Hope I see ya later.";but not directly speaking to him this time, but to myself, in my heart. I won't tell you that part has been easy. I miss him more than words can express. I crave the thought of hugging him. I dream about him often. In my dreams, he is just lost on a journey and finally finds his way back home and we are together again and I'm happier than I've ever been. All is right in the world. I believe in that dream, and I know I will see him again someday and I will never lose him again. We will see each other for the first time as GOD meant us to be. History proves the Bible is true. All the prophecies have happened just like they were predicted. The change in my life proves the Bible is true. It is not about being convinced of a theory. It is a supernatural change and I praise God for it. We have a most glorious and perfect God. There is nothing that can compare. He is our Father and the love He has for us is like nothing else. And for those skeptics out there, I have a challenge. Give God a chance to speak to your heart. Give Him the benefit of the doubt. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If you honestly and sincerely give God the opportunity to come into your life, I guarantee you, you will not be disappointed. It is my hope and prayer that this testimony will be of some help in leading others, who have been lost, trapped and deceived, to the truth. This TRUTH "will" set you free! There's only one catch though. You have to love the truth. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life". If you really love Him, you will love the truth. (2Thess. 2:10-11) If you really love the truth, you will find Him. May GOD richly bless you as you seek HIM.
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Is the devil, Satan real?
The 6 chapters of The Great Controversy
Andrea's Testimony
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