MONDAY, MAY 1, 2000 - BROWNS GROUNDS, ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI.
First Match, Midget's World championship: NAUGA (champion) vs. MASKED STOOGE (challenger). There was no mystery here, as the challenger was obviously Cap'n Crunch wearing a mask. While "Stooge" briefly made some offensive moves, Nauga simply turned the mask around and went to work on his confused foe, and eventually scored the pin to retain the title in 4:18.
Second Match: GRIMACE vs. DR. DEMENTIA. Grimace destroyed the cult-fave doctor, beating him senseless and pinning him in 2:25.
Third Match: SKELETOR (w/ ORKO) vs. BEN TRAYMOR. Another win for the man from Greyskull, as Skeletor won by pinfall in 3:13.
Fourth Match, Women's World championship: MRS. BUTTERWORTH (champion) vs. ALICE THE GOON (challenger). Once again atop the women's scene in wrestling, Mrs. B started another run toward a long reign as champ by defeating ATG with a syrupdriver and pin in 6:10.
Fifth Match, North American tag team championship: LONG SWEET LIPS (M. KLEATS, FOOT, and TANKA SATCHMO, champions, w/ MONDO MBAMBA) vs. SETH and HUMAN TORNADO (challengers). The usual fare from the insane Seth and Tornado, pummeling the champions into oblivion. Still, they went too far and attacked referee TONY PLOW, leading to a DQ win for the LSL in 8:33.
Sixth Match: SUPER HEAVY "The Obese Luchador" vs. GENERAL ZOD (w/ URSA). A tough challenge for Super Heavy, but he did persevere and emerged with an upset of sorts, wrestling Zod to a fifteen-minute draw.
Seventh Match, World cruiserweight championship: STARSHINE HIPPIE (champion) vs. KARATE MAN (challenger). This series of matches perhaps reached its conclusion here, with Karate Man finally going over and defeating Starshine via superkick and pin in 17:24. Your winner and NEW World cruiserweight champion, KARATE MAN!
Eighth Match, World tag team championship: THE PILLARS OF PAIN (GOLEM and QUARTZ, champions, w/ DARK ANGEL) vs. RUFUS VAN PELT and BILLY JO JIVE (challengers, w/ "Sweet" SUSIE SUNSET). The POP faced a tough tandem fresh off their two-time run as NA strapholders. Their time will come, but not here, as Golem pinned BJJ in a grueling 10:11 to keep the World belts around G & Q's waists.
Ninth Match: BIG SID SMITH "The Neighborhood Bully" (w/"Mean Old" MR. McMASTER vs. SCHOOLHOUSE ROCKY. So said SHR, "The Schoolhouse Rock is about to make the biggest move in his career in this miserable league by beating your worthless, bloated bosy around the ring, to the point which you will be a laughingstock in the eyes of the fans, and not just the slime in the back like it is now." SHR thoroughly flummoxed the Bully both in words and actions, as Smith could not gain a foothold, offense-wise, in this bout. Rocky scored the win, and perhaps the final push toward main-event status, in 7:07.
Tenth Match, Your Main Event, World heavyweight championship, Three-Way Elinination Match: THE TERROR (World champion, w/ DARK ANGEL) vs. COOLEROY (NA champ, not defended here) vs. FAT ALBERT. Featuring a large World champ, a larger NA champ, and the Fattest Man in Wrestling, this matchup proved surprisingly fast-paced and exciting. Highlights included Terror knocking both challengers off their feet simultaneously with a top-rope double dropkick; Cooleroy executing a moonsault onto Fat Albert, and Fat Albert performing a standing dropkick on the World champ. With these three evenly-matched competitors, booking a winner was quite difficult, so the match concluded in a thirty-minute draw.