Do's and Dont's of life, as learned by Dave (usually the hard way)
This will have a bunch of stories (usually from college) with morals and stuff, you you don't have to fuck up like some of the stuff I've done. Fear not, for there will also be informative and humorous stories, because I, unlike Mike, don't fuck 100% of the time
A DAVE AND MIKE CHRISTMAS - December 1, 1998
Well, it was like this.....
after a few (and I mean few) beers, we got all the new fraternity associates together...
And there were 3 cars and 4 cell phones and 2 trucks and about 15 dudes
the lead car had the 3 guys who were going to infiltrate the place (including Mike) all dressed in black commando stuff
Then was the second car that was to drive the main street patrolling for vehicles, then I was driving Mike's truck 3rd, then another car, and then the last truck
So the guy drops off the "commandos", and they climb fences (the are about 9 feet tall, and complimented with barb wire) and try to cut down trees but the saw isn't sharp enough
So they are stranded about a half mile down a gravel road in the Fort Knox of christmas tree farms, then there is a guy up in the trees at the beginning of the gravel road watching out with a cell phone (the lookout), and we are parked a street down waiting for the signal, and the two cars are patrolling (with cell phones) and the other truck is supposed to drive by and flash his brites when they get the "mission accomplished" call
So we are waiting, and I accidentaly set off the truck alarm and these people look out the window , so we have to move and that freaks everyone out......
meanwhile, the commandos are having no success cutting down the trees, so mike goes to a shed a looks for a saw, but he finds piles of already cut down christmas trees, so they finish cutting the one down, then get two more
I get the all clear sign (about half hour later), so I back all the way down this road, they throw the trees in and jump in the back, and then we get the hell out of there, picking up the lookout on the way...
And we go a few streets away, and everyone gets out and calls everyone else and tells them to split up, but two cars left, and so there is no way for 8 guys to ride in the back of the truck with 3 christmas trees
So we throw a tree in the other truck, and luckilly the other car showed up, so we got away just fine.....
until the other truck took the same road home, and when we got back to liberty, there was a cop, so the other truck turned..and the cop followed him
And they have a police scanner, so they heard the cops run their plates, so they knew they were getting pulled over, so they made up a story...
But the problem was that they said they cut it down off the road near wal-mart, and the cop said, "at 2 in the am", and they said yeah, and the cop says, "where's your saw", but the saw was in our truck, and they said...ummmm..., and the cop said, "If there are any trees reported stolen, your butts are mine" - It's was so funny
they were late, and we called them on the cell phone, and they were yelling about how they got pulled over - I couldn't stop laughing cause he was yelling so loud I could hear him across the room, and I wasn't near the phone
then everyone yelled at Mike, cause the reason those trees were already cut is because they sucked - they looked like Charlie Brown Christmas trees - it was the funniest thing I ever seen. And I have evidence on everyone, cause I took a bunch of pictures THE END.
