SATURDAY, MAY  24, 1986

             Are any of you people   real Christians?   This question causes panic among the sheep   -- it wouldn't the children. No one went to the basic issue --   the word "believe". Continue in my word...continue believing.  Instead you went for "how bad I am".  It is easy to answer tangible questions such as "What is a real auto mechanic?"

             Why do I believe in Jesus? (Different ones gave their reason) But what would Jesus say about all these answers?  Jesus would say you did indeed answer the question! But Joan Thompson would say -- but what would Stewart say about all these answers?  Jesus said "My Father is working still and I am working" How does that apply?  What do you have to be to make Jesus known effectively? You sweaty palms would never say you have to be relaxed.  You got around looking like you are ready to spring.  That's why Joan gets you -- you're on edge all the time.  You're victim that way. When Jesus answered questions -- he was doing 3,000 things at once.  Sweaty palms can barely get the spiel off.  In order to
make Jesus known effectively, you should have been thinking "I should answer the question in a way that's helpful for the
hearers" (the verse..benefit the hearers ... ) How can I do it with sweaty palms?  Can't push the relaxed button.  Let's
consider Joselyn sizing up to Brooke Shields ... let's consider older brothers sizing up to Brooke Shields with sweaty palms!

             Were any of you able to be helpful or were you barely able to get past the sweat?  So how do you think you would've answered 'why do you believe in Jesus' if you were considering the 18 year old hearers?  What principles should guide you to be working to help others?  You should stress how easy it is to get saved! We don't stress that -- we make it look undesirable! All those answers we gave are useless because we were making Jesus known by witnessing only.  The 18 year olds say "that's fine for you but what about me?" There is nothing in that approach for them! We have to be
 aware how it affects them... Get around it by some principles --we're quenching the dimly burning wick (their 1st interest!) when they say "how did you get into this anyway?" or "what makes you believe in Jesus?"

             Design an answer to be helpful.  How?  We should be speaking of context of 'we have believed and have come to know.' Give them some grounds -- some reason.  When they ask, say "I'll tell you, but it doesn't apply very much to you because before I got saved I was especially dumb." 16 year olds feel very dumb around you.  (Does Bill Cosby talk about how dumb he is as part of his routine?)   Then go on to explain why you were so dumb (like 'I never heard God created everything' or 'I never realized God made me' -- they will know this stuff already, and not feel so dumb! They figure you know everything and it's hard for them to talk to you. Tell  them 'I hate to admit it but I was dumber than you!'

              How is it  possible for you to relax  and make Jesus known?     Paul  Blottner, why is Denny out there "witnessing"?  Paul said "He is giving the party line." "Doing his duty".  What is these brothers' "duty"?  The brothers duty is to grunt real hard, fail miserably, get executed, go to sleep and try again the next day dragging yourself out., At the storefront there will be a small core at first.  Everyone else has to say 'is it gonna work' yet all the while they know it is really right and it will work. Brothers accept miserable failure -- why can't they accept success?  They believe in Jesus and they are willing to take punishment!  What makes older brothers tick and why can't they relax?  What is the Big Issue -- worried about how they look.
 

              These brothers get into making Jesus known for themselves.  How can these brothers relax -- 'how can these brothers get out of the way and let Jesus work through them.  Even Peter with all his good intentions was always getting in the way.  How can brothers relax and have success?  Here brothers believe in Jesus, want to make Him known, yet can't get to first basel At the storefront -- have to relax -- no being tensed up allowed.  Being tensed up is all these brothers know -- they didn't know there was      another universe!?  Brothers and sisters need to settle in their minds to look ahead to  the reward and not to a life here.
 

              Do you think  these brothers have  to stop  trying to  look good? That's a clue, but  that's not it. Whatever the    brothers do, they do their thing with the "thing" chasing them close behind -- not the devil -- what is the "thing".  It is their conscience, their calling chasing them.  Harry do you have a calling?  What is your calling?  What are you doing about it?  Are you really serving your calling -- effectively, 'honestly, the best way possible working at it?  The brothers have to do something positive -- not "stopping looking good." Do something right instead of stopping wrong is the Gospel way.  Everyone has to settle in their minds whether to serve that calling or look after their own interests.  By conscience, common sense.  Brothers act like they are faithful to the "thing" or to their calling?  Therefore they are so worried about so many things! Brothers say "I don't care how I look like because I care about my calling and doing it effectively -- fulfilling it".  How else can you be single-minded, fully there?  "I'll be a good puppet and follow instructions".  Where is that gonna go?  The only thing brothers really respect is succeeding at something worthwhile.
 

              The storefront is aided by a huge place like Brooklyn   ere you can be at 1st base immediately with everyone -- all know us!        Is the 'we people' a fraud?  Are we gonna try lonely numbers?  Have we suffered enough?  It begins with individually responsible to conscience and to your calling.  As clear as the nose on your face -- where has He put you and where does He want you? (Not in Saudi Arabia?) We got to be fully there -- not a club instead of a cult.  Did we mention 'gnawing the desolate ground' on Tuesday?

 
              I know  a full fledged  adult 15 years  ago    it took  3 years for Stewart to find out how to lead someone to Jesus by     trial and error.  We have it made! This place is full of full-fledged adults! Now that I know better that Jesus may not come tonight-- I can take advantage.  Do you think you have a calling?  Then you need to root out every cause of sin and entanglements.      "The  gifts and the call of God are irrevocable".  Your calling continues (therefore you have chance to take advantage).  Looks like some will effectively work together to raise lambs for real. Therefore there is bound to be a separation.  When you know (adults) God goes by faithfulness or unfaithfulness.  Who is willing to work together -- not lonely heroes.  "Gather to me my faithful ones" -- "Be merciful" - "the Good Samaritan" When the novelty wears off there will be a core to work together.
 

