#18 "Send Naked Photos" Ths is to all of you spin readers who take the time to write me letters. I love your letters keep them coming. I'm sorry that I can't respond to each one of them although I wish I could. Since I can't I figured that I'd respond to many of your frequently asked questions right here. No, I am not retarded. Yes, I do spell this poorly. No, I am not insane. No, I am not taking anti-depressants. Yes, I do have more than a third grade education. Yes, I am out of it. Yes, I suppose I am a dork. No, I guess I don't have a 'clue'. Yes, I do have a life so I don't need to get one. No, this is not my only job. No, spin will not fire mebecause you cancel your subscribtion to protest me (right graig?) No, I don't think all of you are suckers, just most of you. No, I don't think Marilyn Manson is the coolest, I'd preferAlice Cooper if I had to choose a clown of rock. Yes, I do have other things to do besides sittingaround making fun of your 'idols,' incidently if you are stupid enought to have rock idols then youdeserve it. And for thelast time I don't like Billy "Butter Bean" Corgan because he has a whiny voice. The Smashing Pumpkins could be okay if they let D'Arcy be their front person, I'd much prefer looking at and listening to her then Butter Bean's skinny little brotherBilly. One guy wrote me from prison saying it was people like me who put him there and he wants to kill me when he gets out. Very funny, sir, and do you know that Sean Landers is just my pen name, my real name is Conan O'Brien and I can be found at Rockefeller Center Mondays through Fridays, I look forward to kicking your ass which won't be hard since it's probably pretty sore from being in prison. That's CONAN O'BRIEN, I'm tall, skinny, and have red hair. You can't miss me. Can you belive that guy never invited me on his dinky little show? You're a big shot now huh Conan, why I'd like to... Now, to all of you young women who write me love letters. Please send naked photos of yourself. I like women in all shapes and sizes. I love recieving letters from you all, but to completely honest, I would very much prefer to recieve naked photos of you. Now don't worry about them ever being shown to anyone else or published anywhere because I intend to use them for my own private purposes. I particularly enjoy breast views, and try to light yourselves nicely, the last thing you'd want to do is portray yourselves in unflattering light. There may be some age limit on this, I'll leave this up to you to determine your state's laws on this matter. I have no interest in landing myself in jail for collecting naked photos of underage women. An other thing I really enjoy is seeing photos of two naked women together, so if you have a friend you'd like to see naked, feel free to use this opportunity to pose with her and send your friend Sean the pictures. I will of course see to it that the photos are meticulously studied and tremendously appreciated. Now for all you concerned parents out there, don't worry about this column, it's just a little innocent fun, and besides you can't keep the wraps on your lovely daughters forever. Beauty is an uncontainable force, it can't remain concealed forever. And who better to display it to but a man such as I who appreciates it so throughly. So send me your naked photos and I shall never take them for granted and I'll worship them for the magnificent women that you are. Thank you all so very much, your friend sean.
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