Just a little about me: I have been a
law
enforcement officer in west St. Louis
County,
Missouri for over three years now. I
spent nearly
three as a Lambert International Airport
Police
Officer. I got my start as an UNITED
STATES MARINE
Military Police Officer for six years.
Those
websurfers who are of Marine heritage or
in other
armed forces will find the humor in the
following
passage. (note: it is not intended to
offend anyone,
but a military background helps one to
understand it!
By the way, I spent four years in a
Catholic Seminary
studing to be a priest.)
IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE WORD, AND...THE
WORD
WAS...GOD!
In the beginning was God and all
else was
darkness and viod, without form. So God
created the
Heavens and the Earth. He created the
Sun, and the
Moon, and the Stars, so that light might
pierce the
darkness. And the Earth, God divided
between the
Land and the Sea. These He filled with
many assorted
creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimey
creatures that
inhabited the murkey depths of the
Oceans, God called
them Sailors, and He dressed them
accordingly,w ith
trousers that looked like bells at the
bottom and
with cute little flaps on their shirts
to hide
hickies on their necks. He also gave
them long
sideburns and shabby looking heads. God
nicknamed
them "Squids" and banished them to a
lifetime at sea
so that normal folks would not have to
associate with
them. To further identify these unloved
creatures,
He called them "Petty" and "Commodore"
instead of
titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flighty creatures of the
Land, God
called Soldiers. And with a twinkle in
his eye, and a
sense of humor that only He could
posess, God gave
them trousers too short, and covers too
large, and
pockets to warm their hands. And to
adorn their
uniforms, God gave them badges in
qunatiities that
only a dime store owner could
appreciate. And He
gave them emblems...and devices that
dangled. (When
you are God you tend to get carried away
in a big
way...)
On the 5th day, He thought about
creating some
air creatures and even desgined a
Greyhound
busdrivers uniform especially for
them-but He
discarded the idea during the first week
and it was
not until years later that some Apostles
"resurected"
this theme and established what we now
know as the
"Wild Blue Yonder Wonders".
On the 7th day, as you know, God
rested. And
the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down
upon the Earth
and He was not happy!
So He thought about his labours,
and in his
infinite wisdom, God created a divine
creature, and
this He called a Marine. And these
Marines whom God
had created in his own image, were to be
of the Air,
and of the Land, and of the Sea. And
these He gave
many wonderful uniforms. Some were
green, some were
blue with red trim and in the early
days, some were
even a beautiful tan.
He gave them practical, fighting
uniforms, so
they could wage war against the foces of
satan and
evil.
He gave them service uniforms for
their daily
work and training, that theymight be
sharp and
ready...
And He gave them evening and dress
uniforms.
Sharp, stylish, handsome things, so
that they might
promenade with the ladies on Saturday
night and
impress everybody! He even gave them
swords so that
people who were not impressed could be
dealt with!
And at the end of the 8th day, God
looked down
upon the Earth, and saw that it was
good. But, was
God happy? No! God was still not
happy! Because in
the course of His labours, he had
forgotten one
thing...He, Himself, did not have a
Marine uniform!
But He thought about it, and finally
satisfied
himself in knowing that, well, not
everybody can be a
