God Dies- Francis Farmer

...God became a superfather who wouldn't spank me. But if I wanted a thing badly enough, He'd arrange it. That satisfied me until I began to figure out that if God loved all His children equally, why did He bother about my hat and let other children lose their fathers and mothers for always? I began to see He didnn't have much to do about people's dying or hats or anything. They happened, whether He wanted them to or not, and He stayed in heaven and pretended not to notice. I wondered a little why God was such a useless thing. It seemed a waste of time to have Him. After that He became less and less until He was nothingness.
I felt rather proud to think that I had found the truth by myself, without help from anyone. It puzzled me that other people had not found it sick, too. God was gone.

just breathe