"Going home for Christmas."      Rumors  start and end with  R&R.
(Meg  Clarke)  "Sometimes it helps to go-home for Christmas and sometimes it doesn't.  It's a matter of conscience."
 (Julie Jacobs) When we were younger we made the first choice of putting Jesus first when we moved away from home--that's the  issue now."
(Stewart)Those who kill father or mother, raven will pluck out eye.
(Chris Blaise)"There isn't an attitude of if Jesus doesn't want me to go, I won't.  Brothers and sisters should find out whether or not it's pleasing to Jesus."

It isn't good for Tim McAndrews to be able to hide among the sheep.He's meant to be booted out.  There's no law that says that sisters can't be on the Board of Directors.  About going home for Christmas.  It is indeed up to your conscience, it has to be.  All the flesh wants is to be told what to do.   Because Tim and the rest of you desire not to be responsible that determines and runs you.  Trying to pass off responsibility in an infinite number of sneaky ways.      From the crude 'Stewart what should we do'down to the finesse.  We went through it with the lambs, then the 20 jewels, and now  you. "Going home for Christmas."  This is the one you've been doing alot of round and round about.  Thinking about whether or not you will say anything.  You are going to do what you are going to do with the reasons that you usually do when all is said and done.  You don't stop something you haven't finished.  I would even give  advice. Although it's true I should at least point to some facts that you  are   marvelously  overlooking.     You  have a fine   way  of forgetting what God wants to get your own  way.    It's a fact that you do what  you  always do. You don't hear it from  each   other because  you  sell each  other  down the drain. Now, how bout some facts that really have bearing. Someone also said "What are the specific factors that influence our decisions." Another thing I noticed is that all you mentioned what the effect on your physical family until Chris said something about the good of the
fellowship.  That ought to be one of the first factors.  If I do XYZ what will be the effect on my covenant.  Theoretically  we have a fellowship.  We have a covenant.  What will the effect be on those here be.  You mentioned your family.  Where's your heart?  You showed that it's not here.  We mentioned that the number saved is declining.  This week it's almost  cut in half again.  The point being ... I am not going to get carried away by  making suggestions because they aren't heeded anymore. You say 'Come and let us hear.' They will hear but they won't do anything.  That's the way it will become. When I asked the interesteds (IN PHILA) what did I say that didn't make sense, they couldn't come up with a thing.  Why aren't they followed?  One of the is that you biggest factors is that you said you fellowshipped about it, but you forgot to mention
 

 Jesus' will,  but you fellowshipped about it but you happened to forget        about it. Well, there's something else you ought to consider. Before the other         factors, you  ought to put first things-first. You are not going to put first things first. You are  going to do what you do for   the reasons   you do. The unsaved say 'Oh no, I do what I want  to do, no one can push me around.' You wouldn't say that with your mouth. (But that's where we're  at.)    If you did put first things first  like the effect on the fellowship.   Another thing  that  is very high on the list that several  started   making a stab at.   This is not the  first time.    (That  we've "gone home"   for Christmas.) With  the lambs it's new. The  average  one of you has gone through it 3.7  times.   It's old to you. You refuse to learn your lesson. You go through it and you forget it. You put it behind you so you won't grow.   You  don't want to face what you  are doing. I did this 4  times, what  was the result.    You don't put it high on your list.  It's
 not brand new to you.   You have your  own experience.   There's no other facts involved that  should be high on the list.    December 25--your family    gathers to rejoice   in the birth of Christ,  why shouldn't  you  be a part of it anyway? Going home   for  Christmas. I am not  going to tell you to go home or not.  So you fellowshipped  with the council.  You fellowshipped with someone  about  it and  you  have  your front. I   fellowshipped about it.   Someday you are going to meet Jesus.   You know games   and you know honesty. Try  to learn what is  pleasing to the Lord. You know, other copies and what they will let you  do. December 25  is a time for you to get mocked and take part in cursing Jesus.  I wonder how many of you said to your family 'You are not into Jesus why don't you come to my Christmas party?' The only way that it would be right would be if there was  an honest fellowship with whom you could honestly talk to about it.  You made sure that there isn't an honest fellowship so there isn't a handle on you.  No control over you.  You want to be free to do what you want.  The only way it would be right if there was an honest fellowship.  You made sure there isn't.  You would all have to value what the fellowship said to you.  You would have to say if this is breaking fellowship.  You would really have to know from them and do what they show you.  That's the only situation that would be right.  We are supposed to be a fellowship--a covenant--It really is every man in his own house.  It's just round and round--there's no fellowship, so there's no breaking fellowship.  Round and round and breaking fronts. It's only fronts so what does it matter.  The only way it would be right is if you made an honest fellowship.  That you made sure that it existed so that you would be free. That's why you go around with the dull weird thing.   The cult makes a fool out of you. You won't be responsible and put first things   first  and if they are wrong change them. Therefore, you got this. You don't think of adding up the value and adding up the cost and acting according to the bottom line. You begin         with what you want to do and you wind up doing it in the name of the Lord. I really think that's what you do. They came to Jesus and said to him 'Lord, I will follow you anywhere, first let me bury my father.   That means  until his  father died.   That doesn't mean that   his father died.

