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Jokes About The Satan Re-Incarnate...Bill Gates

Proof that Bill Gates is the Devil himself!
"Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666."

The real name of the Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where "III" means the order of third (3rd). By converting the letters of his name to the ASCII-values (which are used in computers) you will get the following: B I L L G A T E S 3 66 + 73 + 76 + 76 + 71 + 65 + 84 + 69 + 83 + 3 = 666

Is the fourth beast Microsoft corporation which represents the power of money? Revelation 13:16 and 13:18 says:

"He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads," "and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

"Windows compatible?"

It looks like well-known OS's fall into the same category:

M S - D O S 6 . 2 1 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666 W I N D O W S 9 5 87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1 = 666 Coincidence? I think not!

...if the love of money is the root of all evil, is Bill Gates Satan?

BILL GATES DIES AND GOES TO HEAVEN

BILL GATES SUDDENLY DIES....and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95, among other indiscretions.... I believe I'll do something I've never done before, I'll let YOU decide where you want to go." Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?" Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell. When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven." Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill looked up, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled for God and Bill Gates was sent to Hell for eternity. Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons. "So, how is everything going?" God asked. Bill responded with a crackling voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place....with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women? "That was the demo," replied God.

BILL GATES AND CARS
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated

"if GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

AOL? AOHELL? you decide
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Email: marytaylorokc@aol.com