Petey SCinGer- "How hentai are they?"


By: Peter "Petes-kun" Detenbeck

================================

*The title Petey SCinGer comes up, the main cast of R1/2 is sitting up on
the stage and Petes is dressed like Springer*

[Petes]Today I'm here to ask this question, how hentai is the cast of 
Ranma 1/2.

[Audience]WHOOOO!!!

[Petes]First lets begin with Akane Tendou.

[Akane]Lets NOT! *starts to pull out a mallet and is restrained by security*

[Petes]Lets start off with P-chan, we all know she sleeps with the little
black guy. But do we know what she does in bed with him!?

[Akane]*tries to attack Petes, but is put in a straitjacket*

[Ryouga]*nosebleeds*

[Petes]How can we not assume that she has a little pig fetish? Perhaps Akane
here is a beastality. Or perhaps she knows of Ryouga's curse and has a
kettle next to her bed just in case...

[Akane]*Too busy swearing to hear the remark of Ryouga being P-chan*

[Petes]And what of the forrest of years arc? Don't you think she got a bit
of jollies from spanking Ranma?

[Akane]*rips off the straightjacket and is taken out of the building by
security before she can kill Petes*

[Petes]And what of Kasumi?

[Kasumi]Oh my.

[Petes]Haven't you ever wondered why she wears long skirts? And no it isn't
that she's a floating torso as SDGP has you to believe. It's to cover up the
whip and spanking marks left from her and Ono Tofuu's little perverted 
nights!

[Kasumi]*looks away nearvously*

[Tofuu]*glasses fog up*

[Petes]And speaking of Tofuu...

[Tofuu]*suprised look*

[Petes]I did a background check and I found out that he ISN'T in fact Ono
Tofuu, but.... Ataru Moroboshi! *pulls off Tofuu's glasses and pony tail to
reveal a goofy faced Ataru*

[Ataru/Tofuu]*is chased off the stage by a parade of female aliens, an irate
school girl, a crossdresser, a shinto preistess, a group of teenagers wearing
"Lum fanclub" T-shirts, a big ghost cat, and a small ugly monk*

[Petes]Now onto Ryouga Hibiki...

[Ryouga]<Uh oh.>

[Petes]It's obvious that our friend "Good Fangs" couldn't be tricked by
Ranma's disguises, so why does he try to kiss him/her? Because he has some
bizzare fantasy of having "nuku nuku" with his rival!

[Ryouga]*big nosebleed*

[Petes]And, I'll bet the he was actualy fooled by the Yoiko disguise and
spnaked her because the thought of naughy stuff with a female relative turns
him on!

[Ryouga]*mega nosebleed*

[Petes]And let not forget that he constanty comes into akward situations
with girls like Akane, Ukyou and Shampoo...

[Ryouga]*His nose, no longer able to take the bombardment of hentainess,
explodes, he falls back unconscious, and is dragged off my a team of
paramedics and surgens trained in rhinoplasty*

[Petes]Speaking of Ukyou... Have you ever wondered how far she'd take that
"boy" act of hers?

[Ukyou]O_O

[Petes]I bet she has a few fantasies featuring Shampoo now and then.

[Shampoo]*slowly edges away from Ukyou*

[Ukyou]*tries to tell Shamps it's not true*

[Petes]And this brings us to Shampoo.

[Shampoo]O_O

[SCGers]NANI!?!?!? O_O

[Petes]Sure we all know that she's a bunch of bouncyness wrapped up in a
kiwaii body, but have you ever thought just what alternative reasons Ll&Rr
may have come to see their "big sister" Shampoo?
And what about Bake-neko, perhaps Shampoo already knew about him, and they
got around to doing what married couples do... And he IS a big cat...

*unknown to Petes, his subconscious side of his brain is commanding his left
hand to put a gun to his head. It pulls the trigger, silencing Petes'
sickening rambles, and his head reforms*

[Petes]My, that was an odd experience.
All in all, Sham-chan isn't that big a hentai. (obviously Petes has returned
to his senses)

[Shampoo]*sigh of relief*

[Petes]But what about Nodoka?

[Nodoka]*brings her hand to her mouth in a "oh my" expression*

[Petes]Does she have a "stronger" relationship with her estranged son than
we think? And does she truly know that Mr Panda is Genma, and she takes
advantage of it? And what of her and Soun?

[Nodoka]*reaches for her katana*

[Soun]*breaks into tears*

[Petes]Speaking of Soun...

[Soun]*pulls out his demon head*

[Petes]Just how much of a father figure is he? Why is it that he always ends
up with Kasumi? is "Saotome" his pet name for Genma?

[Genma]*slowly edges away from Soun*

[Soun]*moves closer to Genma*

[Petes]And we close with Ranma.

[Ranma]*"eeks" and jumps into the air*

[Petes]Let's admit it, the guy has some weird 5-way cooked up in his head
that involves Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi. He also probably had a
weird thing going on with Ryouga at a point. And I'll bet he did a little
more than listen to Laichi...

[Ranma]Lies! Lies! All lies!

[Petes]And so we come to a close, thinking what perverse world the great
Takahashi came up with when she wrote Ranma 1/2. Thank you and g'night!