              He wanted to stay until his physical family was finished. He always said        'Lord let me do it..."  sounds familiar, bet you don't know how. They didn't want to be responsible.  They want to do what they want to do but make it look like something else. Honor   me before the people although I know it's wrong. The first time I went through  it, it took awhile. The lambs took a while to realize that it's more than December 25.  The others sat their dark and guilty and weird.  They knew it was right. They could have written a book.  There's something much deeper and it's an example of what's happening.  It's really sad.  It really is the way you handle it and the fact that you destroyed fellowship so badly that it's everyone in his own house and try to make it look like you are in fellowship.  That's a cult if I ever saw one.  Two faced. Esau sold his birthright for a meal.  It has to do with setting Jesus above your highest Joy.  Matter of fact, you've heard that you try to make the fellowship look so bad that the world looks better and you have your excuse to leave.  It wouldn't change matters much if we took a vote afterward and asked them if you were glad you went.  Very few would say yes.  You know the rules.  I hate talking like this.  How many of you said 'I wonder what the effect would be an my new creation. You want to go home to witness to your parents.  You can't witness to 17 year olds, how can you witness to your parents? Some said 'I can't witness because of the way they are.' You are so unreal.  Scratch Brother 'Wurmbrand.  How has your witnessing record been?  You have to answer that not  me. If there was an honest fellowship to examine each one of you, I wonder how many of you it would be decided that your spirit is that strong that their spirit would not blow over you. Some of you they would say a leaf would blow over you. How much would they say you are going to a party to witness.  "A covenant for nuns" Families understand that because it's a church, she made   a vow not to speak f or three years. You bear it well enough when someone slaps you in the face. You are doing it in the name of the Lord.

If these things are untrue or unfair, you don't say so.  If you say that they are true, meaningful and fair, whatever you do, consider them in the light of these things.  Don't give your old creation the luxury  of doing what you want to do in the dark. Serving two  masters.  In all that you do, do   to the glory of God. All these are just lost. That's all I got to say about going home  for Christmas. It's sickening that thinking with most of you, you intend to do "x"   when we get together, no one supports it. Something's mighty fishy. Alot of you think,   'They are making me feel bad about going home for Christmas.' You are going to do what you are going to do for the reasons you do always. I'm not going to try to change you. I can't. You are responsible. You are bought. You received good things from Jesus. What you do is on you. If there are any other factors , let us consider them. You are not lambs. you don't need advice. A brother said "Alot of brethren 'went home' last Christmas and didn't come back." If Life is dull enough , you will look for strong drink in other ways.
 

            THE BIG MEETING. What about the Big Meeting? A brother said  "I am going to be in the light about this subject. "This subject" but the rest.... some light! There's no honest fellowship. You know the agreements. -You are going to do what you do for the reasons that you always do and remember the rules, leave each other alone.  You know.  How are the groups?  Peter George telephoned Jeff Bernstein.  He said that the last year of his life was a waste anyway.  That's true, it was a waste.  He should get a medal.  Add up how much you accomplished.  Are you satisfied with just existing?  There's no board of directors physically.  About the lambs, did you hear?  There's tricks on every quiz.  The last question ... you were directed to keep a diary and on the top of  the page for each day "grow" or "wither".  A) I meant to-you know the choices... the last choice was yes, I did it.  A whole lot lost four points.  You don't have any points to lose.  They understood it, and I can look back and understand what I'm doing.  You won't examine it and won't hate it.  You won't examine it and act according to the bottom line and your talents, etc.  They overlooked it and now they are doing it.  Moses dismissed his people and they went to the twelve tribes and got worse and worse.  You can't be children always.  You can't say you haven't heard what is right.  You will try like the others.  You have heard what is right.

SOME OF OUR QUESTIONS CONCERNING OUR GROUPS:

             If you are getting trained at your job can you stay here? Why not. This has to be one of the biggest centers. What our house is and what it should be. It's you  fellowship. Surely your understand the scripture, "They each went to their own house."
Speaking of where you hide or you joy.  There's another mansion being built, it's not a hiding one.  House--your fellowship.  Your life together.  It means that house--which lives in a physical house.What about going to other places like Montreal or Baltimore?  The other places have to be open somewhat. Americans can't get jobs in Canada. Baltimore's close to Washington.
When will the groups be going out?  Ideally right after the Big meeting.  How many are legitimately ready to go?  First of all they are a house, no matter how zealous or lazy. The groups of 20 never got ready. (Even this isn't ready.) It depends on how right the  leaving would be.  What's holding you back.  It depends on what's holding you back. We are ready and we want to go. Automatically, you are not ready. It boils down to saying we are going to drift for a while.  What helps would be guidelines for going to Custard's last line.  New mind the one that when you are zealous and ready and go.  Are you that alone that you can't unite with someone.  What about watching television?  It will take that for some.  'We will backslide in the name of the Lord'.  There's nobody without any interest in anybody for no reason.  Four want to go to Richmond as opposed to 28 now in Cleveland and 71 now in Washington.  You shouldn't relate (those 4 going out) to this.  That's another matter, that's not one of these groups.  Satellite houses that will be (become?) lamb houses.  Theoretically, you are into raising lambs, training them, showing them  with your lives everything. The first time we moved out (from Allentown) it was alot more zealous.

