# 23 "Genasauras Rex" The other week I was watching Peter Jennings minding my own business when this segment comes on about how generation X should move over,there's a new generation on the way in and no one knows what to call it. No big surprise, every body knows that time marches on and that the first kids Jacko allegedly molested are now old enough to do a little alleged molesting of their own. But here's the killer, then they put up their graphic which has the babyboomer generation going from 1945 to 1964? Generation X goes from 1965 to 1975 and this new as of yet nameless generation goes from 1976 forward. I beg your pardon, I was born in 1962, and I'll be damned if I'm a baby boomer. When I hear "sit-in by the dock of the bay" come on the radio I change the freakin channel. To include people born in 1945 and 1964 in the same generation is in many cases including the parents and child in the same damn generation. Anyway, this obviously only matters to me because I'm so old and no longer in that 18-34 age bracket, I'm now in the 35-65 bracket. Me and my parents, high fiving in the same generation. Since I'm clearly not in this new generation that the bulk of Spin's readership is a part of, I thought I might have a little objective distance and be of help in naming you. The first name that comes to mind of course is Generation Retarded but that's not fair because not all of you are retarded. So how about Generation Hello Kitty, Generation Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or The Saved By The Bell Generation. Since you all grew up watching Barney how about the Baby Boopers, or because you used to love dinosaurs so much how about Genasauras Rex. My personal favorites are the Take out the Garbage Generation or the "Mow the Law" Generaton or "Rake the Leaves" generation or how about "Shovel the Sidewalk" generation! Or better yet, "Get me a God Damned Beer" Generation! You know what, I don't give a damn what you call yourselves, all I know is that I used to think I was in Gen. X. Now Peter Jennings has made me apart of his generation, Generation Hair Whip. I hate the fact that I get stuck in this ex-hippie-cum-yuppie generation but what does it matter to me so long as I have a rocking chair on the front porch where I can leer at all you twenty year olds from. But if you're feeling special about your youth remember you are very very stupid and you're only good for sex so my advice to you is to have lots of it, especially if it's with us thirty year olds. Now that goes especially for you young genasauras rex ladies out there. Look kindly upon your elders especially the ones who write last pages for rock magazines that are not Rolling Stone or Billboard. Now, as for you Gen. X ass wipes,Genasauras Rex is going to kick your ass, while you're frothing milk at the cafe coddling your little passive aggressive "Tips ARE Apprciated" cup, they're going to make real money in a booming job market. I propose for us hapless people born between 1960 and 1964 that we start our own micro generation called what else but the micro brewery generation or the fat free potato chip generation or just sagging pectorals generation, anything to stay out of Jenning's own "Enlarged Prostate Generation' otherwiseknown as the "Last Tango in Paris Butter Generation." To think that me and Cokie Roberts and Sam Donaldson are all in the same generation just isn't right. I don't understand why I have to get stuck in a group I'm not a part of when all you twirps can radically and X-game extremely drive your Saturns, wearing your oakleys and sketchers listening to alt. rock and I'm stuck with Ottis fu*king Redding in a Lincoln Mark Eight. Hey ABC I ain't no baby boomer I'm born in '62 and a microbrew generation guy. A chardonnay on ice guy, aget drunk every night of the God damned week guy, a balding with ponytails, shirt not tucked in to hide beer gut, yellow toe nail in birkinstock generation man, a bonafied can't get an erection past noon time generation... augh fu*k it, I'm just old, LIFE SUCKS!!! your friend sean
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