              How much longer do you figure you got?  What do you plan to do with it?  We'll have brother and sisters meetings tomorrow to find what genuine unity there is -- that's the purpose.  Each one must settle in their mind whether to work at His will and purpose and calling for you or to rebel -- be 'hot or cold -- it's better than saying 'I didn't do it'.
 

                                       SUNDAY MAY 25, 1986

              Stewart thinks it is very important to 'have some method, some "star chart" or something at the storefront.  To keep track of training of any kind (even sport figures!) to see clearly who is striving or who isn't.  So there is no deceit among ourselves. We can be pleasing Jesus on one hand and our chart on the other hand.  Can you relate them?  Although there is no direct connection between pleasing Jesus and a chart there is in our case.  Stewart thinks pleasing Jesus would be wholeheartedly working at the special calling He has laid on us.  The vast majority of us have a special calling -- so pleasing Jesus for us is something very special and clear.  The real issue in pleasing Jesus is submitting to His will -- either I am doing it or not. I am raising lambs or am in rebellion.  Since that is the case I have had a funny record of not wanting it to be seen whether I am striving or not.  Consider verses "striving with all the strength He mightily inspires within me"... Harry wants it vague to have room for himself.  I think His will for you is raising His lambs as you are uniquely equipped to do.  In my position I have to go in some direction.  You would prefer not to make divisions.  So what's the value of it being clearly seen what each is doing?

              For the ones who will be striving - it keeps freeloaders off their backs.  Keeps freeloaders admitting what they are (I would that you be hot or cold).  My game is to be cold or lukewarm and be treated and see as hot.  'In order that those who are genuine may not be classed with false brethren'.  If your calling and what you've been doing had lent itself otherwise you wouldn't need a chart.  'Know well the condition of your flocks' --knowing who is doing what with them! I think there are those who are genuine.  The only reward possible -- "I have reason to be proud of my work in Christ Jesus.'
 

               Do you  really work at a living or steal for a living? We could get into groups for maximum value -- one of  goals of storefront  is to go to areas opposite your racial color and have success.  Divisions (There should be no reference to   'I'm not as good as so and so"    no maneuvering handles -- each one states themselves.

1st String    "I am so determined to work   at this program so I should be 1st string because I am sure I can  provide motivation to those less motivated". "I am going."

2nd String    "T am very interested in this  program and therefore I promise to work at it.

3rd String -- "There is no need for me to be a basket case and I admit that I really need to work at my calling and therefore I  promise to being working at it." Third stringers are pulling back  from the abyss saying "Why should I get into that pit?"

4th String -- Basket Case     "used parts specialist" In the pit. 5th string -- "Don't bother me!" (No   interest at all)

               List of Factors for Groups

               Where you used to go; Where most would recognize you; Best areas; Ease in getting together (where live and work); What category (1st/2nd,etc); Drivers; Who would you be interested in working with; How often can you go; Making most of black/white/purple thing.

               Each group should get a grade on basis of behavior -- were they behaving 14?  Serious?  Fully into the work?  Maybe they just don't care. (1st group stood up -- weren't fully there).  You bear it well enough when someone slaps you in the face -- we have nothing to protect so we can afford it. I'm too weak for this.  Everyone is willing to put up with it     let the lambs get poisoned.  Everyone is taking part in a broken down spirit.  "Yes and if a fox runs up on it the wall will fall down." Foxy cool Denny broke down the wall.  1st we tried to run away -- then we got in deeper.  Now try all these things to get out and don't work.  Who are those into coming out of this spirit and going to the work?  This broken down spirit is like a drug -- I will seek another drink -- I won't get to work.  Sick groups aren't allowed.  Everyone has to be confident and fully there -- arise with mind to work or stay drunk.  All got to come out of hiding and agree to proceed.

                      I don't know how  you are going  to make Jesus know with  any kind of holding out anyway. Aren't   we able to unite in the  truth.? You don't mind phony agreements.   Bunch of speeches is  enough. That's what you're gonna get.  Must be able to say "I hope all you hypocrites don't come with me.  You're acting like a hypocrite." Separate the real   from the imitation. That's necessary -- then all the rest  can suffer more. Maybe you'll find something in that sick spirit.  You're not mad.- If I was in a tight situation I would trust you'd be fully there" "I want to be with Jesus" -- as long as it requires no commitment.  Sick kind of agreement I allow leads to this -- no one can trust no one. This is what's gonna catch up to you.  I was having fun too instead of working.  This shows what your life really is, how your relationship with each other is.  We hide in each other, but each other's fronts.  Willing to surrender and break commitments and break calling.  Then start panic and try to tell each other the truth -- and end up shooting each other. over one false move. The Golden Rule -- we do treat each other as we want to be  treated -- as non-persons -- that 'has messed us up.  Do you take lightly being a hypocrite and holding back.  How am I going to do anything real if I'm not into protecting it?  Why hasn't anything
else lasted in the past?  Either I change this or go back to  fantasy.

                                    MONDAY, MAY 26, 1986

             In the absence of loving one another there is backbiting. "Wicked should turn from their wicked way and live." -- New Testament is "come to your right minds and sin no more." Yet you say "the way of the Lord is not just.  Is it not your ways that are not just?" "If you warn the wicked and he does not listen.. he shall die in his iniquity but you shall save your life." Misery is such sweet sorrow.  The Church of Slow Unity -- founded on the verse "for all days grow long and all visions come to naught." "I stand on the door and knock, and knock, and knock..." We act like we have Jesus in our back pocket -- that we can "return to Him later" when we feel like it.  There is no guarantee.  What's wrong with "Because it's Jesus will and that's enough."