Can sisters invite brothers?  Anyone can invite anyone. (As far as) restrictions and prerequisites, there's no reason why a sister can't. The physical i.e. changing in New York because of jobs.  Why not set up the same shape  here? (As in the centers.) On the other hand, consider this, that few in this much time have gotten in groups.  There's inertia on you to hide in the glob forever.  We will have to have the glob here because no one cares nothing for anybody, and you don't care enough to be responsible for your life.

 Are we going to control the ages in the houses?  Depending on what you mean about controlling the ages, sure.  I am thinking of the lambs coming out of a lamb house and older brothers saying, they're cute, I want them to make me look good.  My son the Doctor.  Your it now.

Vehicles.  We spend as much on vehicles as we do in Haiti.  It's hard to picture how that happens.  Yet, a board of directors should do something about it.

What about our houses being self sufficient?    You only go for the side you want. As a fellowship we made so little money before, because we were so inefficient. it's a real bad one end way, but so is this.  Face it, most of you don't care about the fellowship. Most of you don't care about the Church of Bible Understanding.  You wouldn't say that, but it's true.  You don't care about understanding period.  The cult is a drain of my time.  Either way, something's got to break.  I can do better things than go through this all the time.  This is the real problem.  You are not angry.  You ought to be real mad.  No one moved a muscle.  Laziness everywhere.  There's no hatred of your own death.  Can't even get you together to get you out of the cult.  Perhaps what  you've been doing is better.  You break yourselves down so that the world looks better. Get together on any basis.  Get a house together.  'I am going to sit here until Stewart makes me do something'.   We are planning to get a building for vehicles. In between planning it and doing it that's the problem.  We have such good plans, don't we kiddies.- Some of you want a life centered in making Jesus known.  On the other hand, there will be watching TV.  Where the heart is, there the treasure is always. (someone asked if we were going to get our own buildings) You are responsible to get your own building. If
 you care enough to be together, you will care enough to get your own building.

 
 It would  take something  to  look to.     When you  are willing  to settle for a nothing cult,  -that's the R & R. If you don't    like doing it   (The poison) He'll (cult leader) will make you do it a little harder. Laziness and cheating on Jesus. What about selling
 the Boston house?  It cost 70,000 and has been appraised for 71,000 without repairs. We've spend 20,000 on taxes and payments.  Where's your board of directors?  There's no honest f fellowship, so It has to be on any basis. There couldn't be a right one. If it went an any longer, you made it this hard. (Someone said) "The council should set up standards, we can't all pull up." Do you think that the council will believe your spirit? That's the way sin works. Looking for a way around a standard to work with the little conscience you have. R & R, face it, you got to be zealous. Whether or not you want. TV set. This is what you are building. Enjoy. (Someone said) The older brothers like Jeff Bernstein, Peter Jacquay and Jeff Wool should unite.  That's a standard.  Now everybody, Mother is getting old.  A righteous man is kind to his beast. Mother is old, she can't bare
children, but daughter can.  You mustn't despise her, she bore you.  But mother's getting old.  Tired old bunch of sheep.  Accepted practice that if a woman was old and man wanted to have children, have them by a younger woman.  What does that mean?  Mother old.  That doesn't mean you should despise Mother.  You are going to do what you do for the reasons you do it.  I am going to do what I do for the reasons I do.  You won't fellowship in what I do, so let's fellowship in what you do.          You can't face that. So whatever you tell yourselves.  Everyone's going to have to decide if they are going to have a fellowship or not.  There's still coming back to the School.  New York is still Everyone doesn't have to move out to centers. You can stay at the School. These groups are better as they get older.  What can you do with Jeff Wool?  You can't talk to him.  As you get older.  The younger ones.  It might be better for them to live in big places like New York.  When you get older, you've been had.  You think that the older ones would be glad to have a bunch of younger ones that they're raising up.  You would think that they would want that.  The second best thing for the younger ones is  that they be in one place.  All that is being built in the Lamb House system. 2-3 brethren don't want to be in Cleveland.  They can come back here.  The real need. Another way of putting it.  You need to have honest goals in front of you that you're striving to reach.  Settling for nothing less than achieving.  So there's reason...aren't you glad to go out for a change.  Even novelty doesn't mean much to you. Motivation of novelty. All joy has reached an eventide. It already appears that lambs are real lambs and gathering for Big Meeting.  Three got saved the other day.  The one, a sister, moved in the next day.  One hitchhikes 18 miles. (Gayle used to do that to come to fellowship.) Another, 23, is in the Navy.  He has pictures of Jesus all over, leading his wife to Jesus.  One way or another, Jesus is going to raise up a real fellowship.  I'm interested.  Everyone else will let the shameful thing devour.